I have been posting on this board for a while. I usually hang out on the Universal/IOA sections because I know those parks more. Anywho, I have recently been somewhat mean and revenging towards people and I just wanted to apologize for it. I guess I have felt so much rejection in my life that I am so used to it, so I think therefore everyone is out to get me.
About 2 years ago I had a really rough time with my friend basically realizing I was too weird for them. I basically spent a lot of time alone. When you're alone, a lot of really crazy and distorted thoughts cross your mind.
**If you're not a Religious person don't read any further**
I was raised Catholic and spent all of elementary school, middle school and high school going to Church. Once I got to college, I didn't want to go, because I honestly hated it. My parents were respectful of that, knowing I had to make my own decisions in life. Anywho, fast forward to 2 years ago where I felt really alone, and I had developed a dark side to myself.
**Scary Moments Follow**
I remember VIVIDLY 2 distinct dreams. I remember falling asleep one night in my bed, just like normal. I remember waking up in the middle of the night, and looking around my room, and everything looked completely normal. Now, I don't know if it was a dream, or if I actually woke up. Anywho, I casually looked to my door, and standing there was a tall, about 8 foot tall dark figure. It resembled a human wearing a dark cloak and I could not see its face. I stared at it for a good second before my body reacted to it. I reacted, jolting and very very scared. The image vanished.
Now I don't know if it was me waking up from a dream, or if there was something actually there. I had another dream shortly after that... I think maybe a week later, where the same thing happened. I woke up, my room looked completely normal and looked at the foot of my bed, and the face was the foot of my bed. Same thing, where I startled myself and either I woke up or was awake the whole time. Needless to say, I couldn't sleep after those past two times, and cried myself calm again.
Anywho, I recently have been having a really good week, and my girlfriend who is very religious has been seeing me a lot, and I think the good that God has given her has been having its affect on me too. I feel like something was feeding off the fear and anger that I had 2 years ago, and maybe was trying to get me to follow it. I don't know, but those 2 experiences were the scariest I've ever had in my life. Try to imagine the most frightened you've ever been in your life, and feel that intensity and you're able to view the fear in front of your face. You feel like you're about to die. I was in disbelief when I saw those 2 images. It's like, I was too frozen to even move. It was a full 1 or 2 seconds of no movement on my part before my body reacted and the images vanished (or I woke up... I still can't tell which one it was).
I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I don't want to live like that anymore. I feel like part of it was acting through me. My guess is that it knew I was vulnerable and would use my weaknesses against me. For anyone I've hurt, I'm sorry. I know this is only online, but I love posting on here, and I do it often.
This experience, as well as the one 2 years ago has shown me that there is much more to our life than just us. Our purpose on this Earth is much more amazing than anything we could possibly imagine.
About 2 years ago I had a really rough time with my friend basically realizing I was too weird for them. I basically spent a lot of time alone. When you're alone, a lot of really crazy and distorted thoughts cross your mind.
**If you're not a Religious person don't read any further**
I was raised Catholic and spent all of elementary school, middle school and high school going to Church. Once I got to college, I didn't want to go, because I honestly hated it. My parents were respectful of that, knowing I had to make my own decisions in life. Anywho, fast forward to 2 years ago where I felt really alone, and I had developed a dark side to myself.
**Scary Moments Follow**
I remember VIVIDLY 2 distinct dreams. I remember falling asleep one night in my bed, just like normal. I remember waking up in the middle of the night, and looking around my room, and everything looked completely normal. Now, I don't know if it was a dream, or if I actually woke up. Anywho, I casually looked to my door, and standing there was a tall, about 8 foot tall dark figure. It resembled a human wearing a dark cloak and I could not see its face. I stared at it for a good second before my body reacted to it. I reacted, jolting and very very scared. The image vanished.
Now I don't know if it was me waking up from a dream, or if there was something actually there. I had another dream shortly after that... I think maybe a week later, where the same thing happened. I woke up, my room looked completely normal and looked at the foot of my bed, and the face was the foot of my bed. Same thing, where I startled myself and either I woke up or was awake the whole time. Needless to say, I couldn't sleep after those past two times, and cried myself calm again.
Anywho, I recently have been having a really good week, and my girlfriend who is very religious has been seeing me a lot, and I think the good that God has given her has been having its affect on me too. I feel like something was feeding off the fear and anger that I had 2 years ago, and maybe was trying to get me to follow it. I don't know, but those 2 experiences were the scariest I've ever had in my life. Try to imagine the most frightened you've ever been in your life, and feel that intensity and you're able to view the fear in front of your face. You feel like you're about to die. I was in disbelief when I saw those 2 images. It's like, I was too frozen to even move. It was a full 1 or 2 seconds of no movement on my part before my body reacted and the images vanished (or I woke up... I still can't tell which one it was).
I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I don't want to live like that anymore. I feel like part of it was acting through me. My guess is that it knew I was vulnerable and would use my weaknesses against me. For anyone I've hurt, I'm sorry. I know this is only online, but I love posting on here, and I do it often.
This experience, as well as the one 2 years ago has shown me that there is much more to our life than just us. Our purpose on this Earth is much more amazing than anything we could possibly imagine.
