I need help plannig an impromtu wedding! I have no clue! LOL

[phorsenuf]

My DS will be home on leave in September from Afghanistan. He and his girlfriend have decided to get married while he's home. They plan to do it here in our hometown. Sounds OK so far, right? Well, his girlfriend lives in Germany so looks like I will be planning a wedding! I don't mind one bit but I have no clue! My DH and I eloped so I don't know what to do.

Yesterday my DS called a very nice facility who will arrange the ceremony and reception. She sent he and I copies of the different packages and what they include and such. I'm supposed to meet with her one day to go over things but I'm not even sure what I should ask! LOL

It'll be about 100 people or so, mostly relatives (big family). I think her dad and best friend will be flying in from Germany for the wedding. They will be doing another HUGE church ceremony in May 2007 in Germany for her side.

Where do I start? I want to let family know to reserve the date before the invitations go and I read something about "save the date cards" Would they go to everyone or just family? Do we as parents invite any of our friends? There is a few that have known my DS his whole life.

I don't know what to do.....please help.

I'm going to check out some wedding sites, but it's always nice to hear from people firsthand how they did things and how things may or may not have worked for them

Thanks!!!!

 

[L107ANGEL]

You need to get those invitations out asap. Where will you hold the reception?

 

[Quinn222]

I'm a researcher at heart. I suggest purchasing one of the 'plan your wedding' books.

 

[RadioNate]

The first thing is the date and time, once you know this...guest list and budget.

yes you may invite friends of your who are close to your DS, if you've got the budget for it.

Who is paying? And what's the budget?

I'd get Save the Date cards out to the entire guest list ASAP.

with the Save the Date cards you should also include info about local hotels for out of town guests. Make sure you contact the hotels to make sure they have availability. They can also do a room block for you.

After that take a deep breath and relax.

Don't worry about food, cake or decorations...just yet.

try http://www.theknot.com/

there are also lots of planning books.

ETA - I'd also consider hiring a local wedding planner to help. They would know who the best vedors are and can really help cut down on your research time.

 

[anewvance]

This CAN be done! And congrats to your son and future DIL. The most important thing right now is to find a location for the wedding and reception so you can get those invitations out. Good luck!

 

[phorsenuf]

The date has been chosen, September 30th. He's pretty sure of the location and they've sent alot of info so far to us. This is the one package he is looking at:

The Classic Package

~Personalized Service~
A dedicated wedding coordinator to assist you in planning your special day

~Wedding Night Accommodations~
A complimentary overnight stay in one of our beautiful guest rooms

~Table Accounts~
Fresh floral arrangements for each of the guest tables and for the head table

~Linen~
Floor length white linen will be provided for all the tables
White skirting will be provided for the head table, place card table and gift table

~Hors D’oeuvres Presentation~
Beautifully displayed Crudités with dip, Assorted Cheese and Crackers
with Fresh Fruit and your choice of three additional hot or cold hors d’oeuvres
for your guests during the cocktail hour

~Traditional Toast~
Chilled Champagne, Wine or Sparkling Cider to toast the bride and groom

~Four Course Dinner~
Choose from our wide selection of entrees prepared by our Executive Chef

~Elegant Ending~
A spectacular designed wedding cake served with vanilla ice cream

~Limousine Service~
For an elegant entrance, an eight passenger black or white limousine
for up to three hours of service

~Entertainment~
Professional DJ of your choice for five hours from our preferred vendors

What about bar? Is is cutomary to have an open or cash bar. Would it be tacky to print up the invitations and save the date cards at home on a nice printer?

I'm heading out to the bookstore now to see about some planning books. Since I don't have any daughters this may be the only chance I get to really help plan a wedding and it's kinda exciting.

What else do I need to think about and do right away?

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

We sort of did this. We decided to get married at a courthouse as DFi was int he military and facing a deployment again. We got everything done in about 2 weeks. This is September you're talking about, so it's a cake walk

Firsty, you need to find out what budget you're working with.

Next, you need to set date, time, and location. It seems like you've found your location, so you need to get the date and time ironed out. Being this close to the September, you need to be flexible. If they can't do it at the date and time you'd like, can they do it a bit earlier inthe day? Late in the day? The next or previous week? Consider Fridays and Saturdays, as well. Although not traditional, the people that are most important will make every attempt to be there.

