I'm never getting married...

[Miley Cyrus]

To make it simple and short:

My dad had a brain tumor which will keep growing back later on. It will eventually kill him. The doctors say that he may have between 7-20 years. The doctor said that the outcome of him living for 20 years and be perfectly fine is slim...really slim.

I need to be there for him and my mom.

 

[disneymama73]

I'm so sorry about your dad.

 

[CraftyMouse]

To make it simple and short:

My dad had a brain tumor which will keep growing back later on. It will eventually kill him. The doctors say that he may have between 7-20 years. The doctor said that the outcome of him living for 20 years and be perfectly fine is slim...really slim.

I need to be there for him and my mom.

I think it is lovely that you want to be there for you mom and dad. If you were my daughter I would be so proud...but I would also tell you that you need to have your own life as well. You can find love of your own and still be there for your parents. My guess is that they want you to have a wonderful and full life, complete with friendships, professional opportunities and romance. You can fit it all in...and when you find a guy who supports your devotion to your parents you'll know he's a keeper.

 

[Sparx]

To make it simple and short:

My dad had a brain tumor which will keep growing back later on. It will eventually kill him. The doctors say that he may have between 7-20 years. The doctor said that the outcome of him living for 20 years and be perfectly fine is slim...really slim.

I need to be there for him and my mom.

I'm sorry about your dad.

I totally understand being comitted to your family. But don't you think that your dad would really want you to have a full and happy life? You know, fall in love, have children... Maybe he could even walk with you at your wedding.

But, no one is saying that you have to get married. I'm just saying why you might want to.

 

[kristen821]

Sorry to hear about your dad.

 

[EEYOREMAMA]

Maybe he could even walk with you at your wedding.

...no one is saying that you have to get married. I'm just saying why you might want to.

Exactly We are all sorry about your dad. But that is an important factor, he is your dad. He helped bring you into the world for him to take care of you. You in turn thank him, by living a complete a full life. The spouse or partner you choose, should be someone of equal character who will help and support you with your committment toward your parents. It would be wonderful to have another person to aid you with decisions, personal matters and emotional support. Don't dismiss the benefits that another person can bring to your life and your parent's lives.

The heart is magic. It is the biggest, most expanse force of nature in the universe. The more people you allow into it, the more it has room to grow. Open your heart and your eyes and give yourself permission to love many people. Someday you may need to have someone else by your side.

 

[hiwaygal]

OP, obviously I don't know you or your situation...but it sounds like you need

it also sounds like you are a little scared...

I would strongly suggest talking to your dad and your mom. Spend all the time you can with them, tell them your plans and dreams and what you see happening in your future!

I'm sure they will tell you so much about their hopes and dreams for you too!

No one says you have to get married, and certainly not anytime soon...but it sounds like you are fairly young and there is so much of life to explore and experience...give yourself the freedom to love!

Take care, and know that 50,000 of your "closest friends" are here to help support you too!

 

[azgal81]

You can be there for your dad and still have a relationship outside of your family.

Marriage is no cake walk but then either is life. Don't right it out completely you just never know. I think your dad would rather have you happy. I honestly don't think your dad would want you to not be open for the idea just to be there for him. Maybe you should talk to him.

Alot of people are married or in relationships when a family member is sick and dying that doesn't mean they are not there for the person.

 

[goofygirl]

Sorry about your dad.

I understand your point of view. You are a good child to want to be there for your mom and dad.

As far as relationships go, they can go either way. They can make you happy and giddy, or they can make your nuts and add more stress to your life than you already need!

I can understand wanting to avoid stress.

But don't think being single will keep you from getting hurt totally. I've been hurt by friends, family members, coworkers, bosses and even strangers. It's part of life.

 

[VSL]

Not really. My mom and I have all these plans for later on in life.

I'm so sorry about your dad but I really hope that your mother isn't putting any kind of pressure on you for it to be just the two of you and no one else in the future (because that's the vibe I get from the above quote).

 

[diznygirl]

I'm so sorry about your dad. Prayers and Pixies Dust for your family.

Please don't feel that the answer is to shut yourself off. Do you think your mom regrets getting married and having children, now that things have gotten rough? Just think how much love and support she is lucky to get from her kids, and how lucky your dad is to have you. What if they didn't have each other or you children to be there for them?

