If The Internet Had Been Around In The 1700's...

[Jolly Ole Bert]

...we'd all be in trouble.

This was emailed to me, and I thought it was clever so wanted to share. Pokes fun of the internet age. Parts have been edited and added from input/feedback from DISer's.

It is a dark night. April 18, 1775 to be exact. The British army has begun its move across the Charles River toward Lexington. Famous American historical figure, Paul Revere, quickly gets online to alert the patriots. Here is the discussion/chat log from that fateful night:

P_Revere: "The British are coming! The British are coming!!"

LadyIsabelle75: "What proof do you have?"

P_Revere: "The lantern in the steeple just signaled that the British are coming by water."

PatriotMan20000: "Yes, but what proof do you have to back your claims? What are your sources?"

P_Revere: "For crying out loud, I saw the lantern. It has signaled they are coming by water. What is with you people?? To arms!"
(P_Revere then proceeds to upload a picture from his camera phone as evidence.)

LadyIsabelle75: "FAKE!!!"

PatriotMan20000: "Fake fake, fakety McFakers. Nice try, Revere."

BostonGal23: "Seriously, this guy don't have any sources or anything. There was nothing posted on Snopes about the British coming."

Harbor-n-sailor: "Click my profile for great work-from-home opportunities."

P_Revere: "YOU PEOPLE!!" This is serious. The British army is crossing the river as we speak. Now get to arms, this is NOT a joke! For the future of Liberty....TO ARMS!!"

FrederickBlacksmith: "TROLL ALERT"

MC8209p: "Well, until we have sources, consider this just a rumor. I don't see any British army outside my house, so this guy is probably tying to

P_Revere: "No, people PLEASE! I beg you to believe the words that I say. The British army is approaching at this very second."

Harbor-n-sailor: "Uh huh. Sure. And the sources you have for backing this up would be.....???"

Way2OpenMINDed: "Mr. Revere, in your opinion you say that the British are crossing the river and coming this way. But that is YOUR perspective. From the British army's point of view, you could be the one crossing the river attacking them. Did you ever think about that?"

P_Revere: "Way2OpenMINDed, what the heck?? Are you on drugs, or just plain stupid? People...I beg you to just trust me and make a move in the name of freedom and liberty!"

ColonistLimbaugh: "How do we know this Revere guy isn't one of the British? I haven't seen his birth certificate, nor does he wear a gold flag pin."

Joe_the_Cobbler: " ^ That's right. I even got an email claiming Paul Revere was actually born in Kenya."

MassachusettesHoney: "Epic Fail!"

PatriotCutie21: "Hey everyone! Single lady, 21, looking for a strong male with a nice silky wig who enjoys the outdoors."

PJenkins101: "Want to become a certified blacksmith in less than one month? Click here for details on how you may qualify for a school loan."

P_Revere: "Aaaaaagh! I've had it with you people! Trying to save your skins...that's all I was doing. But go ahead and mock if it makes you feel better. I give up, you're on your own now."

*P_Revere has left chat*

Harbor-n-Sailor: "What a troll"

Joe_The_Cobbler: "Amen to that, HnS."

MC8209p: "Moving on now..."

FrederickBlacksmith: "So did you guys hear that Disney raised their prices to 14 Continentals for tying your horse & carriage in the parking-lots?"

BostonGal23: " That's insane! How come every year they have to....wait a minute....I think I hear footsteps outside my window. brb."

Joe_the_Cobbler: "Come to think of it, I hear footsteps as well outside my house. Is that marching I hear?"

Harbor-n-Sailor: "Hold on. It looks like a bunch of men in red coats marching this....oh crap."

BritishOfficer1: "In the name of the Motherland, this chat room is now CLOSED."

*Chat Locked*

This could very well have been the outcome if Paul Revere's famous midnight warning had not been taken as seriously as it was. So let us all be thankful that the early stages of this great nation were not engulfed by.....the Internet Age!

 

[nmmom95]

 

[hucifer]

Awesome.

 

[tchrrx]

And you know at least one person would say, "I checked snopes. It doesn't show up. It must be fake."

Also, the spelling was way too good for a chat.

Thanks for sharing. That was cute.

 

[Golf4food]

And you know at least one person would say, "I checked snopes. It doesn't show up. It must be fake."

Also, the spelling was way too good for a chat.

