If you LOVE blonde jokes come here!!

[Musicprincess]

A blonde walked into a barber shop wearing headphones. The barber said "I can't cut your hair if you're wearing headphones." The blonde said, "I have to wear them!" And then stormed out. This happened twice until the barber just jerked off the headphones. Then he remembered his lucky scissors were in the other room. When he came back in, the blonde was dead. He picked up the headphones to hear what was playing. He heard: "Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out."

POST IF YOU WANT ANOTHER (OR YOU HAVE A GOOD ONE

¿~!*WiT a KiSs *n* A sHoUt DiS hOtTiE iZ oUt!*!~?
LoVe AlWaYz --
<a href=http://hometown.aol.com/musicprincess407/MandaHome.html>~*~

~*~</a>

 

[Musicprincess]

A Young Blonde, on vacation in Louisiana, wanted a pair of alligator shoes, but was reluctant to pay high New Orleans prices. "I'll just catch my own alligator," she told one shopkeeper," so I can get a pair of shoes for free." She stomped out of the store and headed for the swamp. Later, as the shopkeeper drove home, he spotted the blonde standing waist-deep in a bayou, shotgun in hand, with a huge alligator closing in. She took aim and shot the creature between the eyes. The shopkeeper watched in amazement as she struggled to haul the carcass onto an embankment where several other dead alligators were lined up. "Oh, no!" the blonde shouted in dismay. "This one isn't wearing any shoes either!"

¿~!*WiT a KiSs *n* A sHoUt DiS hOtTiE iZ oUt!*!~?
LoVe AlWaYz --
<a href=http://hometown.aol.com/musicprincess407/MandaHome.html>~*~

~*~</a>

 

[Musicprincess]

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long
flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if
she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take
a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to
catch a few winks.
The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and
a lot of fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't
know the answer, you pay me $5, and visa-versa." Again, she
politely declines and tries to get some sleep.
The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know
the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will
pay you $50!" figuring that since she is a blonde that he will
easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and
figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she
plays, agrees to the game.
The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the
earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to
her purse, pulls out a five-dollar bill and hands it to the
lawyer.
Now, it's the blonde's turn. She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a
hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks
at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and
searches all his references. He taps into the Airphone with his
modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress.
Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he
knows. All to no avail. After over an hour, he wakes the blonde
and hands her $50. The blonde politely takes the $50 and turns
away to get back to sleep.
The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde
and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the
blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back
to sleep.

¿~!*WiT a KiSs *n* A sHoUt DiS hOtTiE iZ oUt!*!~?
LoVe AlWaYz --
<a href=http://hometown.aol.com/musicprincess407/MandaHome.html>~*~

~*~</a>

 

[Musicprincess]

A blonde goes into a casino and goes to a soda machine. She puts
in a dollar and got a coke and 30 cents change. She thought it
was cool, so she went to the service desk and got 50 $1 dollar
bills for a $50 bill. She went back to the machine and kept on
doing this and finally she had all these sodas on the floor and
all this change in her pocket.
The manager came over and said, "If you don't mind me asking,
what are you doing?"
The blonde replied, "Winning!"

¿~!*WiT a KiSs *n* A sHoUt DiS hOtTiE iZ oUt!*!~?
LoVe AlWaYz --
<a href=http://hometown.aol.com/musicprincess407/MandaHome.html>~*~

~*~</a>

 

[Musicprincess]

Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some
tracks. The first blond said, "These look like deer tracks." The
other one said, "No, they look like moose tracks." They argued
and argued for a while and they were still arguing when the train
hit them.

¿~!*WiT a KiSs *n* A sHoUt DiS hOtTiE iZ oUt!*!~?
LoVe AlWaYz --
<a href=http://hometown.aol.com/musicprincess407/MandaHome.html>~*~

~*~</a>

 

[Musicprincess]

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead, all working for NASA, were trying to figure out where to go on the next trip. The brunette said, "We should go to Mars." The redhead said, "We should go to the Moon." The brunette and the redhead sat there arguing for a while. Suddenly, the blonde shouts, "Stop arguing! I know where the next expedition should be to ... the Sun!" The brunette and the redhead looked at each other and started laughing. The brunette finally said, "You can't go to the Sun. You would melt or burn up before you even got close!" The blonde said, "Not if you go at night. DUH!"

