I say MIL is a thief - DH says indian giver - what do you think?

[lovesmurfs]

Not the hill I'd want to die on, so I wouldn't say anything. I would put a lock on the storage area, and not let her be unsupervised in the house again.

....and I'd be ready to field snide comments from her as DS opens his gift(s) from her for his bday.

 

[missj1975]

If she brings it up, I would stick to the fact that she went snooping thru your belongings. First of all, that's just wrong. Period. Secondly, it's just like eavesdropping -- guess what, you might find out something you would rather not have known, so if you do, that's your problem.

And I would probably nix the overnight visits bec I am not going to have someone snooping my house. or....better yet, I'd plant some very interesting items for her to find while snooping. Very interesting.

Then again, I'm the daughter of a couple who got mad at a SIL for snooping in the medicine cabinet. They confronted her, she denied it, even her dh called her on it bec she talked to him about what she'd found. So my father slightly pulled the cabinet out of the wall and drilled a hole in it. He then taped it shut and filled the cabinet with marbles. Put it back into the wall, took the tape off, told all of us not to touch it. SIL comes over that night, goes to the bathroom and 2 seconds later....the sound of marbles falling all over. That put an end to her snooping.

Your dad is brilliant. What did the SIL say after that incident?

 

[missj1975]

It's not like she took your mail or something of real value or importance.. Just toys she had purchased to begin with.. Small stuff..

I'd let it go.. Not worth the battle (nor the harsh "titles")..

Stealing is still stealing no matter the value of the item taken without permission. Yep, the MIL is a thief but she is family so it is best just to ignore it and keep an eye on her.

 

[BoyLovesBuzz]

Just a bit of trivia, "Indian giver" came from the fact that the US government gave things to Native Americans and took them back....it's not really derogatory towards Native Americans (other than if they find it insulting to be called Indians.)
And to the OP, your mother in law is a snoopy thief as someone else said but I'd let it go.

But isn't that derogatiory towards cartoon beagles?



I would fill up my car full of crap and drop it on her front porch.

 

[sweetandsassyfl]

But isn't that derogatiory towards cartoon beagles?



I would fill up my car full of crap and drop it on her front porch.

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

I'm with the "let it go" crowd. It was annoying but it was over a small amount of value- why ruin your relationship over something small. Of course, she was in the wrong but be the bigger person here.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

But isn't that derogatiory towards cartoon beagles?



I would fill up my car full of crap and drop it on her front porch.

 

[MosMom]

When she comes to visit next, leave this book on the coffee table...

If she is such a snoop, she is sure to see it.

 

[C.Ann]

I'm with the "let it go" crowd. It was annoying but it was over a small amount of value- why ruin your relationship over something small. Of course, she was in the wrong but be the bigger person here.

-----------------

Exactly.. Compared to some of the MIL issues I've read on here, something like this is pretty insignificant..

 

[JR6ooo4]

Do I have this correct:

She gave gifts
took back some of the gifts
then gave them again.

this sounds like the typical crazy parent/in-laws type of situation comedy. take notes and sell the script to a network.

Mikeeee

 

[Wishing on a star]

1. She IS a theif... she actually went thru your things!!!
It is in no way acceptable, under any stretch of the imagination, for her to do this.

2. Have you happened to notice anything else that seems to have gone missing?

3. For the moment, if your husband wants to 'let it go' you will have to let it go. It is your husband's mother. And, HE should handle these things with his mother, not you.

I have said MANY times that there are no such things as inlaw issues... only 'marriage' issues.

You need to let your husband know, under no uncertain terms, that his mother has violated your personal boundaries, and that simply can not happen again...

My advice...
First, end the overnight visits... do not enable her to violate your home and your privacy. It is YOUR house... YOU have as much say as your husband.

Second, get some LOCKS.

YOU NEED TO HAVE SOME SERIOUS DISCUSSIONS WITH YOUR HUSBAND.

 

[Wishing on a star]

Me again...

PS: I have had a mother, and a MIL, who just love to do as your MIL, and dump all kinds of stuff, from unwanted dollar store gifts to their old junk, on us....

