I'm Humbled and need Help!

[JackJack08]

Are you still considering a Disney vacation in November, 2009? Maybe you can use the money you were planning to spend on that trip to pay off some of your debt instead.

Best wishes in your battle with cancer!

I just had to add that I totally disagree.......take the vacation.......

 

[Todd&Copper]

I just had to add that I totally disagree.......take the vacation.......

She's taken 2 vacations in the past two years - this is not a case of someone who "needs" a vacation. Vacations are a luxury, not a right, and she has taken at least one trip to Disney since the cancer diagnosis, so don't think I am being heartless. I am merely suggesting she do the responsible thing now and not live in a dreamworld.

 

[CobraBubbles]

I just had to add that I totally disagree.......take the vacation.......

I second this notion, if you feel good enough to go, go.

As for finances...well...there are different routes and it depends on what works for you but the late fees, etc are going to hurt your credit eventually so no matter what you do, you'll have some hurt credit...and it's JUST credit. It's nice to have, but do the best you can whether it be cutting deals with the company or filing bankruptcy. Work on getting well first, then work on your credit. #1 is so much more important.

I will pray for you - that God will give you the wisdom and help with money and more importantly for complete healing.

 

[BabyTigger99]

Seriously??? Y'all are telling her to go ahead and take a trip to Disney?? Sick or not, this is no time for a trip to Disney. Wait until you can afford it!

 

[dislal]

 

[Wunderkind]

Seriously??? Y'all are telling her to go ahead and take a trip to Disney?? Sick or not, this is no time for a trip to Disney. Wait until you can afford it!

^^^ Amen! I thought I was the only one with some common sense left here.

To OP, I'm very sorry to hear about your circumstances. I know this doesn't make it any better, but you aren't the only person in that situation. I personally have friends that are struggling both financially and with their health right now. They've have been able to overcome their problems while others in similar circumstances fall apart. If you have family that is supportive, try to get them involved as much as you can. I've observed those are the ones that make it!

 

[Disney1976]

The last thing you need when trying to deal with cancer is the huge financial burden and worries that go with it. I know this my not be popular, but unless you think you will be able to return to work soon, I'd suggest you just think about bankruptcy. Yes..a horrible thing, but a recoverable thing. The stress you are going through is not helpful to your health as I'm sure you know. You can recover from a bankruptcy and so many of them are forced from a medical emergency. There is no shame in it when you've done all you can and finally have to realize that that is all that will help you.
I pray for you and your family in your decisions and health.

I also agree with this post. Look into bankruptcy. If you're figuring out which bill to pay every month, and late fees keep accruing, it's time to stop the bleeding. You don't necessarily even need a lawyer to file the papers for you (especially if it's going to be a Chapter 7, which is easier than a 13). You can get the forms online from the bankruptcy court, or there are even programs that you pay a little money for, enter the information, and it spits out the forms. The bankruptcy hearing is also not a big deal, and the attorney can't even help you there -since he/she wouldn't be allowed to really say anything on your behalf.

Good luck to you.

 

[RitaE]

Seriously??? Y'all are telling her to go ahead and take a trip to Disney?? Sick or not, this is no time for a trip to Disney. Wait until you can afford it!

seriously. I don't understand people.
Being ill is extremely taxing on the mind and the body. A trip to Disney lasts what - a week? Then it is home to months of financial stress, lawyers, collectors calling the house, guilt, getting to go to court and meet the bankruptcy judge, your name getting put in the paper, family and friends talking about "poor you" in hushed tones..... and on and on...

People really think it's a smashing idea she drive herself non-stop 100mph toward that brick wall? REALLY?

 

[foszilfineder]

I second this notion, if you feel good enough to go, go.

As for finances...well...there are different routes and it depends on what works for you but the late fees, etc are going to hurt your credit eventually so no matter what you do, you'll have some hurt credit...and it's JUST credit. It's nice to have, but do the best you can whether it be cutting deals with the company or filing bankruptcy. Work on getting well first, then work on your credit. #1 is so much more important.

I will pray for you - that God will give you the wisdom and help with money and more importantly for complete healing.

Who gives a crap about "credit." How about "honor", "responsibility" and "honesty?"

 

[snowman1035]

First I would like to say, sorry to hear about the issues going on with you and your family. Alot of people out there are struggling to make it! If it comes down to paying bills or going to Disney, I would want to put our money towards the bills. Disney will always be there! Our family has had financial issues the past couple of months and yes, I would love to go to Disney and take advantage of the wonderful discounts they are offering, but until my bills are caught up there is NO Disney trip for us. Best of luck to you and your family.