¿~!*WiT a KiSs *n* A sHoUt DiS hOtTiE iZ oUt!*!~?
LoVe AlWaYz --
<a href=http://hometown.aol.com/musicprincess407/MandaHome.html>~*~

~*~</a>

 

[Musicprincess]

One day, a rich dumb blond got a brand new Ferarri. She's driving
down the freeway tailgating a truck. The driver pulls over and
so does she, and they both get out of their cars.
He draws a circle on the ground and says to her "Stand in this
circle and DON'T MOVE UNTIL I SAY SO!"
She stands in the circle and the truck driver beats the crap
outta her car. And he turns around and says "HA!"
She's sitting there cracking up. He's says, "WHAT?? I beat the
crap outta yer car and you're laughing?"
She replies, "HAHAHA!! I stepped outta the circle when you
weren't looking!"

¿~!*WiT a KiSs *n* A sHoUt DiS hOtTiE iZ oUt!*!~?
LoVe AlWaYz --
<a href=http://hometown.aol.com/musicprincess407/MandaHome.html>~*~

~*~</a>

 

[Musicprincess]

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you." She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde." The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"

¿~!*WiT a KiSs *n* A sHoUt DiS hOtTiE iZ oUt!*!~?
LoVe AlWaYz --
<a href=http://hometown.aol.com/musicprincess407/MandaHome.html>~*~

~*~</a>

 

[Musicprincess]

A blonde and three of her blonde friends were driving to
Disneyland. When they were finally getting close, they saw a sign
that said "Disneyland left" so they turned around and went home.

¿~!*WiT a KiSs *n* A sHoUt DiS hOtTiE iZ oUt!*!~?
LoVe AlWaYz --
<a href=http://hometown.aol.com/musicprincess407/MandaHome.html>~*~

~*~</a>

 

[nsyncraider17]

I just got an email from my friend that has like a million short blonde jokes in it. I'll just put a couple...

She was so blonde that...
she took a ruler to bed w/ her to see how long she slept
she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order
she asked for a price check at the dollar store
she sold her car for gas money
she had a shirt that said "TGIF", and she thought it stood for "This Goes In Front."

 

[Eeyorelvr]

I love these jokes but I'm not sure If I know any!!

 

[Eeyorelvr]

I've got one!!

A policeman was interveiwing 3 blondes who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds then hides it. " This is your suspect,how would you recognize him?"
The first blonde answers " That's easy, we'll catch him fast because he only has one eye!" The policeman says, "well.... uh.... thats because the picture shows his profile."
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second blonde and asks her " This is your suspect how would you recognize him ?" The second blonde giggles, flicks her hair and says, " Ha, he'd be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!"
The policeman angrily responds, " Whats the matter with the two of you?? Of course only one eye and one ear is SHOWING because it's a picture of his profile. Is that the best answer you can come up with?
Extremly frustrated at this point he shows the picture to the third blonde and in a very testy voice asks " This is your suspect how would you recognize him ? " He quickly adds" ..... Think hard before you give me a stupid answer"
The blonde looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, " Hmmm The suspect wears contact lenses." The policeman is suprised and speechless because he doesn't really know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
Well, that's an interesting answer...wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I'll get back to you on that." he leaves the room and goes in his office, checks the suspects file in his computer, and comes back with a bearing smile on his face. " WOW!! I can't believe it ... it's true the suspect does in fact wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an abstute observation?
" Thats easy " the blonde replied " He can't wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear!!"

 

[nsyncraider17]

I have another one...