We would come home from MIL's on Sunday evenings, and I would have SO much to do... catch up on laundry for the week, DS' homework, etc... and there would be this pile of crap to go thru... I told my DH that I did not appreciate our home being considered as a garbage can... That I did not have time to go thru it. That either he would go thu it for any slight chance of something (like coupons out of a huge pile of MIL's junk mail) and then haul it all off with the trash... Or I would simply heave it!

I 'get' parent's/inlaws who like to be controlling by dumping 'stuff'.

Yep, it can be an issue!

 

[MN Vikings Fan]

"Indian giver?" Isn't there a better phrase?

I agree. Please give it some consideration.

 

[LindaG4458]

Parent and inlaws who don't understand boundaries is something that really makes me mad!

I vote for the lock on the storage closet in the new house. If asked, tell her that you are worried that your son might get hurt if he went into the closet. He could fall or have something fall onto him.

If DH didn't go for the lock I'd tell him that, next time she snoops, I'd be mad at HIM for not preventing it!

 

[hentob]

1. She IS a theif... she actually went thru your things!!!
It is in no way acceptable, under any stretch of the imagination, for her to do this.

I agree 100%

Plus this woman has THE NERVE to cop an attitude after stealing from your house

 

[OceanAnnie]

Me again...

PS: I have had a mother, and a MIL, who just love to do as your MIL, and dump all kinds of stuff, from unwanted dollar store gifts to thier old junk, on us....

We would come home from MIL's on Sunday evenings, and I would have SO much to do... catch up on laundry for the week, DS' homework, etc... and there would be this pile of crap to go thru... I told my DH that I did not appreciate our home being considered as a garbage can... That I did not have time to go thru it. That either he would go thu it for any slight chance of something (like coupons out of a huge pile of MIL's junk mail) and then haul it all off with the trash... Or I would simply heave it!

I 'get' parent's/inlaws who like to be controlling by dumping 'stuff'.

Yep, it can be an issue!

I thought I was the only one that went through that! I had an infant and a toddler and was innundated with crap every week. Crap from all sources, bags and bags of it every week. I.had.no.time.for.it.

I did resent it. My hormones resented it. I also spoke to my DH about it. Enough said.

ETA- OP, the giving, taking, re-giving from your MIL? Strange. I'd find a new storage place, like the attic. I'd also be careful where I put my important papers. I would be very leary of someone that didn't respect our privacy. I'd be in shut down/security mode. I don't think I'd bring it up to her. If she brings it up to you, well I don't know what I'd say. I think I'd say, "You went through our bags and took our son's stuff home? I don't understand.". And let her explain herself. I imagine it would be some squirming going on and maybe you'd nip it in the bud. But I wouldn't count on it. That was some bold stuff she did!!!

 

[arminnie]

Open up a Word document (or processor of choice). Type up a banner in big letters:

You are the
nosiest *&$%&)*^
@%*&@$#^&
in the world!!!
Get out of my stuff!
​

Print lots of copies and place them strategically in all of your boxes. Don't say a word.​

 

[mickeymedic]

Save your MIL some work the next time she comes over. Gather up things that she gave you but you are now planning to store. Place them in a bag and hand it to her when she comes for her next visit. Politely explain that you wanted to save her the trouble of going though your storage area. It is dark, cluttered and you are afraid she might hurt herself. See...you can be the thoughtful DIL.

 

[OceanAnnie]

Save your MIL some work the next time she comes over. Gather up things that she gave you but you are now planning to store. Place them in a bag and hand it to her when she comes for her next visit. Politely explain that you wanted to save her the trouble of going though your storage area. It is dark, cluttered and you are afraid she might hurt herself. See...you can be the thoughtful DIL.

You are too much!!! That is great!

 

[Wishing on a star]

Open up a Word document (or processor of choice). Type up a banner in big letters:

You are the
nosiest *&$%&)*^
@%*&@$#^&
in the world!!!
Get out of my stuff!
​

Print lots of copies and place them strategically in all of your boxes. Don't say a word.​