I prevented exhubby from jail -long post-need to vent

[Brer_Papa]

Typically, any person that had 20 years service is an attractive applicant fo a prospective employer...the prospective employer realizes that the plant closing was beyond the applicant's control and also understands that after 20 years, the applicant ha the type of work ethics that they desire in a person they hire...

the problem in Erie is the number of applicant's with good work ethics...the bulk of the 800+ people displaced at IP (Hammermill) are finishing their TRA schooling and are seeking jobs...

Talk to your EX-DH....I am willing to take a leap of blind faith in recognition of his 20 years........

if he is interested in Erie Coke...and has the skills they are looking for...I will call Mr. Crane (owner) and Mr. Bloom (Exec.VP) in Tonawanda NY and put in a word...

If it's PHB he is interested in...where they have received over a 1000 applications according to HR Manager Mr. Hancock....I will call Mr. Hilbert (owner)...

The same applies to the other places I mentioned...Carlisle may hire him the quickest...if not...2 calls...one to Ms. Oleasnik in Lake City...and one to Mr. Durbin - Corporate HR in Chardon OH....
Erie Forge is looking for machinists....a call to Mr. Novelli - COO or one to Mr. Spang- Corprate HR ...alerting them to his application is doable...

let me know if there is any interest....

edited to add: i don't know anyone at Curtze...a trucking company i think....but i am sure i know somebody that knows somebody at Curtze....that might take me a few phone calls to find that somebody....

 

[phorsenuf]

I too think you did the right thing. If he's having a hard time now getting a job (even tho he may not be activly looking) what happens when he does pull things together and now he has a criminal record. I don't think that will be very attractive to a prospective employer.
You gave him a break and I'm sure he appreciates it. He just needs to realize tho you may not always be so forgiving. If you haven't already, you may want to tell him that was his one "free pass".

 

[hockeymom7691]

Originally posted by phorsenuf
If you haven't already, you may want to tell him that was his one "free pass".

Phorsenuf - I made that very very clear to him. Thanks!!

Brer_Papa - I'm going to send you a PM

 

[KristaTX]

Hey, Annette . No advice from me, but just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you and praying for you.

Krista

 

[hockeymom7691]

Originally posted by skporter
Hey, Annette . No advice from me, but just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you and praying for you.

Krista

Hi Krista, thanks for the hug & thoughts!!! How was your trip? I'm sure the weather was much warmer than Dec!!

 

[Deb in IA]

I think you made the right decision as well.

Look at it this way: What good would it have done to have your ex thrown into jail for the $600?

You still would not have the money.

You said he is a good father to your son, and does spend time with him. He won't be able to spend time with Bo when he's in jail.

Your son would be heartbroken.

And your ex would resent you all the more for putting him in jail.

Best wishes, hockeymom . . .

 

[KristaTX]

Annette - Our trip was great, and the weather was warm without being too hot. Mid 80's - just right for me. And I really did think of you and your mom the first night when we watched Illuminations from between Germany and Italy. We could see Wishes going on at the same time - it brought happy tears to my eyes .

Krista

 

[BibbidyBobbidyBoo]

Well I'm just going to step out of this thread- since if my comments don't fit the mold of everyone else's (ie: I don't agree that it's brave and mature to let father's not be responsible for the offspring they put into this world- and that means financially also... not just visiting) then I'm considered just posting "rants".

*rolling my eyes*

Let's just all keep paying for all the deadbeats who don't think they should support their children and have ex-spouses who allow them to get away with it. That sounds like a lovely mature way to handle things.

Let's blame the custodial parent for putting them in jail by holding them responsible financially (also)- instead of putting the blame on the person WHO'S FAULT IT IS- the parent who opted not to take financial responsibility for their child. Let's raise children to believe it's okay to not be responsible for your children... long as you visit and have a relationship with them that's all that matters- let's raise them to think only ONE parent should have to be responsible financially.. well in most cases that one parent and then the rest of the taxpayers supporting the child.

Sounds great to me.
Peace out.

 

[Deb in IA]

So, Bibbidy, you think the taxpayers should support the child as well as the non-custodial parent that has been thrown into jail too?

 

[jrydberg]

I guess I have a little different perspective on this being a divorced dad with primary custody of my daughter. Basically, in order to guarantee that I get custody of my daughter, I agreed to waive child support. I had no problem doing this as I know I can take care of her on my own. It was the right thing to do in my situation.

I guess my point is, circumstances are different in every divorce. As long as you're confident that the $600 is not necessary to you and your son, it's no one's business but yours. Sounds to me like you already know that it was the right thing to do in your particular situation.

 

[MICKEY88]

I think you did a wonderful thing, it sounds like he is very depressed,

many men get depressed when losing a longterm job,,,the loss of his parents appears to have deepened his depression, going to jail would not have helped, most likely would have made his depression worse...

I am not in favor of deadbeat parents,,,but I also don't like the double standard, if a woman loses a parent and becomes depressed, society feels for her and understands, yet if a man does the same, he's supposed to get over it and get on with his life


you made the best choice for your son, you are a good woman..

hopefully he will find the help he needs,, get back on his feet and remember, the helping hand you gave him...

I hope all works out for both of you

 

[arminnie]

Originally posted by Ragmop
My BIL suffers from depression & poor self image and has been out of work for 2 years.Unfortunately there is nothing other people can do to make a person "want" to pound the pavements and look for work. He gave up right in the beginning and I doubt he will ever work.

I have a friend who got laid off from a really, really good job over 5 years ago. She got a big severance (18 months of a very good salary) and then cashed out all of her 401K. She also got an inheritance. She has now been out of work for over 5 years and I don't know how she is ever going to get a job when she doesn't look. She is destitute and on food stamps but like Ragmop's BIL - gave up right in the beginning. I tried to help with referrals, ideas, etc for years, but now I have moved away and do not have much contact beyond on email every six months. It's really sad when someone is that self destructive.