I want to go back/Mama Guilt

[Iggipolka]

I want to go back to WDW in June and I want to go by myself.

We just got home from a great trip to WDW & a cruise on the Disney Magic. It was awesome and our 10- month old Lillian did great on the trip and loved all of the excitement. It was so neat to see things through her eyes.
That being said, a vacation with a baby is a vastly different vacation than a vacation without a baby. It was still great, but with her nap schedule/sleep schedule and trying to keep her out of the sun, it was not like our previous vacations.

I work 35 hours in three days, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday while my wife is home with the baby and our part-time nanny. When I get home from work, I put the baby to bed and take care of the household crud that needs to get done and most of the time, I also make dinner. My wife is traveling for work Thursday - Sunday and will be gone all of April and half of May. This leaves me as a single parent every weekend and completely on my own for the next two months.

So, as much as I love, love, love, LOVE my daughter, I find myself dreaming of my favorite escape...Disney World. I so want to go to WDW Wed - Sunday at the end of June..all by myself. We have the DVC points available, I have FF miles and we have an annual pass, so it's financially possible. My fantasy resort choices are a studio at the Beach Club, BLT or Wilderness Lodge, but I know that the likelihood of my getting one of those choice resorts at this late date is probably not good. I'll take any studio anywhere and be happy with it.

I told my spouse that I want to go away by myself at the end of June and she thought that would be good for me. She suggested I go to Disney Land, but...the World is calling me. We're going to DL with Lillian and a whole bunch of friends at the end of July anyway. I'm not sure if she'll be as open minded about my going to WDW instead of DL.

My major sticking point is that I have major Mommy guilt about this, because I know how much fun Lil had there and I know I'd miss her. However, I just keep fantasizing about wandering around Epcot, drinking tasty adult beverages in the super hot Florida sunshine and then going back to the pool, or staying out until 3am at MK...or basically doing what I want to do for the first time since...well..since well before Lillian was born.

Selfish? Yup. Absolutely.

So..I'm looking for your thoughts & opinions, for and against. Think I should throw caution to the wind and go for it?

 

[kaligal]

If you cannot go without the dreaded shame you feel, then just stay home. No point to going and being all mopey about it.

I see no reason you shouldn't go, but it's really all about how you feel.

 

[WizardLarz]

Just Go! Your DW approves so go! You're gonna do DL with family & friends a month later so GO!

WE THE FARIES OF THE DISBOARDS GIVE YOU OUR BLESSING TO GO!

 

[Cherinva]

Well....if your wife is ok with it, then I say GO. There's nothing wrong with doing something selfish for yourself, once in awhile.

 

[Iggipolka]

WE THE FARIES OF THE DISBOARDS GIVE YOU OUR BLESSING TO GO!

Heh..Yeay DisBoard Faries who get the strong pull of WDW! I know I'm going to miss Lil, but no way would I be "mopey" at Disney World. I so need this.
I think I'll have a conversation with my wife this weekend and then start planning my solo trip to the World!

 

[TSWJan78]

Would you be able to bring someone with you to stay and do things with Lilly while you did what you wanted to do... then you had as much alone time as you wanted but she was still there with you?

 

[wishspirit]

If you are thinking of going late June, we are having a meet on the 26th, and we'd love to see you!

To convince you so far we have Kevin, John and Kathy confirmed to come!

 

[Disney Khi]

I totally understand your desire to get out and feel like you did pre-baby. I am a SAHM to our little one and since she was born my life has turned upside down. The only thing is, I don't know if you can ever get that pre-baby feeling back. I don't think it is so much about guilt that she is not there having fun; I wonder if you would just plain miss her and not have as much fun as you imagine. The idea of doing things the same way as it was pre-baby is appealing, but I don't know if you can ever really go back.

I'm not trying to be negative, but this is just something I have thought about for myself. Maybe you won't feel this way at all and I hope you go and have lots of fun. I definitely don't think you should feel guilty at all!!!

