I need to vent (Long)

[onecoolmama]

I am really sorry. I try to keep these boards fun, but I need to get this out to a 3rd party. Everyone around me is too invovled.


I am 7 months pregnant with my 3rd child. I have a 3yo and a 1yo..who are about to turn 4 and 2.

DH has interveiwed for a positon in a city 12 hours away. It is a wonderful opportunity and we would be crazy not to take it. Except for the fact that we would not be eligable for the insurance until two weeks before I deliverd. Now, to be honest, I can handle that. The other problem is, they are not making a decision for another two weeks. Which means we would not be eligable for the insurance until after I delivered.

I also need to register my kids for preschool, find a place to live, and move. Let alone planning for a new baby.

So, I explained to my DH that we really couldnt wait that long and that we needed to set a date for ourselves. He said we have to do whatever it is to take this job if he gets it.

Now, if he got the job tomorrow, fine I am 100% supportive. But they told him today it would be at least another week if not two.

So, I am really stressed out and I am very sorry to pour my problems onto the boards, but like I said I needed a 3rd party to listen instead of all of those directly invovled.

 

[mrsv98]

With the insurance portability laws, you should have continupus coverage even if you have to pay COBRA a month or two. Check with your DH's current or furture HR depts, they should be able to give you the info you need.

Here is a too! 3 kids under 5 yo? You need one!

 

[oogieboogie]

Hang in there, OCM. It'll all work out for the best. I would check COBRA so you can get continuous coverage.



Vent all you want, we're here to listen.

 

[MommyBoo!]

Don't have any advice, just wanted to say that I hope everything works out great. And try not to stress too much.

 

[HopperFan]

I would carry the COBRA either way to completely clear your delivery time. I have handled insurance at two companies and both considered pregnancy a pre-existing condition and would not cover you if you came on new. I wouldn't chance that unless I had in writing that this company was willing to pay your expenses should the insurance kick it.

Other than that, hopefully all is happening for the right reasons and things will fall in place. Our last move was full of stress, separation and not the best in transitions. Every day I was questioning what we were doing, and how I was going to do all this. But in the long run it was the best thing that could have happened to us !

 

[onecoolmama]

I am able to do cobra..however I will not be covered in the other city. I have to deliver here. My mom will have to go to my kids and get them to and from school, in the new city. So, I have no one to go into the delivery room with me. I dont want to change cities then pull my kids out of school. That is way too many changes for them at one time. I guess I can do that, I am just not looking forward to delivering by myself.

I will have DH check tomorrow to make sure I am covered. He has switched jobs before while I am pregnant, but the insurance companies have always covered me. I will have him check tomorrow. Thanks for informing me of that, I have never had an expirience that a compnay wouldnt cover me.



And thanks for listening. I really appriciate it

 

[llij]

Just wanted to send good wishes your way! I hope that everything works out well for you and that end up having someone with you when you deliver your baby.

 

[StephMK]

Sending lots of hugs to you now!! No wonder you're stressed, short on time with no set place to nest. Is there any way your mom can come stay w/you & the kids & let hubby move ahead of the rest of the family, then she helps you travel out to hubby after the baby is here?

Just do what you can, the rest will fall into place in time.

Where would you be headed? I'm in NoVA & jealous you get to move away. Take care & best wishes.

 

[eeyore kelly]

Changing jobs, moving, and switching insurance is never fun. Sending you pixie dust.

 

[moinab]

I would strongly recommend you hire a doula (professional labor assistant). When I had DD, my doula was there for me during labor and delivery, and assisted me post-partum. We didn't have anyone to watch our 2 1/2 year old DS, so when hard labor kicked in, I sent DH and DS home. The minute DD was born, Patti called DH, and they were back with me within 10 minutes. It all worked out beautifully! She was incredibly supportive and helpful (much more so than DH was during DS's birth ) Every woman should have a doula for labor, delivery, and post-partum, IMHO.

My DH, who has an MBA in finance and lots of sales experience, has been searching for a job since he was laid off, last Halloween. He's had several temp jobs, and waits tables at night, but can't find anything even remotely decent. It's a tough market out there, so if your DH has a good opportunity, even if it initially causes some hardship, it may be worth it. Trust me, a year of being out of work/underemployed takes a very heavy toll.

