i need some advice about a friend of mine

[LiLIrishChick63]

so i have a friend, we'll call her "Jessica" who has a crush on my DH's friend, whom we'll call "Carl".

i already know off the bat that "Jessica" is NOT "Carl's" type...at all. and i know for a fact that he doesn't like her in that way. and i also know that "Carl" isn't exactly the best "boyfriend" material out there. he's not exactly the nicest guy to his girlfriends. so i've told my friend "Jessica" this....but she keeps on trying to get me to hook her and him up.

and "Jessica" also has this weird style of flirting. she'll constantly annoy him and get kind of rude with him. that's her way of flirting with guys, i've seen it before(and i'll tell you right now that she doesn't usually attract the best guys, either).

so i've been trying to give "Jessica" these hints that it's not going to happen with her and "Carl".

we've all got plans to go to dinner on Saturday, DH and some friends of ours, to celebrate my DH getting a raise and me getting into college(which they don't know about yet, that'll be a surprise)! so "Jessica" was texting me, asking me details and whatnot and says something along the lines of "well i'd assume we'd all meet up at your place and take one car. unless 'Carl' goes, then i'll just have him ride with me! " and so i told her "yeah...i'm pretty sure 'Carl' has a girlfriend"(because last i heard he was "talking" to this new girl) and she didn't respond back to me.

and i'm just trying to figure out a NICE way to tell her that it's not going to happen. i can see "Carl" getting annoyed with her when they're both over here and she tries "flirting" with him(which usually ends in some sort of bodily harm towards him. and i don't understand this woman at all, she'll be turning 30 years old this year, yet she still acts like a child).

any ideas or advice you can give to me? i know "Carl" won't say anything directly to her because she's my friend and he doesn't want to get her or me upset, but i don't want him to stop hanging around DH because "Jessica" is not getting the hint.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

This sounds like a problem I had in junior high. I wouldn't say anything, she won't get anywhere with him according to you and she'll just give up eventually. If for some reason you can stand to watch it, don't invite her when he's around.

 

[doxdogy]

Stay out of it. You said your peace, now move on.

 

[vettechick99]

From what you said, obviously her love-life is a mess. Can you think of someone who might be good for her?

And obviously you need to be direct because she is not taking any hints. If she asked me again, I would outright say, "Carl is not a good fit for you. I am not setting you two up. But have you thought about so-and-so?"

I foresee a long life of heartbreak for her...

 

[C.Ann]

Tell her one more time that you're not interested in trying to get her and Carl "hooked up" and then leave it alone.. Don't say anything more - don't get involved in any way, shape, or form..

She's a big girl now and she needs to learn her "life lessons" the way the rest of us have - the "hard" way..

Time for you to remove yourself from the situation..

 

[JessicaR]

Has anyone asked Carl if he is interested? That way you can tell Jessica he isn't interested. Like others I agree that you should ignore the situation and let it play out the way it naturally would.

Maybe you could hint to Jessica that inflicting bodily harm isnt the way most guys like to be flirted with.