i love you.

[cindys_castle2011]

So some may know that I do have a boyfriend.

It'll be a year next month.

So his mom some how logged into his myspace and saw that he put something in his about me, about how he loves me. And then how I left him a comment a couple weeks ago that said "I love you!"

And she started yelling at him saying we don't need to be saying that cause we don't mean it and we don't know what true love is.

When he told me that, I really felt like I wanted to cry. I know we're only 16. But, I do love him. And I usually wouldn't bother me, but his MOM saying that.. is really bothering me.

I respect her as a person, an adult, a mother, and everything.. but sometimes I just don't understand how he doesn't just give up on everything.

I've made ranting threads before about all the drama with her before so I'm not gonna make another one.

Ugh, I just get so irritated, I feel so bad for him at times.

 

[::Snow_White::]

Sometimes I think love gets thrown around too much, but then I think that sometimes people don't say it enough.

Nobody knows how somebody else feels unless they're in the other person's shoes.

I'm sorry she upset you.

 

[life of the party]

aw i'm sorry

but i do understand why she is saying that, i mean adults are more experienced and think that young people cant be in love

only YOU know how you truly feel , dont let her get to you

 

[DramaQueen]

i don't think it's anyone's place (except your own)to judge whether or not someone means it. i said 'i love you' to derek after only dating for 2 months, we've been together over 3 years now -- i mean it now and i meant it then. just because i was 17 at the time and had only been with him for 2 months doesn't give anyone the right the judge whether or not i meant it

i may mean it a different way now, but there definitely are different types of love, and even within the span of a relationship you can go through those different 'types' of love. even within the span of a day you can say 'i love you' twice and mean it two different ways.

don't let it bother you. if you mean it, don't bother with whatever anyone else thinks.

 

[PigletGurl]

She doesn't know what goes on in your heads. Don't let it get to you and don't treat her any different. Scott told me he loved me the day he met me. It's amazing. I love him enough to die for him. If she doesn't believe you, then show her that you love her son. After all, actions speak louder than words.

 

[Mrs. Chamberlain]

I honestly have to agree with his mother. You DO have no idea what true love is.

 

[life of the party]

I honestly have to agree with his mother. You DO have no idea what true love is.

that post was really inappropriate.
who are YOU to judge if she is in love or not?
how old are you? your most likely a teen to, so don't say your any wiser than her or any of us.

i cant believe you just said that that pissed me off so bad

 

[Mrs. Chamberlain]

that post was really inappropriate.
who are YOU to judge if she is in love or not?
how old are you? your most likely a teen to, so don't say your any wiser than her or any of us.

i cant believe you just said that that pissed me off so bad

Please type with proper grammar when you openly bash me.

I'm 16. She literally does not have the maturity to decide whether she is in love or not. Her brain is not completely developed and she therefore can't put forth the thought process to decide what love truly is. I'm guessing this is her first relationship too. I would rank this on the lust level. Teenagers have no concept of what love is.

My post was logical, not inappropriate.

 

[life of the party]

Please type with proper grammar when you openly bash me.

I'm 16. She literally does not have the maturity to decide whether she is in love or not. Her brain is not completely developed and she therefore can't put forth the thought process to decide what love truly is. I'm guessing this is her first relationship too. I would rank this on the lust level. Teenagers have no concept of what love is.

My post was logical, not inappropriate.

there was nothing wrong with my grammar?
it was inappropriate. why? because she was obviously hurt and upset by what her boyfriends mother had said and you rubbed some more salt in the wound by saying her boyfriends mother was correct.

you don't need your brain to be fully developed to be in, or know when your, in love.

this is not her first relationship by any means. i know of at least one or two other relationships she has posted about.

those being from the lust-puppy love rank, and her comparing it to her current relationship. i recall her saying one was "barely puppy love compared to *her current boyfriend*"


not EVERYTHING in this world should be looked at in a logical sense, sometimes nothing makes sense and you just need to listen to your heart and your gut.