 

[Barb D]

You've got way too many things going on at the same time! You need to eliminate some of them. I know you don't like things being up in the air, so just accept the fact that some things aren't going to change right away. How about if you and the kids just stay put, no matter what, until after the baby is born? Stay in your same house, let Grandma come to you where you are, keep your insurance through COBRA, stick with your familiar doctors, etc. Let DH do the traveling back and forth. Then, after the baby is born, you and the kids move to the new city. The kids can wait for preschool until the move; just keep them home with you until then if you don't want them changing schools part way through. Maybe you could pick a preschool there, find out how they do things, and do some preschooly things at home. IMHO, it will be less traumatic for them to be with you and miss a couple of months of preschool than to be separated from you until after the baby is born.

 

[liznboys]

I don't have any advice, but just wanted to say good luck with everything. I had my 3rd little one in March, and I know how crazy it can be, let alone worrying about a move and insurance on top of it!! I'm sure everything will work out. Hang in there!!!

 

[laceemouse]

I agree with Barb, preschool is not required for anyone, and most kids don't even do it as young as your second one is. We moved 1200 miles 5 years age (from Florida to here.) My oldest were starting 3rd and 1st grade, my son was 4 and my baby not quite 2. They all did FINE and we actually enjoyed the adventure. Now is the time for you TO move, and a good job is worth it IMHO. It gets more tricky as the kids get older, right now mommy and daddy are the most important thing to your little ones. My oldest 2 are now in Jr. High and my husband is interviewing with Microsoft. The job would start here, but may require a move sometime down the road. My oldest DD is one year away from high school, but we will just cross that bridge IF we get to it. Try to relax....Pixie Dust from Lacee

 

[maxie]

Wow that must be so stressful! Hope the advice of the other DISers came in handy. That is a lot on your shoulders for the last trimester of pregnancy (and with 2 toddlers!). I'm sending you some pixie dust too!!

Guess I now realize how lucky we Canadians are not to have to worry about health insurance!!

 

[mrskay9]

I can't comment much on the moving and stuff, but just wanted to add that we switched insurances right before I delivered too.

I was told by blue cross that my employer, not my husband's was responsible for payment. they said pregnancy isn't like others where its a "pre-existing condition" and would not be covered. Just fyi and I know sometimes you can get different answers at the same company.... but just keep asking.

It can work out. I'll hope for you that it does somehow.

hugs

 

[Kendra17]

My husband lost his job, we found out i was pregnant, he found a job 12 hours away, we sold our house, and bought a house, and had the baby. All this happened within 7 months.

The only thing I can add is this: I called 3 ob/gyns when we moved here, and the third one took me as a patient--only after I practically swore up and down that I had great prenatal care and that I was healthy. (By phone, obviously after I made the appointment, my records were transfered. But, I had a difficult time getting an appointment. Not many obgyns want to start seeing you that late in the pregnancy.) We had a month before the new insurance started, but I still had the old insurance for a full month, too. . so, had an emergency ocurred, I'd be covered.

So, try to find an OB before you move.

Definitely pick up the cobra for the time you need. Actually, if you don't need an appointment for that time, you don't have to purchase the cobra--which is often almost prohibitively expensive. You have a certain amount of time to pick it up--I think 16 weeks or so. For instance, if you are in the new city and your new insurance hasn't started, and you don't need a routine appointment during that time, you don't need to pay for the cobra just in case an emergency happens. If, however, an emergency DOES happen, you can get treated, and THEN, after the emergency occurs, purchase the cobra retroactively to cover the expenses. Read the cobra letter or ask human resources.

Good luck to you. We still haven't met too many people here in Nashville. If this is where you're moving, give me a pm!

p.s. the baby is now 13 months!

 

[sters]

Originally posted by moinab

My DH, who has an MBA in finance and lots of sales experience, has been searching for a job since he was laid off, last Halloween. He's had several temp jobs, and waits tables at night, but can't find anything even remotely decent. It's a tough market out there, so if your DH has a good opportunity, even if it initially causes some hardship, it may be worth it. Trust me, a year of being out of work/underemployed takes a very heavy toll.

Ditto! Hubby's been out of work also since Halloween, with lots of networking and project management experience. Not even a temporary job. Secure the job and insurance first and the rest will all fall into place. I also have 3 children close together, so I know what you are experiencing. This too shall pass.

 

[thekimber]

You've gotten lots of great advice here about COBRA and trying not to stress about things we can't control. I wanted to give you another tidbit, though. If hubby does get job & insurance coverage, you don't have to worry about pregnancy being a "pre-existing condition." Here is the quote from the HIPAA website:

"Can a preexisting condition exclusion be applied to my coverage because I am pregnant?

"No. Pregnancy can never be subject to a preexisting condition exclusion in group health plans."

Here is the link:
http://www.cms.hhs.gov/hipaa/online...ConditionExclusions_content.asp?record=430151

I hope things smooth out for you!