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are driving their car in the desert when it runs out of gas. They decide to walk and go get help, and they each take one thing with them. The brunette takes a bottle of water. The blonde and the redhead ask her why, and she says, "Well, I'll probably get thirsty walking through the desert, so now I'll have something to drink." The redhead takes a bag of food. The blonde and the brunette ask her why, and she says, "Well, I'll probably get hungry, and now I'll have something to eat." The blonde takes the car door. The brunette and the redhead ask her why, and she says, "Well it's gonna be pretty hot in the desert, right? So now if I get hot, I can roll down the window!"

 

[WDWfanatic288]

LOL!!!
those are really funny!!!

Disney vacations-
3/96-DxL(8 days) 9/97-WL(9 days)
9/98-FWC(9 days)9/99-WL(9 days)
6/00-PO/CR(16 days!!!)
12/00-DL(1st time!!) Fairfield Inn(3 days)
Upcoming trips-
6/02 WDW!
REMEMBER-It all started with a mouse!!!

 

[samster]

The best one I've heard recently was "did you hear about the blond that thought cheerios were doughnut seeds?"

<marquee direction="right">Have a Zippidee-Doo-Dah Zippidee-Day!</marquee>

 

[PlutoPinsJLM]

I have one!!
Your so blond that:
it took you an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes!!!!

 

[Ti Double Grr er]

How did the blond try to kill the gold fish?
She tried to drownded it!

How do you make a blond laugh on Sunday?
Tell her a joke on Monday!

 

[Musicprincess]

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their
first wedding anniversary, so he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is
all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the
features on the phone.

The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her
husband, "Hi hon," he says, "How do you like your new phone?"

She replies, "I just love it, it's so small and your voice is clear as a
bell but there's one thing I don't understand though."

"What's that, baby?" asks the husband.

"How did you know I was at Wal Mart?"

¿~!*WiT a KiSs *n* A sHoUt DiS hOtTiE iZ oUt!*!~?
LoVe AlWaYz --
<a href=http://hometown.aol.com/musicprincess407/MandaHome.html>~*~

~*~</a>

 

[Musicprincess]

Q: What do you call a blonde holding a balloon?

A: siamese twins

¿~!*WiT a KiSs *n* A sHoUt DiS hOtTiE iZ oUt!*!~?
LoVe AlWaYz --
<a href=http://hometown.aol.com/musicprincess407/MandaHome.html>~*~

~*~</a>

 

[Musicprincess]

80,000 blondes meet in the Kansas City Chiefs Stadium for a "Blondes Are Not
Stupid" Convention. The leader says, "We are all here today to prove to the
world that blondes are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer?" A blonde
gingerly works her way through the crowd and steps up to the stage.

The leader asks her, "What is 15 plus 15?" After 15 or 20 seconds she says,
"Eighteen!" Obviously everyone is a little disappointed. Then 80,000
blondes start cheering, "Give her another chance! Give
her another chance!" The leader says, "Well since we've gone to the trouble
of getting 80,000 of you in one place and we have the world-wide press and
global broadcast media here, gee, uh, I guess we can give her another
chance." So he asks, "What is 5 plus 5?" After nearly 30 seconds she
eventually says, "Ninety?"

The leader is quite perplexed, looks down and just lets out a dejected
sigh--everyone is disheartened, the blonde starts crying and the 80,000 girls
begin to yell and wave their hands shouting,

"GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"

The leader, unsure whether or not he is doing more harm than damage,
eventually says, "Ok! Ok! Just one more chance-- What is 2 plus 2?"

The girl closes her eyes, and after a whole minute eventually says, "Four?"
Throughout the stadium pandemonium breaks out as all 80,000 girls jump to
their feet, wave their arms, stomp their feet and scream.:

"GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE! GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE!"

¿~!*WiT a KiSs *n* A sHoUt DiS hOtTiE iZ oUt!*!~?
LoVe AlWaYz --
<a href=http://hometown.aol.com/musicprincess407/MandaHome.html>~*~

~*~</a>