I'm irritated by..... Update #3

[tlbwriter]

I think she finally sees how she treated me and my dd. I think she is begining to realize that she treated both of us very poorly and is sorry for it.

Yeah, I'm not so sure. I think she sees "Jess was a bad choice. If I was going to pick one child, I should have picked OP's DD." But I don't think she realizes that it was rude to rescind the invitation to either girl in the first place.

I can't belive she was willing to confront you, her friend, but not Jess's parents.

I can. For some people, it's easier to tell your friend that her child misbehaved than to tell people you don't know very well. If you don't know the parents, you won't feel like you owe them an explanation for never inviting her again. I know I became friendly with one of DD's friend's moms and I always, always lied about her behavior at sleepovers. I wasn't comfortable telling her mom that she was a whiny little drama queen. I just figure she'll outgrow it.

 

[cabanafrau]

Something's rotten in Denmark.

She had an agreement to do DL including your DD this week, but on what now sounds like weak grounds had no hesitation in breaking those plans. Now she's apparently had a truly horrid visit w/ this new girl, won't fill the parents in & won't break those plans?

You feel guilty about not honoring your Fantasmic agreement w/ her? Did she actually have nerve to try & make you honor it this week?

Does not compute for me.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

I can. For some people, it's easier to tell your friend that her child misbehaved than to tell people you don't know very well. If you don't know the parents, you won't feel like you owe them an explanation for never inviting her again. I know I became friendly with one of DD's friend's moms and I always, always lied about her behavior at sleepovers. I wasn't comfortable telling her mom that she was a whiny little drama queen.

Ack... there's no way I'd take a kid anywhere without knowing the parents, nor will I have anybody over who's parents I don't know.

I guess I'm just backward.

I couldn't NOT talk to the parents if there was an issue. I wouldn't avoid it at all. I'd rather have the parents mad at me for telling them their child is a delinquent (re: the spitting) and let them know WHY I would no longer be having their child along vs. letting the kid/parents sit there and wonder why we're not calling.

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

OP - are you considering letting your DD go alone with them anymore?

I can't belive she was willing to confront you, her friend, but not Jess's parents. Is she afraid of conflict with people she barely knows? Whatsmore, if she doesn't know the parents well, why-in-the-world is she taking their child to DLR?

No, dd wont be going alone with them anymore, which is why I said no to Friday. We can meet them down there - but we will have driven our own car and be doing our own thing.

It surpsised me that she did not confornt Jess's parents. Typically my friend is not someone who is afraid of conflict.

Its common here to take the kids to Disnelyland for the day. We are about 30 minutes away from the park. So for us it's like a regular playdate.

Something's rotten in Denmark.

She had an agreement to do DL including your DD this week, but on what now sounds like weak grounds had no hesitation in breaking those plans. Now she's apparently had a truly horrid visit w/ this new girl, won't fill the parents in & won't break those plans?

You feel guilty about not honoring your Fantasmic agreement w/ her? Did she actually have nerve to try & make you honor it this week?

Does not compute for me.

No I don't feel guilty about it. I had been trying to talk her into seeing fantasmic with us for over a year. It was just something I thought we could help each other out on. So we will do it eventually.... when I feel like it.

Ack... there's no way I'd take a kid anywhere without knowing the parents, nor will I have anybody over who's parents I don't know.

I guess I'm just backward.

I couldn't NOT talk to the parents if there was an issue. I wouldn't avoid it at all. I'd rather have the parents mad at me for telling them their child is a delinquent (re: the spitting) and let them know WHY I would no longer be having their child along vs. letting the kid/parents sit there and wonder why we're not calling.

See I thought my friend was just like this. I have no clue as to why she is letting Jess of the hook. It is so out of character for her. Which is whay I am so irritated with her.

I do think it is funny that my friends choice has back fired on her. I can only imagine what Jess will get into today.

 

[krcit]

I don't know what I would do in this situation. I'd have a really bad taste in my mouth over the way my dd was treated and I think I'd back off the friendship. If she treated your dd like that and has the nerve to complain to you about the hellchild she ditched your dd for, then what's next I think it's really weird that she brought this kid she barely knows to DL and the kid misbehaved so badly yet she is bringing her again Does she just not have a backbone or is she that stupid?

OP, I admire how you handled this but I would really, really rethink going with them again. She treated your dd like crap and unless she apologizes to both of you, I would back off the 'friendship'. She's only 'sorry' because jess turned out to be a world-class brat. If this mom is pulling this crap when the kids are 10, I can only imagine what's in store for the teen years.

 

[Tinkerbelle's Mom]

I don't know what I would do in this situation. I'd have a really bad taste in my mouth over the way my dd was treated and I think I'd back off the friendship. If she treated your dd like that and has the nerve to complain to you about the hellchild she ditched your dd for, then what's next I think it's really weird that she brought this kid she barely knows to DL and the kid misbehaved so badly yet she is bringing her again Does she just not have a backbone or is she that stupid?

OP, I admire how you handled this but I would really, really rethink going with them again. She treated your dd like crap and unless she apologizes to both of you, I would back off the 'friendship'. She's only 'sorry' because jess turned out to be a world-class brat. If this mom is pulling this crap when the kids are 10, I can only imagine what's in store for the teen years.

Very true.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

It surpsised me that she did not confornt Jess's parents. Typically my friend is not someone who is afraid of conflict.
...
See I thought my friend was just like this. I have no clue as to why she is letting Jess of the hook. It is so out of character for her. Which is whay I am so irritated with her.

See that's just it... there has to be a reason why she's "encouraging" this relationship that you may not be aware of. It almost seems like she doesn't want to step on any toes for some reason or another.

Its common here to take the kids to Disnelyland for the day. We are about 30 minutes away from the park. So for us it's like a regular playdate.

Right, I get that, but you know Lisa's mom! It's one thing to take along someone that you know well and know the parents well. Completely different when you barely know the other family, which is what it sounds like! Didn't you say Lisa's mom will only speak to her mom and not the dad?

I wouldn't hesitate in a second to take my dear friend's kids to say Holiday World or the Children's Museum for the day. No way would I take a close classmate (and DS has several) without getting to know their guardians first! Maybe that's me being over protective! I'm not saying I wouldn't extend an offer for the whole family to come hang out at something small, just to see how the kids react in public, especially with the parents, but I won't jump head first into the shallow end of the pool.

 

[tlbwriter]

Ack... there's no way I'd take a kid anywhere without knowing the parents, nor will I have anybody over who's parents I don't know.

I "people you don't know very well." I wouldn't take a kid anywhere if I didn't know the parents at all. But there are some parents I'm actually friends with and some parents who I only know a little bit.