 

[csss31399]

It never ceases to amaze me how a nice thread can turn so mean. It's really disheartening.

How can anyone judge someone's choice to take a vacation? Do you know the OP's cancer diagnosis, type, or if it's curable? I sure don't. Maybe that's the only time the OP can spend quality time with her daughter without the overpowering presence of cancer or treatments.

OP, I hope that you will be healed both financially and physically.

 

[Todd&Copper]

And it never ceases to amaze me that the suggestion that someone be fiscally responsible falls on deaf ears and is somehow perceived as militant and offensive????

 

[a1tinkfans]

Keeping you in my prayers and wishing you success both medically and financially.

 

[momx2]

The OP didn't ask whether or not she should take her trip. I really think everyone should take their trips out of their signatures just avoid this trap.

 

[MyDizneyBoyz]

Personally, I would rather skip paying the credit cards and let your credit tank than file bankruptcy. So long as you have enough income to pay for your house, food, utilities and have the means to get to work (car, bus, whatever) than those are the priorities.

One of the issues with bankruptcy is that if you have it on your record, you can't get a gov't security clearance (which means that in my case I'd be out of a job) and there are other employers aside from the gov't which have similar job requirements. Granted, it may not be an issue for you but I wanted to toss it out there as something to consider just in case.

I do think that some professional help is in order as there are so many laws, rules and loopholes that trying to navigate things without the benefit of someone else's experience may be more trouble than it's worth. Does your husband's company offer any sort of "life management" benefits or similar? I know ours has a program which will offer discounts and referrals for legal counsel and other such things. Ask him to check with his HR person.

Good luck to you!

 

[cttjones]

Thanks for all of the great suggestions and support. I have spent much of the day on the phone and have had 2 companies that were actually helpful in erasing some late fees etc.

I feel hurt about the trip talks. I came here at a time when I am considering bankruptcy, and did not need to be made to feel like I am. Some people are too judgemental. Just because we had a vacation doesn't make us irresponsible.

The trip that we took in May of 07 was prior to my cancer diagnosis which came in Oct of 07. It was our first vacation as a family in 9 years.

The trip that my family made last year was paid for (with my budget planning) by a generous aunt. She felt this was the one thing she could do to help in our situation. Not to mention, at the time, we believed I was on the way to recovery and would be back at work soon. It was supposed to be celebration trip for us.

Alot can change in 10 months!

No I am not planning a trip this year. As much as I would like it for my family, who greatly needs a break, I can not find anything cheap enough for us. I have looked at many options, but doesn't seem like anything will pan out.

Thanks again for those who had encouraging things to say. And the rest of you.. God Bless you too!

 

[PrincessMama605]

I don't have any advice but I am sorry for what you are going through. Best wishes for you and your family.

 

[jerseygirl81]

If you are'nt already on Disability I would think you would be able to collect this since you are too ill to work. We have a friend who went on disability and went off when he was in remission and back to work and then they reopened it when it became ill again. Is there anyway your family can make some extra money? Maybe selling some things on ebay or in the paper or renting a room if you have the extra space. Best wishes with your health and finances is hard enough dealing with one of those issue nevermind both. Linda

 

[HayGan]

Honestly, questions like this are better asked on a credit/financial related board. Coming to a Disney board asking for financial advice is like asking a dentist for advice on how to re-wire my house. Sure he may know how to do it but certainly isn't the best place to go for the advice.

I'll be honest OP, I don't understand how you could work for a health insurer who offers long term disability, pay relatively little OOP for your treatment costs (all of which you have discussed here in your previous posts) and still end up blaming your health issues for all of your financial problems. Everyone makes mistakes and one of the toughest parts of life is facing the consequences that those mistakes bring.

Cancer is a horrible, horrible thing and I hope you are able to beat it.
Best wishes for the you and your family to improve both your physical and financial health soon.

 

[Lisa_M]

The last thing you need when trying to deal with cancer is the huge financial burden and worries that go with it. I know this my not be popular, but unless you think you will be able to return to work soon, I'd suggest you just think about bankruptcy. Yes..a horrible thing, but a recoverable thing. The stress you are going through is not helpful to your health as I'm sure you know. You can recover from a bankruptcy and so many of them are forced from a medical emergency. There is no shame in it when you've done all you can and finally have to realize that that is all that will help you.
I pray for you and your family in your decisions and health.

I agree! I think you need to consult with a bankruptcy attorney to find out if you would qualify and the ramificiations that would result.

Who gives a crap about "credit." How about "honor", "responsibility" and "honesty?"

I think survival takes precedence over all those things, both physical and financial.