After you have those details ironed out, you need to get invitations ordered ASAP becuase you need to get them sent about 6 weeks prior to the wedding. A lot of the online websites as fantastic. They do a great printing job, they're quick, ordering is simple, and the prices are reasonable. We ordered ours from the American Wedding Album (www.americanweddingalbum.com) and were very, very happy with them. They're expedited order is expedited order, too. Just be sure that you're incredibly careful when you're doing the wording, etc., to make sure that everything is spelled correctly and meets the etiquette protocol. You can IM if you have any questions as I researched this stuff at length! Remember, if you're doing aseated meal (instead of a buffett), you will need to have the food options listed on the response card. In other words, you will need to know what meals you're offering your guests before ordering the invitations for a seated meal. Remember, the wedding invitation is the first contact any of your invited guests will have with the wedding, so it needs to reflect the type of ceremony/the couple, etc. In other words, if you're having a very formal black-tie affair wedding with black and white colors, a beach invitation probably isn't the way to go.

Although you need a general idea of how many people you will be inviting, you do not need to worry about an exact guest list until after you get the invitations ordered and in processing. The guest list is important as it will give you an indication of the number of guests to expect or figure out who, for budget purposes, needs to be taken from the list or mailed an invitation later than others as you will need negative responses before being able to invite them. Be sre to check the etiquette for addressing and whatnot. Again, if you need the information on that type of thing, I have lots! If you're hiring a calligrapher to address the invitations, contact someone NOW! We used Harest Crittenden with Acorn Arts and she did a beautiful job. It's a busy time of year, so if it's something you'r einterested in, get a move on so that they could actually have time to fit you in. All of the invitations need to be addressed correctly and the names need to be spelled and titled correctly.

Vendors. Here's another one you need to get working on quickly, as you could run into trouble finding availability. Things to consider: officiants, photographer, floral, DJs, videographer, any live musicians, etc. You need date and time firm before you can contact them.

Another thing- Attendants. The bride and groom need to contact those people they would like to be apart of the bridal party ASAP so that they can make the necessary arrangements and be able to oder dresses and tuxedos in a timely manner.

OK... I think you have plenty to deal with right now with that list. PLEASE feel free to PM me if you need help. I love event planning and would love to get involved with wedding planning! Another wonderful tool is a Wedding Checklist. Th best one I found was located at www.weddingchannel.com. At the top, be sure the blue tab says, "Bride & Groom". Go to "My Tools" directly under that. In the middle column should be a "My checklists icon." You will enter all the information and they will give you checklists to be done in a timely manner based on how much longer until the wedding. You can add things to them and check them off as you finish. It's an invaluable tool!

Good luck!
xoxo

 

[chell]

Cathy I don't know a thing about it but wanted to send you some .

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

The Classic Package

~Personalized Service~
A dedicated wedding coordinator to assist you in planning your special day

Planning everything or is it just the day OF the wedding?

What about bar? Is is cutomary to have an open or cash bar?

This turns into a topic of very heated debate. It is customary to have the type of bar that you can afford. IMO, cash bars can come off as incredibly tacky. There are a number of combinations you can do for your bar. For our wedding in December, we stopped the sale of alcohol about 75 minutes before the end of the reception. We have heavy drinkers in the family and it seemed safer to stop people well before they'd be leaving. Keep in mind also that most people are happy with beer and wine as opposed to a fullyhosted bar with hard liquor and everything else. Many places will have it available, but that would be a cash expenditure. We did this, as well. We hosted beer and wine. It was well-marked on the bar what the options were. For those who wanted soemthing else, they had the opportunity to purchase it themselves. Again, for us, this was a way to keep the alcoholics from getting out of hand while still maintaining a hosted bar.

Would it be tacky to print up the invitations and save the date cards at home on a nice printer?

Depends. I have seen beautiful ones and tacky ones. If you do a careful jobn with them, they can be gorgeous! If you don't, they can be a mess. We got a home-made invitation to a wedding and a bridal shower... same wedding. The wedding invitation was lovely. The shower invitation, although pretty, lacked all sorts of information and the presenation wasn't very nice. There are A LOT of resources to do wedding invitations from home. Michael's has some nice invitations, as do many of the paper stores. As long as you carefully lay everythign out and spend the necessary time, I think they'd be splendid!

What else do I need to think about and do right away?

She needs to start making a decision about her dress as it may need to be ordered (sometimes a 8 week delay) and altered. Attendants, as well, fall into their things to do list. Vendors would be the other big ones that I could see- the ones that do no fall under the "covered" vendors from the package you mentioned earlier. Photographer....very, very important!

The girls on the Weddings and Disneymooners board could be of help. Also, theknot.com is a good resource website. Google searches can yield all sorts of results, too!

xoxo

 

[Maggi May]

Congratulations to you and your family.

Bridal Bargains by Alan and Denise Fields is a great reference book. It's a compact, easy to read reference that is full of suggestions. It's written from the perspective of a consumer rather than a bridal magazine. Lots of lists and ideas (such as what to ask your caterer or photographer) and creative ideas (unique wedding favors and internet/catalog resources). Not to oversell it, but it really was a lifesaver for me and my DH.

