I need a hug!

[PatsMom]

Smell the roses... you say you are both commtted to each other. No he isn't. If he was he would have taken his profile down.


He is using you!!!!

PS this from a man.

What he said!

I would not only be changing my locks, I'd be checking my bank accounts and credit cards. If he is using you for support, who knows what he is capable of. Might not be malicious - could just be your ordinary garden variety cheater but I'd be checking.

If he's committed, he shouldn't be trolling the internet looking for something better. Time to move on IMHO.

 

[mickeyboat]

I'm sorry happily single.

 

[sms]

I hope you did say goodbye. Being single ain't so bad!! The next time you're out looking for a relationship, Don't Settle! Keep your standards high! You deserve way more than that. I'm much happier single than miserable in the wrong relationship! Always go with your instincts, they're usually right!

 

[hentob]

Since that is the route you took. I would go ahead and chat with him under the alias make plans to meet him some where. Let him fall over himself trying to explain what he's doing lol.

 

[hentob]

Talk about passive aggressive.

You lied about being ok with his profile being up, then you snoop on him, then you actually go and bait him? What's wrong with you? Perhaps you are also not mature enough to be in a relationship. Time for each of you to break ties.

I think what she did was fine Now he can't lie his way out of it. She knows exacty what he is up to.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I don't know why all the sleuthing. I am assuming you have no kids since you only know him for 5 months, so there is no reason at all to be bothered trying to catch him etc. You saw what you needed to see and I think it is pretty obvious that he is not as commited as you are. Move on. Why waste time and energy on something that is not good from the start?

 

[Serena]

I'm sorry.

Now you have to decide what you want to do. You obviously don't trust him. It sounds like you have good reasons.

I know how hard it is to stay single. But please, next time, get to know him a little more. You have trust issues, they are there for a reason. It takes time to know a person and trust them, and for them to deserve that trust.

But be honest next time. Don't tell him it's ok to do something when it isn't. It creates huge misunderstandings for no reason.

 

[JessicaR]

IMO, any guy who is checking his online dating service and chatting/IMing other women isn't in a commited relationship with you.

Thats exactly how I feel.

It sounds like he needed a place to live. He continues to actively read and update his dating profile. He also contacted your phony ad so how many more is he chatting with? I am so sorry, he is a jerk! You don't deserve this and your gut instinct told you so already. You will find a great guy, keep looking.

 

[sbell111]

... But be honest next time. Don't tell him it's ok to do something when it isn't. It creates huge misunderstandings for no reason.

agreed

 

[disbridemimi]

Trust your gut, and of course then there is the evidence.
You don't have to wonder what he is doing, you KNOW WHAT HE IS DOING.


Protect your finances, kick him out! He will be living with some other girl in no time. Just be glad you found out NOW and not later. If he owes you rent or money for anything, get it first, then change the locks and make sure he doesnt have access to any of your accounts or credit cards. He seems to know what he is doing so don't feel bad.

BREAK IT OFF.

 

[happygirl]

I'm sorry.


But be honest next time. Don't tell him it's ok to do something when it isn't. It creates huge misunderstandings for no reason.

For whatever it worth I feel like she didn't anything wrong, She said he could have a account at some website. that doesn't give him the right to cheat on her

 

[Epcot luvr]

So sorry for you, at least you found out now. No way would I put up with that. If you are living together as a couple then there is a commitment. I would ask him to move out. Don't even waste your time telling him you created a profile, that is none of his business. If you choose to tell him you saw he recently updated his profile you are giving him a chance to give you an excuse. Don't give him a chance to explain tell him you saw that he did it this is unacceptable behavior and ask him to pack and go.Too many fish in the sea. Live and learn fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me. That is what I would do.

 

[MermaidsMom]

So sorry this is happening to you! The safest approach is probably the packed bags sitting outside the door when he comes home plan. Who really knows what this guys history is or if he may become violent when confronted? Be safe and be rid of him. You sound like a very nice person and you will find the right person eventually.

 

[Handbag Lady]

Kick him to the curb.

Seriously? He has his profile up on a dating service while he is living with you. In what universe is this acceptable?

Trust your gut feeling. He's trolling for his next payday date.

 

[rie'smom]

How long have you been happily single? I'm asking because sometimes women do not give themselves enough time between relationships. They don't realize that it's ok to not have a man in their lives for a while.
He's using you. Let any guy you like pass the friend test. They will notice the BS that you might not see.

 

[Angelhalo]

If you haven't kicked him out already, I hope that when you do, that you will invite a friend (preferably male) over with you while you boot him. You never know how he might react.

Stay safe! Sounds like you're a smart cookie. You'll find a good one, you just have to keep searching.

 

[LuvOrlando]

-

 

[Serena]

For whatever it worth I feel like she didn't anything wrong, She said he could have a account at some website. that doesn't give him the right to cheat on her

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying he has a right to cheat on her. We don't even know that he is. He sounds like he's still fishing and not committed to her which would be ok, if she wasn't either and it was an agreed upon situation. But no, he's living with her, living off her and fishing for someone else. That is not cool.

My comment was to make sure and tell a guy when something is alright and when it isn't. Don't tell him having his account is ok, when it makes her feel bad. Now, even if it originally didn't make her feel bad, it does now and she should tell him.
My comment is to not make a guy read your mind. How is he supposed to know how you feel about things if you don't let him know?

 

[lil mermaid]

You asked what you should do - so here is my take.

You should kick the guy out, and concentrate on your children for awhile instead of your dating life.

 

[RichNKatHolly]

Hey Happily Single - how did things go? I hope you are feeling better today no matter what you decided to do.