If you weren't good enough at something

[Sharon A.]

would you rather someone lie to you and tell you that you were (or make up excuses as to why they didn't need you to do it) or would you rather hear the truth even if it hurts?

The reason why I'm asking is we have a woman on our competitive soccer team who drives everyone crazy because not only is she bossy, she is really much worse than the rest of our team. Being the manager, at the request of the entire team I've been asked to kick her off. Should I make up an excuse or tell her the truth (as nicely as possible)?

 

[LucyStorm]

I would stick with the truth as tactfully as possible.

 

[Serena]

I much prefer the truth. I've come to hate being mislead. Just be really nice.

 

[helenabear]

I prefer sticking as close to the truth as possible with everything. Just try to be very nice about it.

 

[WDWHound]

I am the most uncoordinated person on the planet, so I have been on the receiving side of this problem. Trust me, honesty is the best approach. Its difficult, but you can tell her what is going on without hurting her feelings badly.

 

[abaldacci]

i am for the truth, if the person can take it becasue some people can't take the truth no matter how nice you put it.

 

[Lars624]

I think the truth is always the best idea, just be gentle.

 

[JasonLyons]

I woud rather be lied to and told how good I am

 

[Serena]

 

[supercarrie]

Be honest. The truth hurts, but finding out later that someone lied to you hurts even more.

 

[ZPT1022]

I think focusing on her negative attitude may be the easiest way to go

 

[Sharon A.]

Thanks for the advice. I kinda thought I should tactfully tell her the truth, I just wanted an excuse to wimp out. I'm just glad my turn as manager is over in about 2 weeks. I hate possibly hurting someone's feelings.

 

[Serena]

It's obvious that your'e worried about it. As nice as you are, you'll be able to handle it with no problem.

 

[glo]

Hugs....I would tell the truth...just try not to hurt her feelings...you are a sweetie, I am sure you will do fine.

 

[snoopy]

Ugh, I hate hurting people's feelings as well. I sucked as a manager at work for this very reason.

I'd like to say I'd tell her the truth, but honestly, I probably wouldn't. I think I would probably come up with a reason totally unrelated to her soccer playing skills, and then my lie would come back to bite me in the butt and I'd be sorry about it.

So don't take my advice, LOL.

 

[DixieDreamer]

If the soccer team is focussed on being competitive - then I would be truthful and direct that her skills and attitude were not a good match - and then "fire" her from the team.

If the soccer team is about having fun and enjoying team participation... I would "invest" in this person by giving her very specific feedback about how her behaviors are affecting everyone else. Honest, clear, non judgemental communication about this - often is all that some one needs to recognize the problem and do something positive about it. She could then choose to correct things and continue to have a great time participating... or she may choose to leave on her own... OR... if it still does not work out... there is always my first answer.

I believe that most of us are blind to the impact we have on others. The greatest gift we can receive from our friends and coworkers - is insight on how we are affecting them with our behaviors. Only when we understand how others perceive us - can we make real changes that improve our lives and relationships.