If YOUR husband did this, what would you do?

[Nancyg56]

I agree with the posters who say this issue is all about respect for each other. In our family, I am the one who is home. My financial contribution is nowhere near that of my DH, nor was it ever close, but he would never make a large purchase without my input. It is not about the money, or who works outside the home, but how two people value each other and their partnership.
I feel badly for this family. Parents are role models in all that they do and say. Neither adult in this family is providing a positive example in regards to respect ing each other.

 

[PeterPanette]

I haven't read all of the responses, yet, so forgive me if someone's already made this point:

You mentioned in one of your followup posts that he does not work due to medical conditions. If I were his wife, I'd be all, "Well, if you're too sick to work, you're too sick to fish, mister!"

I'll never win the title of Long-Suffering Wife of the Year. He'd be hauling that boat right back to where he got it, but quick.

 

[PeterPanette]

I would let him keep it and take the kids fishing all by himself. Each time he went fishing I would get a pedicure and pamper myself for the day. I would use this time to eat lunch with friends and etc.

You, my dear, are a genius!

 

[disneymom3]

WEll, first off I would be realizing that my marriage had a lot bigger problems than a boat! It would either be being returned or being sold to get the money for the pop up which the children and I would then be using by ourselves for our vacations because DH would not be living here anymore.

This wouldn't ever happen though because I am not married to a selfish jerk.

 

[bigmerle1966]

and then take out an ad on freecycle for the husband.

either that or E-Bay.

For sale- one used husband. Starting bid 99 cents. Buyer pays for transportation

 

[DWDreams]

I'd be upset just because it wasn't discussed as a major purpose should be, and the item that was discussed wasn't purchased at all. I agree that it's a total lack of respect individually and to the marriage itself. That needs to be dealt with, obviously. In the interim, I'd be looking at other ways to cut expenses to pay for the purchase so a vacation for the family could possibly be salvaged -- like extra cable channels and miscellanous audio/video entertainment purchases, fishing gear, unnecessary lawn equipment. That sort of stuff.

 

[Becky2005]

I'd smack him upside the head! (not really but that's how I would feel).

However, then I would be just devious and not a fun person to live with. I'd make HIM figure out a way to pay for it and not give him any money (his check is directly deposited and I control the checkbook!)....plus I hold grudges...

I can't imagine him going out and doing a big ticket purchase without me. Even when shopping for HIS car, I was with him, etc...

 

[Southern4sure]

I have had lots of practice.

 

[pearlieq]

Well, if he admitted it was a moment of temporary insanity and instantly made arrangements to return it/sell it, I would eventually forgive him with the aid of lots of groveling and marriage counseling.

If he were unrepentant I would be removing him from all of my credit cards, gathering all my bank statements, opening a separate account for my half of the savings, and looking for a good lawyer. I would never, ever stay with a man who did that.

 

[DVC Sadie]

No big deal to me! I was at work!

Hey big Papa Duece, I was just trying to help!

 

[disykat]

I'd also be furious. Heck, I'd even be mad if it was something I wanted. We make large financial decisions together. (I scratch my head when I see people on the DIS surprising their spouse with a trip, etc. because we just don't work that way!)

 

[Mister Incredible]

My next door neighbor went out to buy a pop up trailer for his family today. He came back with a used bass boat.

His wife is FURIOUS. She was over our house venting to my wife for 2 HOURS! She was mostly upset because they aren't exactly rich, and she thought that if they bought a pop up trailer they could save lots of money on family vacations.

He is a fishing nut. The kids seem to like the idea of the boat. She hates fishing and is just "ok" with being on a boat.

He says he "can't " take it back.... ( I do not know why )

What would you do?

I'd lock the doors and pull the shades next time I saw the neighbor coming over!

 

[Galahad]

I'd also be furious. Heck, I'd even be mad if it was something I wanted. We make large financial decisions together. (I scratch my head when I see people on the DIS surprising their spouse with a trip, etc. because we just don't work that way!)

LOL. Us too. The only way I pulled it off: We've been married 26 years. At 10 years I gave DW a right hand anniversary ring. I knew that I could never surprise her with it because every spending decision is pretty much joint. So at 6 years (I'm a project manager, I'm used to thinking ahead ), I started putting $20 a week in the bottom of my sock drawer. At the time I did all the laundry so that part worked. I was able to surprise her with the ring and not upset the finances. (Though she looks in my dresser drawers a lot ever since).

 

[disneymom3]

OT--but Galahad, what an endearing story! That is just really cool.

 

[Caradana]

LOL. Us too. The only way I pulled it off: We've been married 26 years. At 10 years I gave DW a right hand anniversary ring. I knew that I could never surprise her with it because every spending decision is pretty much joint. So at 6 years (I'm a project manager, I'm used to thinking ahead ), I started putting $20 a week in the bottom of my sock drawer. At the time I did all the laundry so that part worked. I was able to surprise her with the ring and not upset the finances. (Though she looks in my dresser drawers a lot ever since).

That is super sweet. John also does all of our laundry. I am going to go search the drawers now.

Kidding. Anyway, if I were her, I'd be calling to store to verify the return policy on that boat, because so long as he's not working, he must not be healthy enough to fish.

My mother has this whole point-of-view about "people marry what they think that they deserve." This woman married this guy because she thought that was what she deserved. And that's what she's got.

 

[Binkrin]

My next door neighbor went out to buy a pop up trailer for his family today. He came back with a used bass boat.

His wife is FURIOUS. She was over our house venting to my wife for 2 HOURS! She was mostly upset because they aren't exactly rich, and she thought that if they bought a pop up trailer they could save lots of money on family vacations.

He is a fishing nut. The kids seem to like the idea of the boat. She hates fishing and is just "ok" with being on a boat.

He says he "can't " take it back.... ( I do not know why )

What would you do?

FH really wants a bass boat so I read him this post. He looks at me and says, "He sounds like a great guy. I would become his friend..."

He's lucky he's cute!!!

 

[MAKmom]

Well first I'd be happy that I didn't have to go camping. .

I'm thinking the same thing. I hate camping! MY Dh has done this to me with animals & cars. When he goes out with the kids I say don't bring home anything that is alive besides the kids.

 

[mickeysgal]

My mother has this whole point-of-view about "people marry what they think that they deserve." This woman married this guy because she thought that was what she deserved. And that's what she's got.

Very interesting and most likely very correct.

 

[grlpwrd]

This did happen to me except my dh came home with a maroon Toyota Landcruiser and I have been driving it for the past 15 years.

My situation is different, though, because the couple agreed on one thing while her husband came home with something else and what he did sounds selfish to me, too. Yup, I would slap his head. lol j/k!!

 

[rigs32]

Heck if he's not working, he could spend his days building his own boat. My cash strapped brother did just that this winter and has taken it out for a spin or two already this season.