I'm feeling down in the dumps tonight

[slo]

For all those that don't know - I opened up my own custom picture frame store this year in June, with what I thought, the total support of my family.


I just found out tonight, that my MIL is totally unsupportive of me opening this shop, and feels that I never should have done this, and that I need to be home with my kids. I guess this explains why she NEVER asks me how the store is doing, or starts to cut me off when I want to talk to her when I'm stressing out about the business.


So I guess I can't talk about my life anymore with her, because I'm such a bad mom for doing this The thing is, I do see my kids - my oldest comes to the store everyday after school to spend time with me, and my youngest is going to start being here with my all day on Tuesday and Thursday so we can hang out together


I'm trying so hard to make everything work well together, and I do have my stressed out days, and I thought I could talk to anyone in my family about that, but I guess not

 

[mommytotwo]

sorry to hear that your MIL is unsupportive. We are here for you when you need to vent . Hopefully she will come around, and see the bigger picture. Good luck with your business .

 

[paintnolish]

Good luck with your shop. Feeling fufilled and happy helps make you a great mom. Also, right now I work at a family run restaurant. The couple who run it have two small kids who are there often. It is a great atomosphere and a good example for them. Just do your best and try not to let it bother you. You know what is best for your family.

 

[mommasita]

I am so sorry to read this ..
My advice is as HARD as it is, try to put what she is saying out of your mind, your family comes first. Your children, your husband, and yourself. She does not.

You are doing nothing wrong, only trying to make your life and your children's lives easier.

I also own my own business, as much as it is not easy, we are working around it. I try to explain to my children why Mommy can not always be there. Hoping the end result is worth it..

Giant hugs my doll

 

[HERSEY]

Slo I know lots of Mom's who are at home with their kids and do less with their kids than working parents. Your kids are very adjusted and are thriving that it what is important. Remember it is not the quanity of time but the quality.

 

[solferino]

 

[trappednabox]

I'm so sorry Sandy. It sucks when the people who are supposed to love and support you don't. You are doing a great thing for your family with this store, and I'm sure your kids still know you love them and are there for them when they need you

Don't let her get you down

 

[NC Belle]

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this during the holiday season. I am so happy that you found a way to have a business and still be an active mom, wife, and an active member of your community. You are doing an awesome job of mothering and showing your daughters that they can accomplish any goal when they put their minds to it.

The MIL will just have to deal with it and hopefully become more understanding in the future.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Goodness.....for a moment I thought you were going to say you had to close your SHOP!

{HUGS} .....Not talking to MIL about your personal business is probably a good thing in the long run.

Perhaps over time you can build a different relationship with her.

 

[4nana]

Awww sweetie, don't take it to heart and let it get you down Slo. I know it hurts and is difficult coming from a MIL you felt supported you and could confide in. Unfortunately, sometimes IL's/relatives can be over critical about how their family does things differently than they did. Remember, it's simply an opinion, which we all have and should keep to ourselves, unless asked. I've supported my kids through many decisions when I may have felt otherwise in my heart....however realize it's their life, their choices, and thankfully it always works out.

You've worked hard building a successful business and you should be proud of your accomplishment. I'm sure you would not have attempted w/o a balance you were happy with between family/work and would have given up, but you didn't. Keep your chin up, you don't have anything to prove to anybody. You know you're a good Mom and wife trying her best, your DH and children know that too and that's all that matters. Like Hersey said, 'it's the quality spent with children and family, not the quanity!'

 

[Kitty 34]

I'm sorry you're down.

 

[Oreo Cookie]

Don't feel down, you are doing the right thing, and setting a good example for your kids. You love your kids and you spend time with them, and nuture them. Don't let your MIL get you down. Remember you have your DH, friends, and of course the Dis.

 

[Pop Daddy]

Im sorry you r not a good mom , dont let her stop you, there is always critics (and often family) when you take a chance. Just laugh at the old bittys stupidity

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I just found out tonight, that my MIL is totally unsupportive of me opening this shop, and feels that I never should have done this, and that I need to be home with my kids. I guess this explains why she NEVER asks me how the store is doing, or starts to cut me off when I want to talk to her when I'm stressing out about the business.

It's too bad she's so opinionated about this. You don't have anything to feel guilty about. Hold your head up high - you know what's best for your family.

 

[mylilnikita]

First of all - You Rock!!1
I wish I was brave to start my own business!
You can't please everyone all the time, but you can show a great example to your kids and that is exactly what you are doing.

 

[drag n' fly]

Could your MIL be envious because you managed to do something she either could not or was not able to do what you have accomplished? Just a thought? Either way good for you for following your dreams your dh and kids must be very proud of you!

 

[grlpwrd]

I think it could be an envy thing. I think people tend to naturally criticize what they don't have/aspire/etc or perhaps they do not understand. Maybe it's a generational thing and she believes that all moms should be stay at home moms.

It really is a reflection of her, not you.

I wish you continued success and happiness in the new year.

 

[piglet too]

Slo ~ I am so sorry that she is that way. I for one admire you and what you are doing. I think it so great that you are living out a dream and still being there for your family. I hear you talk (well, write, but you know what I mean) about all the great things you get to do with the girls. Tell me, would you be able to do all of them if you were a SAHM? Those girls know you love them and I bet they are proud of you too.

 

[Charade]

Maybe you could frame her for something?



My dfi had her own business (custom chocolate and she is *really* creative) but after awhile (and 9-11) it wasn't doing well and she had to close it. Sometimes she expresses regret for the financial situation it put her in but I always tell most people don't have the courage to take that leap.

Here's hoping your success!!!

 

[slo]

Thank you for posting, and all the hugs
This is the first opportunity I had to read this, and it's so warming to know that I have a wonderful group of people, here on The DIS, to talk to You all know how to make someone feel better, and for that I thank you