If your child was in prison

[mirmartinez]

How would you feel (obviously not happy)?
Would you blame yourself?

Would you act like that child does not exist?

 

[mommy*RN]

I hope it never happens, but if it did I'd probably react to the reason they were in prison. Were they bouncing bad checks or did they murder someone? Its tough to know what I'd do...

 

[Saphire]

I would be devastated.
I would always wonder if I was somehow responsible in some small (or big) way.
I would never turn my back on my child and would love them and visit them.

 

[Tink888]

How would you feel (obviously not happy)?
Would you blame yourself?

Would you act like that child does not exist?

Horrible, sad and probably ashamed

Probably, I think as parents we always blame ourselves a little anyway even though ultimately we are all responsible for our own actions.

No, he would always be my child.

I hope I am never in that situation. My heart goes out to parents who are.

 

[kimmikayb]

Horrible, sad and probably ashamed

Probably, I think as parents we always blame ourselves a little anyway even though ultimately we are all responsible for our own actions.

No, he would always be my child.

I hope I am never in that situation. My heart goes out to parents who are.

i agree

 

[Liberty Belle]

No, I don't think so. It might depend on what he did, but I can't imagine disowning my child.

 

[mumom95]

Horrible, sad and probably ashamed

Probably, I think as parents we always blame ourselves a little anyway even though ultimately we are all responsible for our own actions.

No, he would always be my child.

I hope I am never in that situation. My heart goes out to parents who are.

I agree with all of the above

 

[Bluestars]

I'm sure of only one thing, I could never pretend like my child didn't exist. Ever. After feeling probably all kinds of emotions, I would pull it together and support his rehabilitation and encourage him to learn from his mistakes and do something meaningful with his life.

Even if he had to spend years behind bars, he could get an education and do something productive. Having a child go to prison would be horrible, but as long as my child is alive, I will be there for him. My love isn't conditional on him being a perfect person.

 

[Stacerita]

Horrible, sad and probably ashamed

Probably, I think as parents we always blame ourselves a little anyway even though ultimately we are all responsible for our own actions.

No, he would always be my child.

I hope I am never in that situation. My heart goes out to parents who are.

I think we would all feel a bit like this. But truly, it would depend on what happened and what they did. I think that would play a big part in how I react to it.

 

[chris1gill]

Personally, if my child committed a crime, and I knew about it, I would turn them in myself. Something about honesty trumping blood. However, having said that, of course I would love them. Would I feel guilty? Well, I suppose every parent feels guilty even if they have nothing to feel guilty about. Although some should feel guilt, that's a reality in some peoples lives as well.

 

[HunnyPots]

I would probably feel like a complete failure as a mother, whether or not it was the truth. I know my life would never be the same but I'm sure I couldn't forget they were my child.

 

[rentayenta]

I have never thought about it before. I am sure I would feel a myriad of emotions including but not limited too: guilt, shame, sympathy, and sadness.

 

[Alesia]

I don't think that's a question anyone can answer if they haven't been in that situation.

It's also impossible to answer without knowing the circumstances. There's a huge difference between being in for a non-violent offense and being in for molesting children.

 

[chrisw127]

I would probably feel like a complete failure as a mother, whether or not it was the truth. I know my life would never be the same but I'm sure I couldn't forget they were my child.

Me too. I would wonder what I did wrong.

 

[Mermaid02]

I don't know what I would do. I met a woman over the weekend whose son in law killed her daughter (in front of their 14 year old daughter) and he also killed the neighbor who was sleeping on her living room floor with a gun to protect her. Then he went back to his place and told their teenage son, "I just killed your mother, what do I do now?"

If he were my son, I don't think I would ever want to see him again- knowing what he has done to his children.... no mother and now no father.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

Odd/sad question.....

But...of course, when you hear stories on the news...I contemplate how I'd react if that was MY kid committing the crime....

Talking about a murder conviction -
I'd still love them, and I wouldn't wish the death penalty on them in a murder case. I'd feel guilt for the other family who lost 'their' child, but I couldn't disown my son/daughter. I'd never feel the same as a parent again though....

Other crimes -
I'd visit... talk to them, but always love them.


SOmeone mentioned child molestation -
Ugh...that's so awful, couldnt' imagine the things that would go thru my head, or that my child would be capable. I don't know I'd ever believe it happened unless they admitted to it, and I'd still probably be in denial.. For the reason of a child being involved, I'd see this a worse than murder and dont' know I'd be able to look my child in the face again, although I'd still have love in my heart for what they used to be...


What a crappy morning thought....

 

[The Mystery Machine]

But truly, it would depend on what happened and what they did. I think that would play a big part in how I react to it.

Agree. There are many factors to consider.

 

[cruellababy]

Wow- not something anyone really likes to think about; but, I would love and visit my child no matter what they did. Of course, I'm sure I would blame myself-but I would never turn my child away from me; I will always remember the most precious moment when they were placed in my arms the for the first time.

 

[kellyg403]

I would hope that I would keep in contact and I know that I would still love my child. I also think I would feel guilty, a lot of guilt.

My dh's sister has been in prison since the early 80's. She had a drug problem and went to Washington state with a boyfriend and friends. They ran out of money and robbed a store, with a gun and someone was killed. Since she had been before the judge several times for drug related charges, she won't be out anytime soon. I asked my MIL if she keeps in contact etc. She said eventually she had to stop writing her etc. The guilt of all the things she thought she could have done to stop the event from happening almost drove her to suicide. This is one of the most loving women I have ever known. She said that at a certain point she realized that B was using her guilt to get money for new trials, etc and had never realized that she needed to accept her involvement in the crime itself. I really feel for her, because I saw just speaking about it was just plain misery. My dh acts like he doesn't even have a sister. All talk about childhood memories involve his other sister. He rarely even speaks her name. He says that he saw what it did to his mother and he will never forgive his sister for being so dumb. Clearly my mil still loves her dd, clearly she wished it never happened and there is a lot of guilt involved. So I think Mom's just love their kids and guilt comes with all that love sometimes.

Kelly

 

[Minnesota!]

When my brother was in prison, my mom took it very personally. She felt like she failed as a mom.

She still has moments (he has been out for 4 years now) where she really takes it hard that he was who he was. (He's been clean and trouble free since he got out....which is a huge milestone. He was VERY messed up from age 10 until age 23). I think he spent a total of 1.5 years NOT locked up during that time....

We did visit him when we could. And I took his calls. As did mom.