I need some strength and support

[ripleysmom]

sweet angel, I just wanted to say that a psychologist is not a medical doctor. You should consider finding a different doctor to test your child.

ADHD is a physical medical condition and should be diagnosed by a medical doctor, whether that doctor is a neurologist, a psychiatrist or a neuropsychologist. In fact, my school district will not accept a diagnosis of ADHD unless it is provided by a physician.

 

[sweet angel]

ADHD is a physical medical condition and should be diagnosed by a medical doctor

I've never heard that before. That's interesting.

In any event, the first doctor that "diagnosed" my son just happened to be the one that "everyone in town uses". Something didn't sit right with me with that. Secondly, the test (which I had to complete comparing my child to others) is not at all objective. If you don't have any other children, or have exposure to any other children, you really can't compare.

The current psychologist, while not a medical doctor, gave my son a battery of tests...not the subjective one the first doctor did. He ruled out a whole slew of learning disabilities and told me that my son should have no problem maintaining at least a "B" average.

I'm not at all saying that the OP's child CAN'T have ADD/ADHD, but just that a second opinion is always a smart option.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Yes, I do believe that a pediatric neurologist can do the testing for ADD. I wonder if that is covered under your insurance??? Of course I am not sure. But maybe you can find other doctors that do testing that IS covered, I hope.

My dd did get meds in 4th grade for ADD but it wasn't her grades or forgetfulness. It really didn't help her and at the end of 5th I took her off it. I found no difference.

What she did have is what brought us to the psychiatrist, was anxiety. Now that was helped.

So I guess what I am saying is to not put too much stock in "the pill" solving the problems because it really is a comprehensive treatment.

I hope you find the solutions for your son. It really isn't easy but NEVER give up!

 

[Tuffcookie]

I would definately make an appt with a neurologist. My youngest DS was fine in grade school and then, when he moved to middle school, had major problems. He was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome. After that I requested he be tested through our school system. I can't believe how difficult it has been to get to the point where they are testing him. But, as another DISer pointed out, you must be insistent, and let them know you are not going away!

TC

 

[Pop Daddy]

hey

 

[mom2grace]

Originally posted by buzzlady
I believe that the school has 90 days in which to test after receiving your written request. I wish you the best of luck. You MUST keep on top of the school and let them know that you are NOT going away.

In Indiana, it's 90 SCHOOL days, not calendar days!! That makes it extremely slow, because you don't count Thanksgiving or Christmas break either.

Good luck!!!

Maybe you should find another pediatrician if they are passing the responsibility off on the school.

 

[Karel]

What does the teacher say? Does he understand the math from the failed test? Why does he say every question was wrong?

Does he say school is too hard?

I would check to see if your school as a Pupil Advisory Committee - PAC. ( I think that's what it stands for) The teacher basically asks others in the school for ways to help the child.

I would also start a behavior modification system. Start with basic - sticker every night for getting homework done, for remember things from school.

You've got a bunch of different issues here. One is: can he do the work and why is he not?

The second is: how can you help him become better organized? The organization thing, a lot of that is age. They are too wrapped up in life to bother with things like homework.

I would meet with the teacher and get a feeling for whether the work is too much for him. Then you can go to the Child Study Team for help. There are laws that lay down exactly how much time they have to finish testing him etc.

There are lots of other things that it could be than ADD. (Of course, I can't think of anything right now, LOL)

And maybe you can lighten up on the punishment too? Make that Xbox part of the behavior management. Once you lost something, what your incentive to keep trying? Use the things he likes to get the behavior that you want to see.

 

[PoohnPglet]

Have you checked out the social situation? Is he being bullied? Your son sounds like mine and after all the trips to specialists and tests etc...we found out that what was going on was that he was the victim of a group of bullies at the school. His forgetfullness and apparent lack of concern were a kind of stress disorder.

He has now been removed from the situation and is back to his old self. A little bit of counseling, but no drugs or other treatment.

 

[browneyes]

Good luck, Cindy.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Good wishes, Cindy, do hope things are figured out for your little guy. Always tough to see all that as a mom. Good thoughts here for you.

 

[eternaldisneyfan]

Let me offer you a big hug! That sounds rough. I agree with the others that you should see a medical doctor. Also search google for Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) to get some knowledge of your rights. I think part of this also involves diagnosing the problem. I hope things improve! (hugs)

Christamae

 

[janette]

Thought of another option for some testing. If you have a teaching hospital or even your school might have a diagnostic training section. That maybe another option and shouldn't be too expensive.