 

[crazy4stitch]

Oh yeah, the mama guilt, I know it well, I am a widow with only one left still at home, she is 13, both sets of grandparents are gone so I don't get much alone time. I dream of the day (when my youngest is 18) that I can (and will) book my very first alone vacation. Where will I go do you ask?? Epcot's Food and Wine of course! I have never made it to food and wine, and even though we have been to Disney many times, I never get to spend as much time in the World showcase as I would like to. I could spend several days just wandering through the different countries. I also plan to park my backside in a primo spot so I can watch both the light parade and wishes fireworks, even if it means sitting there for a couple of hours. My kids have never had the patience to wait before. Will there be guilt, oh sure, but I think I can plow my way through it!

Have a great time, everyone deserves a little me time.

 

[chrisw127]

I did it and felt guilty for a few hours. Then I called home and my husband was confused about the casserole I left for him (the one with simple instructions attached to the dish) and the kids were yelling in the background and all of the sudden, my connection went out. I didn't have anymore guilt for the rest of the trip. If it helps, just take a long weekend. Three days away from my three was incredibly restoring.

 

[DrMomof3]

Do it! Definitely do it! I'm a working mom with 3 little ones and I only wish I had learned to take a little more time for myself sooner. It will make you a better parent because you will be happier and more relaxed! Take some time for yourself!!!!

Amanda

 

[rlduvall]

I have taken 2 solo trips to WDW - and 1 to DL, but I was already there on business. Now, my DS is no longer a baby, he'll be 11 in July, but I truly didn't have any guilt about it. My DH is a great father and he has no problem with me having alone time. [other than him seeing the Cougar thread on here for the December DISapalooza event took some explaining ] In fact, he usually misses me so much, that I am Queen Bee for at least a week when I get home. Then things go back to the way they were before. All this being said, I always plan at least one family vacation a year before I even consider a solo trip.

 

[Iggipolka]

If you are thinking of going late June, we are having a meet on the 26th, and we'd love to see you!

To convince you so far we have Kevin, John and Kathy confirmed to come!

OH! Oh man...ok..now I really really want to do this. I was thinking about going the 22nd - 27th, so I would be able to make the meet! I'm a big member of the Kathy fan club.

I know the Mama guilt will be present. As Disney Khi said, there's no way to completely get rid of the Mama Guilt. I feel guilty when I take an hour to go get my nails done and leave Lillian with my spouse! I think Mama Guilt comes with all of the postpartum hormones and just never leaves.

The hard part is going to be knowing how much she grows and changes in a week and that I'm going to be missing those changes. However, probably after spending April & May as a single parent, I'm going to have lots of good events stored up in my head. heh

Bringing someone with me to watch Lil isn't an option because it still wouldn't be a break for me. I'd be even more preoccupied about her and one of the things I am in so need of...is sleep! I Looooong to sleep through an entire night for a few nights in a row.

So now, the obsessive checking of flights has started and Monday, I'm going to call MS and see if there are rooms available. I really hope this works out. Thanks for the encouragement and also for the reality checks that this may not be the fantasy trip I think it may be.

 

[Iggipolka]

SQUEEEEE!!! Just talked to my wife and after a little bit of pouting, she said "Yes! Go and have fun!"

I found the flights I want and put them on hold. Now I just have to wait the incredibly long time until DVC MS opens on Monday morning to see if I can get a place to stay on such short notice. WOOHOO!
I'm going to Disney World!

 

[wishspirit]

SQUEEEEE!!! Just talked to my wife and after a little bit of pouting, she said "Yes! Go and have fun!"

I found the flights I want and put them on hold. Now I just have to wait the incredibly long time until DVC MS opens on Monday morning to see if I can get a place to stay on such short notice. WOOHOO!
I'm going to Disney World!

I am glad you decided to go for it! Yes, you will more than likely have mommy guilt, but having some time alone, and some proper sleep, will certainly help you be a better parent!

Can't wait to meet you!

