I need to vent-is that ok?

[I'm a Divaaaaa]

And it's a shame.
Your apperance shouldn't affect the decision on a job interview,school interview,etc.


Remember people,it's what's on the inside that counts.

I don't think it is necessarily a bad thing. If I were to hire someone I would think that someone who can put effort into themselves definitely can't put effort into work.

 

[Princess_Dot]

And it's a shame.
Your apperance shouldn't affect the decision on a job interview,school interview,etc.


Remember people,it's what's on the inside that counts.

But doesn't it? Untill this changes, I will put effort into my appearance. I cant singal handidly be the one to change it...I will just look lazy. So untill EVERYONE steps up and says it does not matter (everyone in the working force, school, celebrities, ect...) I will keep up my normal routine.

ETA: OP you said no one here cares about their looks as much as the people you are complaining about. We are all talking about a hypothetical "they" who obsess over their looks. Do any of us (myself included) actually know anyone who obsesses over their looks as much as the OP stated?? See in my school we have cliques, I can 100% identify the clique that would "obsess" over their looks. However, then I look at their report cards, at their extra activities, at their personalities. These girls are the leaders, are in the honors classes, they are much deeper than they seem.

I am wondering if perhaps we need to really see the real person, not the perfect facade.

 

[MrsSparrow..]

*Puts on fireproof suit* RIGHT This will be a long post, because y'know I like venting.

I don't mean to sound awfully mean, but the interview and appearance thing is kind of right. I'm studying all about interview processes at school, but obviously it's not the same in all situations. Unfortunately, the "outside" of you and first impressions can be important to many people.

I think there are better things in life which can be enjoyed without worrying about your appearance, it's why I love DisneyWorld so much because for the entire two weeks I'm there, I don't touch a pair of tweezers once, I don't touch my straightners, I wear cheesy disney clothes and I love it!

But unfortunately I live in a place where appearance is basically everything. Essex has a reputation for producing "WAGS". For those who don't know what they are, they are basically Wives and Girlfriends of famous soccer/football stars ie Victoria Beckham. Most WAGS come from Essex and I don't mean to stray off topic here. But a WAG is the most shallow person you will ever meet, 3 pounds of makeup, hair straightened for about 4 hours a day and tons of designer clothes.

As I live in a place like this, if I don't straighten my hair or whatever, at school or even outside I will be given horrible looks and even my friends ask if my straightners have broke or something and why my hair looks so "weird". I know the 'blaming society' rubbish doesn't wash with most people (myself included) but unfortunately it's the way people are and with teenage girls looking in magazines young girls are going to point at Nicole Richie and say..

"OH MY GOSH. I WANT TO BE JUST LIKE HER<3"

It's sad. And wow I've been typing for ages.

IN CONCLUSION (finally) I've lost a lot of family members mainly due to cancer lung and breast cancer being the main ones, and by those experiences I have learnt to appreciate the finer things in life and that life is too short to be worrying about appearances. But on the otherhand, I actually do enjoy looking nice. I enjoy the "getting ready" part and shopping is a social thing I like to do with my friends and my mum, its a bonding thing more for me than it is of social status.

-Ashleigh

 

[K-Shong99]

I don't see what's wrong with caring about how they look. I care about how I look, I straighten my hair daily, wear eye makeup, etc.

OP, if you choose not to wear makeup or do your hair, nobody's making you do those things. But you shouldn't be mad at people who do do those things. It makes people feel good about themselves when they look nice!

Weren't you the same person complaining about makeup and short clothing? Don't be so upset about other people looking pretty.

I agree.
I try to look my best when I can.
Makes me feel good.
But I have a different style then most girls.
So I guess I don't count.

 

[BabyPiglet]

If you feel pretty on the inside, then that's all that should matter.

And btw girls, you can look nice without a bunch of makeup and stick-straight hair.

 

[DisGirlAllie]

IMO I think it's fine to care about how you look. It's fine to care about your appearance. Now what's NOT okay is being mean to people because they don't care, unlike you.

