I'm back from the lawyer

[Serena]

and I'm alright. I love, love, love her. She is perfect for what she does. She's sensible, down to earth, friendly, sometimes blunt, and knows what she's doing.
All during the apointment she kept telling us that as long as we can agree, then it will be better for both of us. She told us what was legal, and she made suggestions, all the while praising us for being grownups. She said many people cannot sit in the same room together.
At the end she reminded us again, that as long as we agree then everything would go smoothly. That if we have any disagreements, then he would have to find a lawyer, because she is mine. And if we have to take it before a judge then neither of us will leave happy.

LOL, she had our appointment dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt. She's perfect for me.

 

[Stepharoonie!]

Good for you My ex and I can't be in the same room together anymore, it's much too nasty of a battle. My lawyer is a no-nonsense guy who is sooooo helpful....makes me feel a lot better about my situation.

 

[snoopy]

Glad it went well, Laurie.

 

[BHFan25]

Good to hear this. Soon you'll be starting a "new" life. I hope everything goes as smooth as today went for you!!

 

[Poohbear123]

Glad it went well too.

 

[Serena]

I'm sorry Steph, I wish things were easier for you.

 

[Deb in IA]

I was wondering how you were doing, Laurie.


Glad to hear things went as smoothly as it could have, given a difficult situation.

 

[Serena]

Oh my, you all are too fast for me. Thank you so much.

 

[missypie]

Sounds like it went as well as it could have. My advice to you (and him, too) is to be willing to give up "stuff." So many divorces start out in an amicable manner, only to turn ugly over physical possessions...of course, it doesn't take a phychologist to tell you that the battle over who gets the gas grill isn't about the gas grill at all.

Having to replace a piece of furniture or an appliance is cheaper in the long run than having to deal with the stress of fighting over stuff.

 

[EsmeraldaX]

Good luck. My ex and I can't be in the same room, (him, not me, I can handle it; he can't) but we work at the same office, and sit not 50 feet away from each other. He avoids me like the plague. I shrug it off and tell myself, he's the one with the problem.

I needed to ask him a work related question last week and he actually passed my email off to another memeber of his group so she could handle my question.

I left after a counselor told me to get away before I got killed (3 weeks after we were married). We went once, and the counselor pulled me aside after the session and said "Get out. Now. Find somewhere to go tonight, this mans dangerous."

He got stuck with a really bad lawyer, which worked out for me. I wasn't seeking anything except to be rid of him and the debt he accrued on my accounts. However, he claimed emotional damages and I was ordered not only to pay off his debts (he makes more than me!) but also to pay him each month for emotional damages. Well, My lawyer drafted up an agreement which I signed stating I'd give his sorry *** $20 a month (all I could "afford" - lol) and he never signed it or returned it. My lawyer said that since so much time has gone by I am no longer obligated to give him anything.

Not backing out of the marriage was the worst thing I ever did. Leaving him was the best thing I have ever done. I have a wonderful guy in my life now, have improved relationships with my family and co-workers, and am doing quite well...

 

[Serena]

It's funny, we did have a disagreement over a small ceramic bowl his grandma handmade and gave me. She gave it to me. But then he asked if he could have the afgan she made and gave me. Ummmm, no! That's mine, he can have the bowl. We only had the two things and his grandma is no longer living.
He wants the end table his other grandma had. And I said ok. I'm going to ask his mom if she has something of her mom's that she would not mind me having. I don't see that there will be a problem.

I really think this will be alright now.

 

[olena]

Good to hear, Laurie. *HUGS* to you.

 

[dennis99ss]

If you are using one lawyer, make sure he signs a waiver, from your lawyer, lest you be brought back in to the soup if he decides he was not treated fairly.

 

[catsrule]

Hope it continues to go smoothly for you, Laurie.

 

[bjgrazi]

Laurie, I'm glad things went well. It wonderful when you have a lawyer that you're confident in. As was already said, try not to fight over "things" it can all be replaced. The better you and your ex get along, the better the kids are in the long run. That I can speak from experience.

Good luck!

 

[Serena]

Dennis, she made it very clear that she isn't his lawyer that as long as we agree on everything she sees no problem. But if he disagrees with anything, then he needs to get himself a lawyer.
We don't see that either one of us is being unreasonable and at this point, I don't forsee any problems.
Besides, I'm sure he's running things through his brother and his brother through a close lawyer friend.

 

[Serena]

So far, he's just asked for a few things and I've agree with all of it.
We don't have a whole lot of value in things in the house. The one big thing, the fish tank, I've agreed to give to him whenever he wants it. It's too big for me to take care of without a lot of hassle. I do it now, but since he wants it, and I get almost everything else. That's ok.

He gets the motorcycle, the rv, the flatbed trailer he made, the pewter mugs, the bowl and table, 75 gallong fish tank. and we're talking about his pension.
I get my car, and maybe the house, and everything in it.

 

[Dan Murphy]

If only a bowl, you guys are doing great. Glad it seemed to go well, Laurie, and good to hear you are pleased with the lawyer. My best to you both.

 

[CRB#33]

I'm so glad you feel good about this!

You're on your way

 

[Kitty 34]

Glad to hear you really like your lawyer. I'm sure that will definetly help!! Good luck to you.