If Your Sibling Didn't Come to Your Child's HS Graduation

[MIGrandma]

Our son's daughter is graduating tomorrow night from high school. His sister told me last night she wouldn't be able to come. It isn't a distance travel thing as she, like us, lives just about 10 miles from the town where our granddaughter is graduating. I don't know if she has to work (most days she works 8-5, but once or twice weekly she works 11-8) or if she doesn't have a sitter (she has a 6-year-old son and 2-year-old daughter). I didn't ask. It's not my place, and I won't get involved in it but I'm concerned DS is going to be hurt that his sister isn't there. And that DGD will be hurt that her aunt isn't there.

So, if it were you, would you be hurt or upset if your sibling didn't come to your child's graduation?

Our son and his ex-wife are having a graduation open house for their daughter next month, and our daughter does plan on going to that, if that makes any difference in your opinion of her missing the actual graduation ceremony.

 

[Darcy03231]

No, I wouldn't be hurt. Sometimes people can't make things for whatever reason. My brother didn't make it to DD's graduation. He did send her a nice card and a check so he was thinking of her though.

 

[kamik86]

I'm not sure really it depended on if I thought they were just not caring enough to show up or if they had a reason.

2 of my sisters didn't go to my high school graduation. Which sucked especially since I was valedictorian so I had a speech. However it wasn't there fault they took off work on the day my graduation was supposed to be but when it was rained out they couldn't get the new day off.

 

[msmayor]

It wouldn't bother me in the least...matter of fact, when my daughter graduated from HS two years ago I specifically DIDN'T want any other family members there.

Weather issues can always derail the outside ceremony and change it to a ticketed event where only two family members can actually be in the same room with the graduates and four can watch from an auditorium via live camera feed. Well that's exciting...not.

There are no real graduate celebrations because immediately after the ceremony, the graduates loaded up into buses to head out for their supervised grad night activities. I didn't really feel like entertaining everyone else when we knew we were having a graduation party the following weekend.

I told everyone who may have wanted to see the graduation to check out the feed they offered via the internet, and honestly didn't care if they watched or not.

I'll feel the same way when she graduates from college.

 

[RitaZ.]

I'm really close with my brothers and I wasn't upset when they couldn't attend DS's high school graduation last year. They called DS as soon as the ceremony was over to congratulate him. DS wasn't upset. He knew that we would all get together and celebrate his graduation at a later time.

 

[Swan4Me]

I think graduations are EXTREMELY boring and dont expect any relatives to attend them.

 

[luvmy3]

I have had a total of 4 nieces and nephews graduate so far and haven't attended one of their ceremonies. We have always gone to the graduation party though. Around here most schools limit the amount of guests one can have, so its usually parents and grandparents that attend. I won't be hurt if any of my kid's aunts and uncles don't come to their graduation.

 

[shinysparklybubbles]

I think I'd need to know why she wasn't going before deciding. My husband didn't go to see his sisters high school graduation because he just started a new job and didn't want to ask for off. We missed another sister college graduation because of settlement on our house and DS had a field trip.

Another time we had to pick between the party or the Vermont and asked the person which they'd rather us attend and their answer was the party because they would skip graduation if they could lol.

 

[MIGrandma]

I'm glad to see that of the posters responding so far, no one would be upset.

The graduation ceremony is being held indoors in the gymnasium, with chair seating on the floor and bleachers on each side plus one side has an upper level of bleachers as well so it can accommodate a lot of people and there are no restrictions on how many relatives/friends each graduate can invite.

 

[VAN]

Why would you subject somebody to a high school graduation when it wasn't their kid? I hated going to my own kids graduation because of all the crowd, having to arrive early for seats, sitting through BORING speeches by people I could care less about, then hearing the school band/choir sing, etc. UGH! All so I could watch my child receive their diploma ... a 1 minute highlight!

Unless you are a teeny-tiny family, I'd say to just let it go. Your son might be happy that this lets him off the hook from going to his sister's kids graduation ceremonies.

The open house is the important thing.

Try not to worry about what other grown people do and enjoy the festivities yourself.