 

[bananda]

i dont think that you need to be a certain age to be able to feel and understand love. it is very possible for a 16-year-old to be in love.

i think that people also have different perceptions of what "true love" actually is. maybe your bf's mother just has a different view of love than you do. by the way, im not trying to justify what she said at all. i dont think she has the right to make assumptions about your feelings.

 

[nerdylightbulb]

I personally don't believe in love at such a young age. I couldn't tell you what the meaning of love truly is. And plus, your brain isn't fully developed until the age of 20.

 

[tiggspring]

cindys_castle2011,

I'm 42 and a Mom and if you say you love him you do. Love is Love it can take may different forms and depths but that doesn't make it less real. While it is true that many 16 years olds do not have the maturity to know what they want some do. Try not to feel to bad about his moms reaction. Understand that his Mom make like you but not like "losing" her son. Many moms have trouble letting go even after their sons are married.

My aunt an uncle are in there 70's now and met then they were 16 and 14. Believe me they LOVE each other and it is still very obvious to this day. When I was 17 I met my high school sweet heart. We fell in love and at 19, when we were both in College and had just got engaged, we found out he had cancer. We stuck it out even though many, many adults said I should leave but I had already made commitment in my heart. We got married just a few weeks before my 21st birthday and had a wonderful 3 1/3 years together when he was told he was "cured" because he was 5 years out from his remission. Unfortunately his cancer unexpectedly came back and at 24 I lost him. only about 20-30 percent of marriages survive a serious illness like that and our young love did just fine thank you very much! My current DH and I have been married for 15 yrs so I know a thing or too about love and GOOD marriages.

I will say this. Be careful. I had a serious relationship before I met my DH1 and although I loved him it would have been a big mistake to stay with him too long (we dated 8 months) or God forbid marry him! Look at really good marriages and compare your relationship to theirs before you make decisions that will effect the rest of your life. I knew it was wrong when he wanted what was right for him more than what was right for me or us. He was a good guy but immature and a bit selfish. Sorry to say many, many guys fit this description. Many, Many guys get going when the going gets tough.

Focus your love on what's good for you and him. If it's meant to last it will. If not you will hopefully learn what you want from your next love. I have no regrets about the three loves during my lifetime. I wish you the same!

Oh and for Gods sake do not let anyone, no matter how old they are tell you how you feel!

 

[imabrat]

Oh, come off it.

AGE DOESN'T DEFINE LOVE! People may have different perceptions of true love, but who in the hell is anyone to judge it? I don't care if you're a scientist with all your "facts", or just a joe schmoe walking down the street. Love is a human emotion everyone will feel, regardless of your age. Unless you're Mr. Spock, surely you'll feel love at one point in life - whether you're 13 and it's the neighbor down the street, or 82 and the person across the hall in the assisted care facility.

 

[DramaQueen]

Please type with proper grammar when you openly bash me.

I'm 16. She literally does not have the maturity to decide whether she is in love or not. Her brain is not completely developed and she therefore can't put forth the thought process to decide what love truly is. I'm guessing this is her first relationship too. I would rank this on the lust level. Teenagers have no concept of what love is.

My post was logical, not inappropriate.

Hm, well perhaps it's unwise of you to judge the maturity level of a person that you don't know. Not everyone matures at the same rate, I'm sure you know that.

I can't understand why people think that teenagers don't know what love is. Does that mean that on my 20th birthday I actually meant 'I love you' when I said it to my boyfriend more than when I was 17? Does it mean that for the 2.5 years I told my boyfriend I loved him before I turned 20 I was really just 'in lust' I doubt it...

 

[My Wild Love]

there was nothing wrong with my grammar?
it was inappropriate. why? because she was obviously hurt and upset by what her boyfriends mother had said and you rubbed some more salt in the wound by saying her boyfriends mother was correct.

you don't need your brain to be fully developed to be in, or know when your, in love.

this is not her first relationship by any means. i know of at least one or two other relationships she has posted about.

those being from the lust-puppy love rank, and her comparing it to her current relationship. i recall her saying one was "barely puppy love compared to *her current boyfriend*"


not EVERYTHING in this world should be looked at in a logical sense, sometimes nothing makes sense and you just need to listen to your heart and your gut.

