I must have SUCKER written on my forehead

[iheartnmr's]

Isn't this whole post about you?

 

[BernardandMissBianca]

The biggest thing that aggravates me, and maybe it only happens to me, but when someone does ask me a question then tune me out or walk away! My boss is real bad about asking me something and when I'm in the middle of talking she'll walk away. It does make me wonder if it's me, I've always been a little shy but come on.

Oh I have a friend that is like that! One big drama ball that just rolls and rolls. But heaven forbid I have an issue. I get my story out then there is a long pause, a yep or a that sucks and then back to her.

 

[NY Disney fan]

Ha Good lyrics!!

 

[luvsmickeymouse]

oh....ME TOO!! Add me to this list! I am the one that brings everyone to the airport, BUT no one can bring me! I even lost a friend over me asking them to do so!! Can you believe that? So I am in transition, and doing what I need to do for me! Concentrating on school and work! I can no longer be bothered with my self absorbed self centered friends! who can afford them? lol
I just now do my own thing!

Me too! I am doing what I need to do for me! Finally after all these years. And it feels great!


ETA: I could have written every single one of these posts.

 

[Luvchefmic]

Ha Good lyrics!!

Whether you're a country fan or not you should get it, you'll find yourself smurking as the lyrics run through your head when around those types....catchy little tune too

 

[AlleyKat]

I could have written every single one of these posts.

Me too!

 

[JessicaR]

Me too. Thats OK, I would rather it be that way.

 

[Disney Doll]

I seem to attract people who need taking care of.

You know, people who can't handle their life, ask your advice, ignore it, the thing you said was going to happen happens and then they need your help to fix it.

It's getting tiresome.

 

[NY Disney fan]

 

[Magpie]

I actually don't enjoy "good listeners" or "strong, silent types". I don't become friends with them. They make me uncomfortable, and I end up talking more to try and fill the silence.

I can't stand people who think bad things about someone, but won't say it to their face. For goodness sake, if I'm bugging you, just tell me!

I like chatty people who can hold their own in conversation with me. When I say, "Oh, you broke your leg? Let me tell you about the time I broke mine!" That doesn't mean I want you to shut up about your leg and just listen to me. It means I sympathize with your pain. I want to compare our stories! It also means I expect you to tell me LOTS about your leg, interrupt me whenever you think I'm wrong, and just talk as much as you like to talk. Because, don't worry, I won't hesitate to interrupt you when I've got something I want to say.

Oh, and feel free to tell me to shut up, if I'm onto a topic that you don't like or if you need some quiet time. I don't mind that, either. I'll just get a book and try really hard not to read passages of it aloud to you.

I'll also get you coffee, make you meals, look after your kids, and do whatever else you need me to do while you're recovering from that broken leg.

Because, you know, we're friends.

 

[Robinrs]

I meant the "wandering into your circle" figuratively, not literally.

Your initial post was venting about all these self-centered people who you choose to listen to, and then complaining that they don't listen in return. You didn't mention that you were looking for "one true friend." That's a whole different thing.

The people you are sitting back and listening to are talking to you because they can. If you stopped listening, they'd stop talking. They see you as a sounding board. An available ear. They have no real relationship with you. You could be their therapist. (In fact, you could consider charging for the listening service ... )

But if you're looking for a "true friend", you need to find a place where the kind of people you want to be friends with congregate. And that doesn't seem to be your workplace.

Wow... wisdom on the DISboards.. whodaTHUNKit!

 

[scrapbookworm]

I actually don't enjoy "good listeners" or "strong, silent types". I don't become friends with them. They make me uncomfortable, and I end up talking more to try and fill the silence.

I can't stand people who think bad things about someone, but won't say it to their face. For goodness sake, if I'm bugging you, just tell me!

I like chatty people who can hold their own in conversation with me. When I say, "Oh, you broke your leg? Let me tell you about the time I broke mine!" That doesn't mean I want you to shut up about your leg and just listen to me. It means I sympathize with your pain. I want to compare our stories! It also means I expect you to tell me LOTS about your leg, interrupt me whenever you think I'm wrong, and just talk as much as you like to talk. Because, don't worry, I won't hesitate to interrupt you when I've got something I want to say.

Oh, and feel free to tell me to shut up, if I'm onto a topic that you don't like or if you need some quiet time. I don't mind that, either. I'll just get a book and try really hard not to read passages of it aloud to you.

I'll also get you coffee, make you meals, look after your kids, and do whatever else you need me to do while you're recovering from that broken leg.

Because, you know, we're friends.

Oooo, some insight from the other side!

 

[NY Disney fan]

I actually don't enjoy "good listeners"

You must be the only one.

 

[Magix]

I had a "friend" for 10 years, who always talked about himself. I mean, ALWAYS. I was always doing my best to counsel him and help him deal with the turmoil he was feeling. But, he always talked about the same things, every time, for hours on end, and he did nothing to change his situation. Every time I tried to talk about anything in my life, he'd negate it and start talking about himself again, so I stopped trying.

Then, one day, after we'd had a bit of a falling out and it was obvious the "friendship" was basically over, he sent me a 5 page handwritten letter complaining that I never opened up to him, never shared myself with him. ???? Hard to do that when you just keep talking over me.

I'll never understand that one. Don't let me talk, then complain that I don't talk. And actually take the time to send me a rambling letter about it. Whatever...

 

[NY Disney fan]

Then, one day, after we'd had a bit of a falling out and it was obvious the "friendship" was basically over, he sent me a 5 page handwritten letter complaining that I never opened up to him, never shared myself with him. ???? Hard to do that when you just keep talking over me.

Its hard to talk to someone when they do not express interest in finding out about you. There is actually an element of love and compassion in a friendship. When someone doesn't give a green light, the friendship then become one of tolerance. But of course, both parties don't turn away until it gets bad.

 

[WDSearcher]

Its hard to talk to someone when they do not express interest in finding out about you. There is actually an element of love and compassion in a friendship. When someone doesn't give a green light, the friendship then become one of tolerance. But of course, both parties don't turn away until it gets bad.

Do you have an "element of love and compassion" towards the self-absorbed people who gravitate towards you, as mentioned in your intial post? You don't appear to, based on what you've said. You're listening to them because you don't care one way or the other, right? Not because you're friends. So ... there's nothing that says they are then required to listen to you in return.

Sorry -- I know you just wanted to vent more than anything else, but my brain won't let me go until I figure out why you feel as though you're a "sucker" in this case.

They're not your friends, you don't really care what they're saying, but you're upset because they won't listen to you. You're not a "sucker" ... you're just maybe expecting the talkers to behave like friends when that relationship doesn't seem to exist.

Or ... not. I'll go away now ....

 

[curious3069]

I'm going to give you the advice I gave to one of my co-workers who is a magnate also. Don't act interested and don't look them in the eye. Eventually they will stop coming to you with tales of their drama-filled lives!!!