 

[mom2rb]

I think graduations are EXTREMELY boring and don't expect any relatives to attend them.

I went to two of my brother's and skipped both of DH's sisters, high school and college. I will find a way to skip my brothers' college too. I hate them. I do help plan the parties and make food. The party is the fun part.

 

[Jennasis]

Not even a little bit. People have their own lives and their own things going on.

My family is a of the "everyone HAS to be there" opinion. Every birthday, anniversary, communion, graduation, christening etc. I was listening to my sister lamenting her need to reshuffle her schedule to attend a cousin's confirmation, and I finally told her "just don't go!". She acted like the very notion was crazy. Seriously, we can't drop everything to attend these functions all the time.

In the interest of full disclosure, I live 600 miles away from my family now so it's easy for me to not be at these functions, but moving away really opened my eyes to how unnecessary attending EVERY function really is.

 

[DisneyNutMary]

My sister, who is also my best friend, is not coming to my son's graduation- nor did I go to her son's graduation. The ceremony will be long, and mostly boring, and I will know more of the kids than just my son...my sister would only know my son.
However, she and her DH and both kids took the day off to come to his graduation luncheon that I am hosting. Spending the family time celebrating my son's accomplishments is more important to me than attending the ceremony.

Now, my sister in law is another story, she couldn't even make the time in her schedule of attending a church fundraiser to attend her nephew's graduation luncheon- that has me hurt and upset. I am sure a gift will be sent, but I would rather have her attend than have her gift- time together is way more precious than a greeting card and check.

 

[Shyvioletisme]

I think graduations are EXTREMELY boring and dont expect any relatives to attend them.

This. I was supremely bored at my own HS graduation so it didn't matter to me who all was there.

 

[merrily]

My son graduated last year. None of my siblings were there. None of my husbands siblings were there. In fact his grandmother (my MIL who lives 20 min away) wasn't there. No big deal at all. He still graduated. We, his parents, were there and that's all that really mattered.

Everyone came to his graduation party.

I have a niece and a nephew graduating this year. I am not planning to attend but am definitely going to their grad parties.

 

[mdsoccermom]

My husband didn't go to his nieces' graduations, and we live less than an hour from them. It was no big deal. I would think your husband and granddaughter would understand that sometimes life gets in the way.

 

[ilovemk76]

Our son's daughter is graduating tomorrow night from high school. His sister told me last night she wouldn't be able to come. It isn't a distance travel thing as she, like us, lives just about 10 miles from the town where our granddaughter is graduating. I don't know if she has to work (most days she works 8-5, but once or twice weekly she works 11-8) or if she doesn't have a sitter (she has a 6-year-old son and 2-year-old daughter). I didn't ask. It's not my place, and I won't get involved in it but I'm concerned DS is going to be hurt that his sister isn't there. And that DGD will be hurt that her aunt isn't there.

So, if it were you, would you be hurt or upset if your sibling didn't come to your child's graduation?

Our son and his ex-wife are having a graduation open house for their daughter next month, and our daughter does plan on going to that, if that makes any difference in your opinion of her missing the actual graduation ceremony.

We never go to any of the actual ceremonies. Many times there is only seating for the immediate family. Some even give out tickets.

Why look for reasons to be offended. She sat at the saved table for the concert and she is going to the open house. What more is she suppose to do?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Sometimes things come up.

I do say that my sibs and I make it a point to attend events like that. However we do it because we want to.

 

[MIGrandma]

We never go to any of the actual ceremonies. Many times there is only seating for the immediate family. Some even give out tickets.

Why look for reasons to be offended. She sat at the saved table for the concert and she is going to the open house. What more is she suppose to do?

Seriously?

The first sentence was all that was needed.

You really felt you "needed to go there" on the second one? Wow.

 

[MUFFYCAT]

Why look for reasons to be offended. She sat at the saved table for the concert and she is going to the open house. What more is she suppose to do?

Sorry OP but you mad such stink about it people can't help from thinking about that also.

I don't see why aunts and uncles need to go to a high school graduation.
She said she was going to the party at the house. It does seem like you're looking to start trouble where there is no basis to even start it.