If you could have a 5 minute conversation with your pet....

[DISshopkeeper]

(Inspired bythe Koko thread)

What would you say or want to tell them??

I'd like to convince my dog that every thing that moves outside is NOT a threat. No need to bark.

We actually never got "come" across to him, either and I'd like to cover that area.

And then I'd cover the fact that all throwing up should be done in the kitchen on the tile floor.

and then I GUESS I'd tell him that we LIKE him. Maybe.

 

[DISshopkeeper]

OH!! I forgot....

I SO wonder what he would have to say to US!!!!

 

[chell]

Let's see. I would want to tell my dog that even when I fuss at her for trying to run off or for eating something that she shouldn't that I still love her. I would want to make sure she knows just how much she means to me and how much I love her.

I would tell psycho kitty that it is not okay to try to get milk out of my fingers, ears or chin at 5 o'clock every morning.

 

[mazzarafe]

This is a fun thread! We have a female black lab.

I would have to agree about barking at nothing...I joke about her barking at the neighbors across the street farting and that is what she is barking at.

I also would like to make it very clear to her that my husband is really mine and not hers! She gets so jealous.

But I would have to say the biggest thing to have her understand is that she really needs to keep her head over her water bowl for a few seconds when she is done drinking so she can drip over the bowl and not half of my kitchen floor as she walks away.

I guess I would like to know what she would have to say, but I know it would envolve fighting over DH so it just may be a useless battle.

 

[Beauty]

and then I GUESS I'd tell him that we LIKE him. Maybe.

 

[battricia]

I'd like to ask my cat why she sits at the bedroom door and screams all morning for me to wake up, and then when I finally get up she totally ignores me and wants nothing to do with me. I'd also like to ask her why she doesn't do this until my boyfriend is already awake.

tricia.

 

[monkeyboy]

"Because you can" ...is that true????????

 

[Bumbles]

I'd ask what they thought of Monty dog

 

[Cliff Clavin]

I'd ask whether or not mailmen taste better than other types of people. Is it the material used on our uniforms?

 

[katerkat]

Um, you all don't talk to your pets already?

 

[DISshopkeeper]

Originally posted by katerkat
Um, you all don't talk to your pets already?

Yeah, but I'm sure he doesn't understand because I can see the puzzlement in his eyes. And he's NEVER talked to ME in language that I understand. Well, actually i DO inderstand SOME of what he says. Like that "Take me out" moaning he does. And the OH MY GOD SOMEBODY IS WALKING BY THAT MAY BE A DANGER bark. And when he tosses his empty giant metal bowl around in the kitchen, THAT'S pretty clear.

But I meant a real honest-to-goodness give and take conversation in English!!

 

[The Princess]

I guess since mine is just a puppy I would have to ask why he just can't get the housebreaking thing right.

 

[DISshopkeeper]

Here's Rocky on the landing, so he can keep an eye on the threats that walk by:

 

[KristaTX]

To Bert and Ernie - "Boys, please don't be so insecure. We love you and aren't going to abandon you . . . . So, please - STOP marking your territory in the house!!!!!!"

 

[Dee & Greg]

"Who do you love more, Mommy or Daddy?"


We ask this question all the time, and all we get is a wagging tail for an answer!

This is what happens when you don't have kids and have too much time on your hands!

Dee & Greg:
Proud parents of two mutts: "Serena" and "Lucy"

 

[eeyore74]

Duncan, we will always come home to you, so please stop peeing in the dining room. And for that matter, nowhere else in the house, either. I know I left you the other night, but it was ONE night and I told you I'd be back the next day. Daddy said he gave you extra treats that night, too.

Also, can we get the walking on a leash thing down? It's pretty simple. It's not to hurt you and keep you down, but to keep you safe. My arms are longer now from all your pulling.

I love you! And Daddy loves you, but he's not good at showing it. Be a good baby!

 

[EsmeraldaX]

I would ask him why he feels the need to kick his feet in the air and do a little end zone dance every time he goes to the bathroom.

Anyone else's dog do this???

 

[sn00zn]

I have a German Shepherd and I would love to ask her WHY oh WHY does she carry on like we're all in danger every time a deer wanders quietly through the yard, but when a bear dug noisily into the trash she just sat there with a "huh?" look. I would also explain to her that the kids are not sheep and don't need to be herded by nipping at their shoes.

snoozn

 

[Cruise04]

I'd want to know why she feels like she has to go bonkers when there is either another cat or something that appears to be like a cat outside (she's a cat) and why on God's green earth does she have to nail the window screens up to try and get outside. Why is it so important to get out and get ahold of the other animal??????

 

[stinkerbelle]

Originally posted by EsmeraldaX
I would ask him why he feels the need to kick his feet in the air and do a little end zone dance every time he goes to the bathroom.

LOL - end zone dance!
Yes, Jazz does this too...but only when she poops on the grass (sometimes we have her stick to the gravel driveway.)

I'd like to explain to Jazz the difference between "beige carpet" and "hardwood floors" and how much easier it is to clean her 'accidents' off the hardwood floors...vs. 6 inches the other way onto the carpet which is what she likes to do. (it's infrequent, but still frustrating)

i'd also like to explain to her that there are 2 doors at the rear of the house - one leads outside and has a big window in the middle, the other leads to the pantry where your bones are kept - make sure you know which you are hurling yourself at when you want something so that i don't have to stand outside in the rain/snow/heat for 30 minutes thinking you're gonna poop soon while really you are thinking about chewing on a bone behind door #2.

I'd then point out that there are 4 seating surfaces in our living room - and 2 of which soley belong to her (a papasan and a La-z-boy recliner). We don't sit on your chairs - keep the heck off ours!

i'd like to finally explain to her that no, she does NOT like celery. She throws it up when she eats it so QUIT BEGGING FOR IT! hehe

Finally...I'd like to explain to her that we love her very much and if one day there is a baby in the house that this person is NOT replacing you in our hearts...she's always be our first baby to spoil. (And also - just because this child is down at your level is not a reason to lick it to death! hehehe)