Your post looked fine to me... I hate when people bring grammar up when they are being flamed. It's a huge cop out for not being able to defend yourself.

Well I don't think anyone can tell you how YOU feel.

 

[life of the party]

i don't think of love as something you have to be mature or have your brain fully developed to understand or feel.

it's a human emotion, and a passionate one.
does that mean i cant feel sad, guilt, depression, or anxiety until i'm 20 years old? i don't think so. your brain does not have to be fully developed for you to feel emotions, unless i'm terribly confused.

Your post looked fine to me... I hate when people bring grammar up when they are being flamed. It's a huge cop out for not being able to defend yourself.

Well I don't think anyone can tell you how YOU feel.

thanks. i mean, my capitalization could use some work but the rest looked fine hahaha .

 

[MickeyisBeast]

Your post looked fine to me... I hate when people bring grammar up when they are being flamed. It's a huge cop out for not being able to defend yourself.

Well I don't think anyone can tell you how YOU feel.

I agree, I saw nothing wrong with the grammer.


Anyways, back on topic...

ONLY YOU KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. Don't let your boyfriend's mom or anyone on here tell you what you can and cannot feel. They don't know you, they dont know every little thing that happens in your life, so they can't say anything about it. If you say you love him, and if you are saying it with all your heart, then it means you love him. Someone else was saying your brain is not formed yet or whatever, well to know if you love someone, it doesn't come from your brain, it comes from your heart. Hope everything turns out okay!

 

[Sparx]

we were talking about this in my marriage and family class

my advice? he needs to stop saying "i love you" to his mom, when she says it to him.

okay, that might not fly, but really, thats what she's saying.

different KINDS of love happen at all different ages. the way you love your cat, your boyfriend, and your mom. you do love them all. is it the same way your boyfriend's mom loves her husband? no. its not. frankly because you're two different people at two different stages in your life.

romantic love has five stages, and most younger relationships never hit the fifth stage. (heck, most adult relationships never hit the fifth stage)

young relationships teach you how to have relationships later on in your life. it teaches you what you like, what you dislike, and what you want in a relationship. and thats very important. its just a fact of the matter that 99% of first relationships (for either party) will fail. (thats not to say that later you can't reunite with that person, but the first time around, it probably wont work, becuase you guys don't know how to make a relationship work for the long term, and thats okay)

but hey, what does dr. aday know? his mother is obviously right.

 

[Sparx]

Please type with proper grammar when you openly bash me.

I'm 16. She literally does not have the maturity to decide whether she is in love or not. Her brain is not completely developed and she therefore can't put forth the thought process to decide what love truly is. I'm guessing this is her first relationship too. I would rank this on the lust level. Teenagers have no concept of what love is.

My post was logical, not inappropriate.

it was logical, by some thought processes i guess, but wrong.

because the only thing that is undeveloped in your brain at 16 is the ability to predict future consequences for impulsive actions (like spending money or drinking and driving.) and not all of your neuro transmitters are fully developed (but that doesn't stop until you die.)

your amygdala and hippocampus and hypothalamus (all involved in feeling love) are fully formed very early in life.

if teenagers have no concept of what love is, you don't love your parents, pets, music, or anything else.

 

[DramaQueen]

i don't think of love as something you have to be mature or have your brain fully developed to understand or feel.

it's a human emotion, and a passionate one.
does that mean i cant feel sad, guilt, depression, or anxiety until i'm 20 years old? i don't think so. your brain does not have to be fully developed for you to feel emotions, unless i'm terribly confused.
.

ITA


and just like I said before and shelby just reiterated in more scientific-like words, there are different types of love, different stages.
but they're all still love.

i just don't understand how someone can presume to tell someone how they do/ do not feel. his mom's probably just scared that her little boy is growing up TBH.