Thanks for sharing. That was cute.

4reel.

All he had to do was post a tweet pic using ******* of the lanterns or the British themselves... duh... or maybe a video from his iPhone...

 

[happygirl]

that is beyond funny

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Well I would snopes the whole thing to let you know that the legend of Paul Revere is actually based on a Henry Wadsworth Longfellow poem.

The actual MAJOR rider was named Israel Bissell. Paul Revere did ride but it was only for 19 miles. And Paul never shouted the British are coming.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

I love this, sending it to my dad. He's on a message board not quite as big as this, but you would be surprised at the similarities as far as the nit picking and arguing go.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

And you know at least one person would say, "I checked snopes. It doesn't show up. It must be fake."

Also, the spelling was way too good for a chat.

Thanks for sharing. That was cute.

Agreed, it is missing someone picking on the spelling/grammar. But it's still hilarious!
I did a little tweaking to make it a little more relevant to our board, but the original is awesome! I have bolded what I added.



It is a dark night. April 18, 1775 to be exact. The British army has begun its move across the Charles River toward Lexington. Famous American historical figure, Paul Revere, quickly gets online to alert the patriots. Here is the discussion/chat log from that fateful night:

P_Revere: "The British are coming! The British are coming!!"

LadyIsabelle75: "What proof do you have?"

P_Revere: "The lantern in the steaple just signaled that the British are coming by water."

PatriotMan20000: "Yes, but what proof do you have to back your claims? What are your sources? Do you really think we can take this seriously?You can't even spell "steeple" correctly."

P_Revere: "For crying out loud, I saw the lantern. It has signaled they are coming by water. What is with you people?? To arms!"

LadyIsabelle75: "Nice try, but....FAKE!!!"

BostonGal23: "Seriously, this guy don't have any sources or anything, there is nothing on Snopes"

PatriotMan20000: "Fake fake, fakety McFakers. Nice try, Revere."

Harbor-n-sailor: "Click my profile for great work-from-home opportunities."

P_Revere: "YOU PEOPLE!!" This is serious. The British army is crossing the river as we speak. Now get to arms, this is NOT a joke! For the future of Liberty....TO ARMS!!"

FrederickBlacksmith: "TROLL ALERT"

MC8209p: "Well, until we have sources, consider this just a rumor. I don't see any British army outside my house, so this guy is probably trying to And stop with the ALL CAPS. It's just rude."

P_Revere: "No, people PLEASE! I beg you to believe the words that I say. The British army is approaching at this very second."

Harbor-n-sailor: "Uh huh. Sure. And the sources you have for backing this up would be.....???"

P_Revere: "Aaaaaagh! I've had it with you people!I give up, you're on your own now"

 

[Jolly Ole Bert]

The actual MAJOR rider was named Israel Bissell. Paul Revere did ride but it was only for 19 miles. And Paul never shouted the British are coming.

Ha! That just proves that the P_Revere guy from the chat log had to be trollin'.

And stop with the ALL CAPS. It's just rude."

Love the additions, CaliforniaDreamin

 

[disneyismyname]

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

Ha! That just proves that the P_Revere guy from the chat log had to be trollin'.


Love the additions, CaliforniaDreamin

I love the OP, it was awesome! Shared it with my dad and he got a huge kick out of it.

 

[SaraJayne]

 

[Jolly Ole Bert]

All he had to do was post a tweet pic using ******* of the lanterns or the British themselves... duh... or maybe a video from his iPhone...

Too perfect. I had to update the OP to include this. Couldn't resist.

 

[Sgt Mickey]

 

[bumbershoot]

 

[wdwfan16]

That is too funny.

 

[Jolly Ole Bert]

I'm having fun reading some of your suggestions on how to add to this. I updated the OP with several from your input.

 

[CaliforniaDreamin]

I'm having fun reading some of your suggestions on how to add to this. I updated the OP with several from your input.

I'm getting a huge kick out of making this our own Disboards version! I think your additions are great!

OH, I just thought of a good one. Someone needs to point out a previous post made by P_Revere that contradicts what he posted. Like, "According to your post on 1/23/10, you said the British were allies and now you try and get us all worked up. LOVE the search function." And to end it all, maybe a post at the bottom by P_Revere that says "Mods, please delete".
I spend wayyyy too much time on the Disboards, LMAO.