There are so many things that can cause the issues you are seeing a really well rounded picture will really help.

You'll know when the answers start coming together, it's just the trying to make sense of the puzzle that is so hard.

 

[tar heel]

Hugs from another parent who has been there.

Two other things I would be concerned about: Are there social problems, too? And be careful with the punishment. One of my greatest parenting regrets is a very punitive John Rosemond (yuck) discipline plan we followed for a year with our oldest son when he was having some issues sort of like this (although his grades were fine). Much later on, we finally determined what his problem is, and I feel so bad about what we put that little guy through. The school recommended the "program" and we thought we were doing the right thing.

As far as ADD/ADHD testing goes, our county health department here has a program. I have no idea what it covers, but you might want to give yours a call to see if that is an option. Also, if there is a CHADD chapter, they may be able to point you toward any inexpensive testing available.

 

[Mermaid02]

I haven't read all of the responses but I just had to add that yes ADD is always there but as school gets more rigid (schedules, homework, more responsibility etc) the symptoms can get worse.

My son has ADHD and was diagnosed by a Neuropsychologist last May. Good luck Cindy- feel free to pm me with any questions or if you just want to vent.

 

[Kitty 34]

Good luck Cindy and many hugs to you. My youngest son has had a lot of problems going thru school so I know the battle. Careful on the punishments tho because that will just make the situation more negative.

 

[Cindy B]

His grades were actually improving with the punishments. The punishment stemmed from him personally deciding not to do a homework social studies poster. He was assigned it two weeks ago, and didn't do it. The teacher sent two notices home about it, an dhe hid the notices in his drawer. Only after I got an email about it from the teacher, he finally fessed up.

Earlier that week, he also lied about a "supposed" fight on the school. There was no fight, but he involved guidance, principal and such. I'm not sure why he made up why this kid was fighting him, but he did.

Between the lying and the project that is where the punishment came in. The computer that was in his room is now gone. He was not allowed to trick or treat. (he was aware after the fight situation if there were any other problems in school that week, he would not got T or T. We talked about that, and he agreed. Then he hid the homework notices and we found out about it the day before Halloween. He spent Halloween day doing the poster.)

The computer, TV, and Xbox is strict, but those were his major time wasters. He did need to see electoral results for school, so he did that. He wasn't a huge TV watcher anyway, but the computer and Xbox hurts for him.

 

[mickeyboat]

I am sorry you are going through such a hard time with your son. I hope you all get the help you need. Hugs to you.

Denae

 

[Snow Dog Mom]

My DS was referred to a pediatric neurologist. Not only did she diagnosis ADHD but did futher testing that showed he was having right parital seizures that I was not even aware of.

The diagnosis cannot be ADHD for insurance to pay. All of DS insurance filings had to be re-submitted since someone put ADHD on his paperwork.

4th grade is a big year for boys especially. Is he starting to go through puberty---that could be a possible problem also.

Good luck with everything.

Kim

 

[huckster]

Breath... first let me say you can get thru this.. i have a son who is now almost 20 he was a worst case senrio.. and we have had a rocky road. i wont lie.
but you say he has had A's and before now did well in school?
my son has severe add , and depression , genralized anxiety panic attacks. started when he was in 5 th grade.and worsened.
my concern for you is : call your ins. find out how and who and where he can go for testing , but remember add is not the answer to everything.and Meds should be taken very carfuly if you do make this choice. Losing a bike is not a sign of add. is there more he is afraid to tell you? a bully picking on him? stolen bike?you need to find out the source of this sudden change..add wouldnt hit all the sudden. if i am understanding you correctly? there is a reason for all behavior. he may not tell you . he may need to talk to a profesional. please feel free to pm if you have questions.

 

[snoopy]

My son is experiencing some of the same organization problems (he's in 4th grade too), but the grades have remained intact. I think 4th grade is a defining year for these kids -- and when they start out "scatterbrained" (for lack of a better word), its just magnified in 4th grade. My son does not have an attention deficit though, I think his inability to organized and stay neat is genetic (his Dad's side!!). Do have your son tested to rule out ADD, but don't despair......while it very well maybe a ADD, it also could be just his personality. You'll just have to stay on him until he learns, and eventually he will, even if its not quite to the expectation you are looking for. Cindy!!