I need some "life" advice

[goodeats]

I'm born in October 1978, so we're close in age. I just turned 27, and sometimes I get concerned about fertility and such. But we're going to wait until at least 30 if not 31 before we try. We just aren't financially ready. Sure we're ready compared to a lot of people, but I'd rather wait.

Besides I'm enjoying being young and alone with my husband right now. Once you have kids, you can't give them back!

 

[swilphil]

I think you should take things one step at a time. Don't stress about long-range decisions now. Do enjoy your Disney Wedding! It should be a magical time.

I'm in agreement with others who say that you should get out of your parents basement before trying to start a family. I'd hold on to both jobs or look for something more lucrative until you get a place of your own. After you move into your new place, you don't like working two jobs, then you can give up the bartending job. Hey, can't your hubby come hang out in the bar while you work? My husband would LOVE that.

I also think it's a good idea to have at least one child before you open an in-home day care. For one thing, to be a state licensed day care provider, your home has to meet all sorts of requirements. It might be hard to meet those requirements until you have a home of your own. You also might feel a little "cheated" if you are going to have to look after other children when you have a newborn, and I don't know how you can take a maternity leave from your in-home daycare. Maybe you can work at a day care facility to see if that is what you really want to do.

Most importantly, you need to be discussing with your husband when you want to have kids. I didn't have my first child until I was 37. You definitely don't need to wait that long, but I wish my husband and I had more time with just the two of us before we had kids. Living with either of our parents would have been hard on our marriage. The two of you need a place of your own.

 

[Chicago526]

If you are worried that if you wait, you won't be physically ABLE to have kids (it's been known to happen so it's a valid fear), why don't you talk to your doctor? He/she could do an exam, maybe run some tests. If you are 100% healthy now, it stands to reason you will be okay to wait a few years. If they detect some kind of problem or potential problem, then you may decide that you'd better move your plans up.

 

[PlutoPony]

I may be in a minority here, but as a parent I'd be hesitant to use a day care provider who doesn't have kids, and is young starting out in the business. Sorry! When we used in-home, we looked very closely at the experience of the provider, her facilities (which are not inexpensive to set up), emergency training, her back-up if she was ill or otherwise had a problem, etc. Unless you have a LOT of child care experience - and not just as an assistant in an established center but as THE "go-to" person for the age group you'd be doing in-home for - I don't know how you could show me you know what you're getting into and could handle it. Please - this isn't meant personally - but as a parent I see some warning flags waving.... BTW, I didn't have my son until my late 30's and had no problems...
Good luck with all your decisions!

 

[Hillbeans]

I just had a baby 6 weeks ago, and i've got a 4 year old. I've been through the newborn stages of motherhood now twice, and there is no way I could ever watch someone else's child at this point while having my own (demanding) 6 week old and 4 year old. I'm going on (sometimes) 3 hours of sleep a day, and there are days I can just sit and cry because i'm so exhausted. I think for a first-time mom, you'd want to devote your time to your baby, not other people's children. I do, however think it's something you can work towards while you're home and in some kind of routine and you've accumulated "baby things" you can use towards your own business one day.

Just my opinion. Best of luck to you in whatever you decide.