One small suggestion: we put disposible cameras on each table at our reception. Some of our best pictures in our wedding album came from those cameras -- funny shots that reflect our freinds' and families' humor and perspective. They were are nice balance to the formal pictures of the bridal party and family.

 

[barkley]

former wedding/event co-ordinator here-i would suggest, if the budget allows going with the all inclusive package w/the wedding co-ordinator. it will be much less stress for you. they will also have contracts with vendors to get the items you need in addition to what they offer (bridal party flowers, photographer and the like) so you will have the advantage of one person co-ordinating all of it.

check out kinkos for wedding invites (i know, sounds weird-but) places like that have the albums, the supplies in house and can do every bit as nice a job in much less time/at much less cost. it can also be a godsend to have thank you notes printed up at the same time (pre-printed but with an area for the personalized writing to be done after the fact).

whereever you do it-get the photographer/videographer lined up asap. quality ones are booked months in advance.

since you won't be competing with peak wedding or prom season, tux rentals should'nt be an issue. if the groomsmen are from different parts, use a national chain that allows them to go into a local branch, get measured and have the tux waiting at the local branch to the wedding.

get the invites out asap so travelers can book hotels and airfare. you can book a "wedding party" block of rooms (but we never gave a great rate on these)-you're almost better off calling reservations and seeing what kind of deal you can get on a block of rooms under any other available discounts (don't mention you're affiliated with the wedding being held there-if you get a good rate just book it under the "such and such group" and set it up such that each person reserves under their own name, own credit card but advantages under your group discount)-you can try for aaa, aarp, military or government rates, whatever you might qualify for (if a national chain check their website, on-line may have much better rates).

since she's from germany and only a couple of her family will attend-will she realy have any attendants? if there are a couple of your female family that will be doing-it may just be easier to find out the colors she likes and go to a nice off the rack store and get something there. it's kind of short notice to find anything now for a september wedding the traditional bridesmaid route.
i would'nt worry about her dress, i would think she will be purchasing and bringing with her.

the other key factor i would be concerned with is if her travel docs are in order-it's one thing for a non u.s. citizen who has married military to come and have a second wedding here, but i think it's more complicated to come here and get married (it won't meet the criteria of vacation, and since he's currently assigned to a military base outside the u.s.-i'm not sure how that works) but it's def. something they need to make sure is straightened out well ahead of time.

 

[phorsenuf]

We have the date, Spet 30th. He's probably going with the 6-12 time slot.

He has his attendents in mind so we will have to coordinate something with her. We have some older neices that would be happy to participate.

Photographer we have covered. He is a friend of the family and he loves to photo weddings as a gift.

I don't think we need to cover rooms for out of towners, most live local or will stay with family.

My son already has his tux and she has her dress, I do need to find out colors though.

Since most of the guests are family and none of us drink really, just an occasional beer or wine then offering those would probably work out good.

So I guess I need to just meet and confirm the location and then work on the invitations.

I do want to do the save the date cards right away though. I don't really need to much on that though, right? Just kinda an announcement of when it will be.

I'll have to talk to him about budget as that hasn't really been discussed. I do know it will be kept low-key.

my my...so much to do and think about....

 

[UnderTheMistletoe]

I've always thought that Save The Dates are waste of time, money, and resources if the wedding is predominantly local and immediate family. I am happy to receieve them well in advance when the wedding is a destination wedding or a long hual/difficult to get to for a lot of people (like the one in Traverse City, MI we have in August ).

If you want to do them and have the resources available, go for it. If not, I think they're a big push from the manufacturers to gain a few more dollars. You could always just send them to the individuals that would need to be notified in advance.

Information within the STD usually includes the date and location: "Jack and Jill are tying the knot. Please reserve the date of September 30, 2006 for their wedding day in Smallsville, USA. Invitation to Follow," has been the most typical wording I have seen. They usually include any hotel information, as well. I would use the term, "Invitation to Follow," for sure! Disney sent STDs out for us and people actually starting calling us saying, "Well, since there wasn't an RSVP card or anything, we wanted to let you know..."

 

[SandraVB79]

Consider Fridays and Saturdays, as well. Although not traditional, the people that are most important will make every attempt to be there.

What is not traditional about getting married on a Saturday? Over here, I think about 95% of the couples get married on a Saturday!

Remember, if you're doing aseated meal (instead of a buffett), you will need to have the food options listed on the response card.

Food options? Maybe it's good I still don't have an American boyfriend... because apparantly getting married in the US is totally different as in Belgium...