 

[rotlex]

More power to you if you can handle it, but, since you were asking for opinions, my personal one would be no way I would do it. 99.9% of the joy I get while being in WDW is from being there WITH my family. I can't even imagine walking around the happiest place on earth, without my loved ones.

Every site, sound and smell I would come across, would make me think how much better it would be with my wife and kids along. Again, this is just me, BUT, a few years ago, I had to go to Miami for a business trip. I thought, man, this is going to be great. I'll be here 5 days, get to do what I want, from the beach, to the night life, to anything else. Turned out I spent most of my time wishing my wife was there with me to actually enjoy that free time.

Eh, anyway, just because I wouldn't have a good time, doesn't mean someone else wouldn't, just that I couldn't understand how you could.

 

[Iggipolka]

Thanks Steve for your response. Prior to Lillian being born, I would take a week vacation by myself on my birthday every year. I usually would take a cruise and spend the week sitting by the pool reading a book and drinking adult beverages. I missed my wife and sure, there were many moments where I thought about how much I wanted to share an experience with her. I'm anticipating that there will be moments on my upcoming trip that I'll miss my wife and Lillian and think about how they'd react to something or wish that I could share it with them.

There's also the balance that I travel very well by myself and really enjoy being in the presence of only my company.

If I don't go to WDW, I think I'll just take an over night someplace close by, just so I can get some sleep and have a day to chill.

Still want to go to WDW though.

 

[Iggipolka]

I'm sure ya all are so bored with my little drama, but yet I feel compelled to keep writing about it here. heh

A new little wrinkle just came into play today. My brother, sister-in-law and their two girls (ages 7 & 11) called and said they are going to be at the Beach Club August 28 - September 6th and they'd love for us to join them.

I took Lil to WDW with them last August when she was 3 months old and while it was a challenging trip, it was nice to see my brother & his family and have help with the baby. I'm a little worried about how Lil will do in the heat, but we managed last time and she will be much sturdier this year and we can use sunblock on her which we couldn't do last year.

So...I may postpone (reluctantly) my solo trip and now my wife, Lil and I may join my brother & family at WDW at the end of August. I'm happy and sad about this at the same time. One of these days, I'm going to get to WDW for a solo trip.

 

[Cherinva]

I'm sure ya all are so bored with my little drama, but yet I feel compelled to keep writing about it here. heh

A new little wrinkle just came into play today. My brother, sister-in-law and their two girls (ages 7 & 11) called and said they are going to be at the Beach Club August 28 - September 6th and they'd love for us to join them.

I took Lil to WDW with them last August when she was 3 months old and while it was a challenging trip, it was nice to see my brother & his family and have help with the baby. I'm a little worried about how Lil will do in the heat, but we managed last time and she will be much sturdier this year and we can use sunblock on her which we couldn't do last year.

So...I may postpone (reluctantly) my solo trip and now my wife, Lil and I may join my brother & family at WDW at the end of August. I'm happy and sad about this at the same time. One of these days, I'm going to get to WDW for a solo trip.

All things happen for a reason...enjoy the time with your family and have a great time.

 

[PrincessBetsy]

I'm sure ya all are so bored with my little drama, but yet I feel compelled to keep writing about it here. heh

A new little wrinkle just came into play today. My brother, sister-in-law and their two girls (ages 7 & 11) called and said they are going to be at the Beach Club August 28 - September 6th and they'd love for us to join them.

I took Lil to WDW with them last August when she was 3 months old and while it was a challenging trip, it was nice to see my brother & his family and have help with the baby. I'm a little worried about how Lil will do in the heat, but we managed last time and she will be much sturdier this year and we can use sunblock on her which we couldn't do last year.

So...I may postpone (reluctantly) my solo trip and now my wife, Lil and I may join my brother & family at WDW at the end of August. I'm happy and sad about this at the same time. One of these days, I'm going to get to WDW for a solo trip.

Ah, no worries! Whether you end up going solo or with your family you are still going to WDW and I'm sure you will have an amazing time! Good luck!