Good luck to you.

 

[shortbun]

I wasn't getting married either. My husband had already been married and did not want to do it again. We were together for 8 years and decided, aw heck we might as well do it. There was no proposal, no big wedding, just an intimate ceremony and we went on a spectacular honeymoon! I was 34. It's been 18 years. Our son is 11. I wasn't going to have kids either but sometimes fate interferes. Never say never. You can take your time and do things as they naturally would happen. It's better that way anyway.

 

[Annam26]

I'm sorry about your dad. But science is advancing at such fast pace that maybe in ten or even five years there may be something new to help your dad get better.

Meanwhile, as you support your parents, also live your own life.

 

[remmy_7]

I think about getting married sometimes but I mean, it's a 5 year commitment...at least

 

[bettyann29]

Sorry you feel that way.. Life is full of ups and downs.. Having a spouse and children complete my life.. when I was younger I wasnt sure I wanted children but things happened and they came along.. Now I cant imagine living one day without them.. There are days that are not as good as others but each day I realize they are a godsend. Sometimes the simpliest things make me realize how blessed I am to have them in my life.. Me and DD8 went and ate pizza together tonight and just talked and goofed around.. It made me realize how much I truly love her. I have been married and am divorced.. After me and my husband split up I told myself I would NEVER marry again.. as it was so painful for me.. I told myself that it would just be me and my kids for the rest of my life, but a friend introduced me to my DF, who is my best friend and we will be getting married next year. I love him like I have never loved another person. I love him more than I ever loved my husband. I have found the love of my life although I wish I had met him earlier in my life but all the same I am truly blessed to have found him.. he completes me..

Now I look back and realize that all the things that happened in my life happened for a reason.. they brought me to him.. I want someone to grow old with and enjoy life with.. and thats what he does for me.. My children fill a different part of my heart and they always will.. I dont know what I would do without any of them..

Perhaps as you get older (by your username I assume you are a teenager) things might change.. Regardless, here is a hug You never know.. just when you least expect it, that special someone might come along..

 

[paigevz]

Sorry about your Dad, and want to wish you good luck with whatever you decide to do in the future. Just one thing, I would bet that your Mom, if you were to ask, does not regret for one moment marrying your dad, even with the pain of his illness.

My husband is chronically ill and was given 5-10 years to live 4 years ago, if there was no remission. The odds kept going down and down that he would go into remission the more time passed. He finally did, just a few months ago. Each week, month, year, brings us closer to the possibility of new treatments and gives us that much more time together. I don't regret marrying him for an instant.

You can cut yourself off from people to shield yourself from pain, but then you shield yourself from pleasure too.

 

[DisneyMommyMichelle]

OP, i'm sorry for your dad and what you and your family are going through right now.

 

[minniecarousel]

Sorry about your dad - that's rough. I don't understand why you think you can't fall in love and get married? Don't you think your Dad wants you to be happy? Do you think your Mom is pressuring you to stay close to her? Are you still in school? or did you move home to help out?

Hang in there.

 

[Miley Cyrus]

I'm going into grade 10. I realize that's still alot of time to decide. My mom doesn't believe that I won't get married. We've already talked about it, and I told her that by getting married will come with alot of difficult things. Divorce and death. I honestly don't want to deal with someone else that I would love dying. I just can't.

My mom and I made a bet. If I don't get married than she owes me a Disney Trip/ If I do get married, than I owe her a trip. We are going to move to Florida and I am going to become a Teacher and obviously work at WDW. It's a perfect life. Just it's sad because I don't know how long my dad will be there. 30 years...isn't looking good.

The doctors told us that there are a few people that make it past 15 years. 1 person to 19 years. I'm just scared, and I can't leave my mom.... I just can't do it.

Thanks everyone

 

[VSL]

I honestly don't want to deal with someone else that I would love dying. I just can't.

But that's life - people you love are going to die, some of them before you. It is horribly sad and can be very tough to deal with, but if we just cut everyone out then we miss out on wonderful things and experiences (I'm not just talking about romantic relationships here).

I know where you're coming from though, but in a different way. I'm very much disconnected from most people because I find it very difficult to trust people and let them in because of stuff that happened when I was very young.

(I don't know what age Grade 10 is BTW - I'm in the UK!)