If Your Sibling Didn't Come to Your Child's HS Graduation

[Katy Belle]

My niece just graduated. My family and I attended her Graduation Party, which was a week before the actual Graduation. I told my brother we could attend one, but not both, its a 9 hour drive for us. He chose the party, and was happy that we came, as was our niece.

I hope my brother and my sister will come to my children's Graduation parties. I would be hurt if they didn't make some effort to attend. But the graduation...probably not. Here it is held outside, but if its moved inside, due to weather, then you only get 5 tickets...we would need that just for DH and I, plus my other children.

I do think your daughter should tell her brother and niece herself, that she won't be there. You are doing the right thing in staying out of it.

 

[TinkTock]

Most everyone says the whole family comes to the graduation party. How far do you expect aunts and uncles to come for a graduation party? 500 miles? 1000 miles? I'm sure I'll just ask my siblings how important it is to them that I come, but I was curious how others feel.

 

[shortbun]

Don't worry about it. I often ask myself if 'this is a lion or a kitten' in life's troubles. In other words, how important is it? The answer to this one-it's a kitten, not important. Let the sibs work it out and just enjoy your granddaughter's graduation.

 

[rie'smom]

Our kids were only allowed to invite parents and grandparents. While I am so proud of their accomplishment, I'd rather have a cavity filled than sit through a graduation ceremony. My favorite was when our older son graduated and the valedictorian started off, "In all my years", and then talked about all of her life experience which may not sound bad but she talked down to the audience like her life was so much more profound than anyone else's could ever hope to be. People were looking at each other shaking their heads. Her dad and mom are both intelligent respected people in town. No one could figure how they could have let her leave the house with that speech.
No OP, I would not be hurt.

 

[Abbie]

Most everyone says the whole family comes to the graduation party. How far do you expect aunts and uncles to come for a graduation party? 500 miles? 1000 miles? I'm sure I'll just ask my siblings how important it is to them that I come, but I was curious how others feel.

I don't expect anything, just delighted if they can make it! Most of my and my DH's siblings are within a 2 hr. drive so I hope they can come. The furthest is his brother about 6 hrs. and a cousin about 6 hrs. in the opposite direction. One is coming, one isn't. I'm thrilled about the first and disappointed about the second, but not upset at all.

Heck, am I the only one who is getting to the point of being relieved to get "sorry, can't come" responses?? We are expecting about 100 people and I won't be disappointed if it ends up being closer to 80!

 

[brockash]

No, I wouldn't be hurt. Sometimes people can't make things for whatever reason. My brother didn't make it to DD's graduation. He did send her a nice card and a check so he was thinking of her though.

ITA! My brother's graduation is next month, and one of our dad's brother and sister are not going to be able to come. It happens, ppl. have their own lives, and sometimes can't make things

 

[Kathi OD]

No, it wouldn't bother me in the least. In fact, when my kids graduated from high school we didn't even invite the aunts and uncles to the actual graduation. Each student was only given 4 tickets. That didn't even cover parents and 2 sets of grandparents.

Now I have 2 nieces and 1 nephew graduating this year. My one sister decided to have the graduation party on Father's Day. We will not be going as each year my son has a big Father's Day BBQ at his house and the invites for that went out first. The events are about 40 minutes apart. My sister may be upset, but that's the way it goes. I will send a generous gift to my niece.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Nope, wouldn't bother me at all. Not one bit.

And, really, I just do not go for 'command performances'.

 

[WDWisTheBest]

I see no reason to be upset. There are too many reasons that family members get upset with one another, this isn't one of them.

 

[cabanafrau]

I am not looking to start trouble. I don't even see where that is coming from. When DD told me she wasn't going to be able to come I said nothing to indicate I was upset about it. In fact I am NOT upset. It has nothing to do with ME. We continued our conversation (she usually stops in once or twice a week after she gets out of work, because she just lives up the road from us so drives right by here) and it wasn't even until after she left that I wondered if her brother would be hurt, so that is why I asked here. To see if it would upset others if their sibling didn't attend. That's all. I don't have siblings myself, so wouldn't know how it felt if one didn't attend something like that.

