I need to vent--aren't families wonderful??

[joshsmom]

So my mom and dad were here this morning. DS10 had a soccer game and grandma agreed to be here while the contractor finished up the gate on my fence.

So, I'm getting ready to go out the door and my dad walks up from the basement, OPENS MY PURSE that was sitting on the table, and takes out a jar of peanuts and starts eating them . I said in a very loud, very angry voice, "Did you just take that OUT OF MY PURSE???!!!!" and he looks at me like he has every right to invade my personal space. My mother then says "oh, he thought they were ours!" Um, ok, like the peanuts in MY purse would be theirs???? In my house????? So I said whatever, I gotta get the kid to soccer. I called my mom on the way to the soccer game and told her that he has NO BUSINESS in my purse AT ALL--I have already told DS10 that he's not to go in there. Why can't a 60 year old man understand this??? I also told her that it hurt my feelings that she would DEFEND HIM by saying "oh well, he thought they were ours." THAT'S NOT THE POINT!!!! The point is, he invaded my personal space by unzipping my purse and going inside it!!!

So, I get back from soccer and guess what?? Grandma is GONE and she left HIM here IN MY HOUSE alone!!! God only knows what he was doing here for 2 hours. When I came in the door and saw him here, I was LIVID, but instead of blowing up, I told him that I was home and he could leave. His excuse was, "oh, your mom has the car." I put him in my car and took him home. I sure as HECK didn't want to be in the same house with him until she decided to show back up.

My mother and I get in very few disagreements. When we do, it usually concerns HIM and its usually bad. I'm so angry I could pummel someone!!!!

Thanks for listening/reading.

 

[Mimi Q]

I think I must be missing some backstory on you and your dad. It wouldn't bother me if my dad was at my house alone, or for that matter if he opened my puse. Sorry you are upset.

 

[lulugirl]

I'm guessing there is a "history" between you and your Dad...otherwise I just don't get your anger....

 

[Tink's Pixieduster]

I think I must be missing some backstory on you and your dad. It wouldn't bother me if my dad was at my house alone, or for that matter if he opened my puse. Sorry you are upset.

Same here - I must be missing something. I wanted my Dad to feel at home in my house, and he loved peanuts too so I would make sure I always had plenty if I knew he might be coming over. And he did get into my purse a couple of times, but that was when I was a struggling young single Mom and he slipped me some extra $ when my back was turned.

If I could have my Dad back, I would give him every peanut I could get my hands on.

I'm so sorry this upset you so badly. I hope you are able to resolve your issues with him and your mom.

 

[VickiVM]

Could he be in early stages of dementia? That would certainly cause that sort of behavior and I can see how your mom wouldn't want to make a big deal of it - she's protecting him. Just a thought.

I've seen my father-in-law stomp on my daughter's foot because she accidentally bumped him. He's also taken items out of my son's hands and scolded him for no apparent reason. Just sort of bizarre behavior you wouldn't expect from a grown man.

My father in law passed a couple of years ago from complications of Alzheimers.

 

[Disney Doll]

Obviously you and your dad have a contentious history of some sort.

I am sorry you are upset. I agree with you that I don't like people going into my purse. I don't mind DH so much, but he won't do it. If I say to him "It's in my purse" he brings my purse to me to get out whatever it is that he wants. He always says "there are woman things in there that I don't need to know about". I, of course, tease him and tell him that they are made of cotton, so they won't hurt him!!!!

We have friends who are a long-term, but unmarried, couple. They do not live together. He lives with his parents (yet another story, at the age of like 52!!!) and she lives in her own condo. He thinks nothing of going into her purse, which drives me wild. She won't say anything, because she is too afraid of ticking him off and losing him. As far as I am concerned, if you aren't married to me, you have no right sticking your hand into my purse, and I don't care how long we've been dating.

 

[poohandwendy]

Wow...yeah I think there is more history here. Did your father raise you or is he new to the picture?

I can't imagine being upset that my father was alone in my house, or that he went into my purse. If anything, I would think it sort of funny. I would have made a joke over it, like "get your grubby paws off my peanuts you monkey".

To be honest, I don't have a father alive and I would do anything to see mine open my purse and grab a can of peanuts. (lost my dad when he was 48 and my bio dad at 61)

 

[Fan2CSkr]

I have to agree that there is prior history between you and your Dad. The way you keep saying HIM says it all. Sorry you are so upset and I hope you and Dad can work it out.

 

[disykat]

I can't imagine either of my parents going into my purse unless there was an emergency and they were looking for ID or medication or something. Was the can of peanuts visibly sticking out or something? Is your Dad always a "no boundries" kind of guy?

 

[jenks0718]

My parents and I are really very close and if my dad did that I wouldnt even blink and eye. I also wouldnt be worried or upset that my mom left my dad at my house alone. With that being said, I understand not all people have this type relationship with their parents and it seems to me like there is more going on here then some peanuts.

 

[ClarabelleCowFan]

My Dad has never seen the inside of a woman's purse - either my Mom's or any of his 4 daughters!!

 

[zurgswife]

Can't figure out why having your dad at your house would bother you so much??

 

[GEM]

Yeah. There's got to be more to this, at least I hope. I can't understand why on earth you would get mad that your dad gave up a whole morning to do you a favor and sit in your house. As for the purse thing, I'm not getting the big deal there, either. You seem REALLY mad, so I'm just guessing we're missing out on some history here.

 

[teacherforhi]

Maybe I'm just irritable today...but can I come to some of your houses and go through your personal stuff on the off chance there's something in there I want?

How did her dad know there was a can of peanuts in her PURSE? This wasn't a kitchen cabinet...

As far as not wanting him in her house, I got the impression that after the purse incident, she didn't want him left alone to wander through the rest of her things.

 

[sajetto]

Yeah. There's got to be more to this, at least I hope. I can't understand why on earth you would get mad that your dad gave up a whole morning to do you a favor and sit in your house. As for the purse thing, I'm not getting the big deal there, either. You seem REALLY mad, so I'm just guessing we're missing out on some history here.

I'm with you. A complete stranger or someone I'm not close with BIG PROBLEM. Otherwise dad or mom can open my purse all they want. Go ahead, I don't give a flip, hope you find something good

 

[powellrj]

I don't know the history here. But if you put two purses on a table, I would bet money my DF and my DH would have no idea which one was mine and which one was my DMs. While I am sure neither would go through my purse, if it were open on the table, I can't say they wouldn't grab a handful of peanuts and put it back.

 

[Showe]

Be Thankful you still have Parents to be so upset about.....

 

[poohandwendy]

My mother and I get in very few disagreements. When we do, it usually concerns HIM and its usually bad. I'm so angry I could pummel someone!!!!

Just rereading your post, I have to say, if my kids talked the same way about their Dad, we would have a real problem. So angry you could "pummel someone"?

 

[Wishing on a star]

I totally agree with the OP.

I am sorry, but my purse is MY PERSONAL space!!!!!! Period.

What really really bothers me is when parents, grandparents, inlaws, etc.... refuse to respect me and my space and my rights as an individual adult.

I DO have a right to a life, and personal information, and personal belongings that I do not wish for them to be privy to. I do have a right to have things that are simply none of their business.

I really do not understand those of you who think this was okay. Your parents must still have some kind of freudian parent-adult / child psychological thing over you.

 

[MAKmom]

This is a very strange post. I do not understand what the OP is upset about. We must be missing information. Maybe this is a joke?