 

[XxCuriosityxX<3]

IMO I think it's fine to care about how you look. It's fine to care about your appearance. Now what's NOT okay is being mean to people because they don't care, unlike you.

Ita.

 

[!magine]

If my hair doesn't look good, then I don't look sexy, and that's just not cool.

 

[Loves Disney]

The way the people present themselves is extremely vital and not even a thousand years can change that, unfortunately.

Society and human nature is built around things which include the way we view others. Subconsciously, the first thing we notice in someone is the way they look. In fact, the very first question we ask ourselves when meeting someone new is "what is this person's gender?" We may not realize we are asking ourselves this, but we are. Along with this, we also inadvertently ask ourselves other questions focused to the person's external self.

It doesn't make anyone more shallow for looking lesser on the person who is out in public wearing a food-stained t-shirt with holes, torn pants covered in grass stains, and unbrushed, greasy hair. Perhaps there is a good explanation for this, but without talking to the person, we don't know. It's the way the human mind works and telling people to stop caring about this sort of thing requires a lot more work than just that. It would require the people to endure a multitude of emotional changes as well as acquiring a completely new lifestyle uncommon to the world.

In my opinion, what makes a person more shallow is looking poorly on someone for physical traits that are out of the person's control. What I mean here are people who look poorly at others for having facial features that may not replicate that of the "perfect" image. This is what defines shallowness more in my opinion.

If a person has clothing without holes and stains and a hairbrush or comb, it couldn't kill to use them. Appearance does mean something in the world as unfortunate as that may sound. It isn't being shallow to understand that a first impression is not vocal...it is very much by sight. The second impression we get is what we then learn by talking to people. It's important to look and dress yourselves the way you want society to see you. Regardless of how that may be, dressing ourselves is expressing ourselves without talking. We don't talk to everyone we see walking and I think it's pretty obvious that we aren't invisible to the world...with that said, some people only get a first impression of us and that is it. You can't walk out the door expecting to be able to explain to everyone why it is that you look the way you do. Dress yourselves the way you want the world to know you.

Job interviews require a certain level of decent exposure. You can't walk into an employer's office looking like you just rolled out of bed. Employer's do take note of first impressions and this is why it's important to look and act presentable. A boss isn't going to hire someone who shows a lack of care because it's a common implication that if a person doesn't care enough to look half-way decent, he or she may not care enough to work at his or her best. Then, of course, there are other signs an interviewee may deliver that he or she didn't intend but that's getting too off topic and into the whole job application thing lol.

Sociology teaches us that appearance isn't everything but it's a good sized chunk. The want to look presentable isn't shallow...it's the level that people take it to that makes them shallow. To capture a first impression of someone based on looks isn't shallow...it's human nature (however, to judge someone based on looks the person can't control is shallow, imho, as I have said).

I agree with the OP though...you don't have to complain to everyone how you feel your appearance is. Half the time saying things like "I look terrible" is a way of asking for compliments and that's annoying as heck lol. But caring about the way you present yourself is important to the way others see you...and whether you like it or not, that's never going to change lol.

 

[BabyPiglet]

IMO I think it's fine to care about how you look. It's fine to care about your appearance. Now what's NOT okay is being mean to people because they don't care, unlike you.

You can care about your appearance without wearing pounds of makeup and straightening your hair.

Just because I don't do those things, doesn't mean I don't care.

Oh, those were hypothetical you's and I's, not actually me and you.

 

[m-and-m]

if the effort i put into my apperance reflected how i felt half the time i doubt people would come within 20 feet of me. i also look completely different between no makeup and my hair in a pony to makeup done and brushing my hair out. i don't feel comfortable with the way i look before i "get ready" so i'm not going to go anywhere looking like that. i have more confidence and i am more outgoing when i'm comfortable with the way i look.

for the record, i do my makeup and hair once in the morning and that is it. sometimes the people that touch up thier makeup constantly annoy me, but the way i see it they are just trying to make themselves more relaxed and at ease