It's funny because I debated about starting this thread. But I didn't think there was anything about my original post that some people here would be able to "pick apart". I guess I should have known better.

Absolutely wouldn't give it a second thought, although in all honesty all of the ceremonies I know of have serious limits on available tickets, so that also would make it a non-issue.

OP, I just have to say, particularly since you're at an age where you have a grandchild of graduation age, you should be very well aware of the adage not to borrow trouble. There isn't even a single reason for this thought to occur to you at all, it will indeed only lead to trouble.

If I might say as gently as possible, I think several of your recent posts indicate it's time for you to make some changes in your world & shake things up. I know you left your job in the not-too-distant past & you're demonstrating a lot of thinking similar to my own mom lately. I'll give you the same lecture I've been giving her, & I give it to her because I love her -- Get out of the house! Do something! Find a new hobby! Volunteer! Her thinking is getting very negative & very self-absorbed. She's fixating on stupid, petty things. She's a real downer to be around.

Sorry if I offend you OP. If deep down you think anything I said is true for you, make the changes. If you think I'm being rude & want to tell me to shove it, that's fine too.

 

[undertheradar]

At the request of our DS, we did not attend his graduation from hs. Ceremony was held outdoors in 90+ degree heat in a concrete tiered football stadium. Immediately following the ceremony, the class of almost 700 graduates returned to the school gym to change into dressy-yet casual clothes to ride busses for grad night at Disneyland. Diplomas were then distributed to the graduates after they attended breakfast upon the return from Disneyland. In a normal year, there are heated discussions about seating and the occasional arrests for fist fights over seating. The ceremony was recorded and dvds were sent to the graduates. We all watched it together.

Cannot see any reason to expect anyone to have to sit through such a snoozefest. Plan a gathering, invite family and friends, and enjoy celebrating together.

 

[fortwildernessishome]

I think graduations are EXTREMELY boring and dont expect any relatives to attend them.

THIS!!!!! My son is graduating next month. We told the relatives that they can attend if they have an interest, but we would rather they come to our party for him the next day. Since we are not inviting/insisting anyone come to his graduation, we also will not feel complelled to go to all the nephew graduations that will be coming in the years to come.

 

[Jedana]

My oldest cannot attend my middle child's graduation in 2 weeks. She cannot get time off of her new job, she has some college stuff going on that week, and the flight is more than she can spare right now. Now, if DD1 lived up the road, then we might have an issue, but that isn't the case, as we live in FL and she is in Nebraska.

Is my DD upset? Yes, but she understands that sometimes real life gets in the way of the fun stuff. She has more than her share of hard times, unfortunately, but they have only served to make her stronger.

 

[Buckalew11]

I have 4 nieces and nephews who have graduated so far and 2 from college. I have not been to any of them. I did go to my only nephew's on DH's side of the families HS grad but not college.

It has not been a big deal in my family.

 

[dhcoffey]

As an aunt, I do go to all the graduations of my nieces and nephews if there's enough tickets. Are they boring? Heck, yeah! But if they want me there, I'm there. My daughter is graduating Saturday morning and most of our family are coming to the ceremony. My oldest sister is unable to come but that's okay, too. She would be here if she could.

Heather

 

[Pakey]

No, not in the least. None of my siblings came to our kids' graduations and I have had 12 nieces/nephews graduate and haven't attended one yet.

 

[MissUndastood]

I think its burdensome to invite extended family to the actual ceremony. Who really wants to sit in an overcrowded, hot and stinky gymnasium, cafeteria, or football field to watch anyone but their own child. That's what the grad party is for, to invite relatives and friends.

 

[marcyinPA]

I'm going to have the opposite problem when DS graduates in 2 years. He has 790-something in his class, and I think they only give four tickets per family (four or six). We will have some hurt feelings for sure because not everyone will be able to attend.

 

[The Pink Cupcake]

Our son's daughter is graduating tomorrow night from high school. His sister told me last night she wouldn't be able to come.

Smart lady How boring!

 

[cluvsdisney]

I don't have kids but I couldn't imagine not going to my niece or nephew's graduation ceremony if I was invited to the ceremony unless there was a very good reason. I am pretty sure my sister's feelings would be hurt if I just said I just don't want to go.