You know what's so cool.
@calypso726 and I are probably two of the most hardcore churners in this thread... And we live VERY different lives and yet both find a way to generate the points needed to do the travel we love! She's a woman, I'm a man. I have kids, she doesn't. I think her and her plane princess are a bit older than me and my plane-fearing wife. I'd guess she spends significantly more annually than we do, BUT she has the means to do so and certainly has a grasp on her finances. She enjoys big international trips, we don't leave the country. She doesn't seem to ever fly SW, I only fly SW... She pays A LOT of annual fees, I avoid them like the plague... The list could go on and on...
BUT we both are able to harness the power of our spending to generate maximum points return and achieve amazing, memorable trips! Look at what others are doing different - see if you can learn from them. IF it's not your style, don't judge, just be you! We have a lot of newer folks in this thread and it's super important to NOT try to be somebody else here. Find your own churning path - you may find you're similar to me, you may find your similar to
@calypso726 OR you may find you're someone else entirely, and that's ok!
I think you are right
@SouthFayetteFan which is what makes this game so cool. Everyone can utilize the strategies we employ to suit their needs no matter what the goals are and no matter what end of the spectrum they fall. Most know that I will be turning 50 in January which I think is definitely older than you and Mrs. SouthFayetteFan. I'm older than the Plane Princess by 4 years. Hmmm, does that make me a cougar? Gosh I hope so!
Annual fees, schmannual fees it's all about what can that card do for me (I'm a poet and didn't know it). If the AF is worth what it does, then I keep it. If it isn't then I don't. Granted, I do tend to keep more with AFs than most

But I do cancel some of them you know.
As for yearly expenses, I'd say our biggest expense is travel. Disney related travel to be more specific. The mortgage is paid off. We both drive Toyotas which last forever and we won't get a new cars until the current ones are dead. IRAs are fully funded each year and we are on track toward retirement. If we spent less on travel we could likely retire earlier than we are striving towards. However, I prefer to hedge my bets and would rather travel today and retire tomorrow than not travel and find that tomorrow never came. It has happened to a number of people I know. There's a balance and middle ground to be found between YOLO and early retirement. We found ours.
We are fortunate as far as to where we are financially, but it wasn't always like this. When DH and I met, I was living on my own, waiting tables putting myself through college one class per semester since it was all I could afford. DH was in college and coached volleyball part time. Sometimes, I was making more in one night than he was making in one week

We still didn't have two nickels to rub together. We both had been brought up very poor and our families did not take vacations or dine out. I can recall times when my mom did not eat so that my brother and I could. I believe growing up that way plays a big role in why we do what we do with points and miles and why it still blows us away that we can do what we do. There is still a 10 year old little girl inside of me wearing clothes from a thrift store staring at the plane she is about to board in awe over the fact that she is actually getting on a plane. That doesn't go away for me. Nearly 50 year old me is always going to indulge that little girl inside if possible. I think DH has his own inner 10 year old and will hand him a sparkly tiara when boarding a plane too

I mention this because the "who you are" today can change into "who you are" tomorrow. If DH and I had discovered this hobby when we first got married, we would likely have been playing it very differently than we do today. If we were starting out now, we would be all over the SW CP which is a program I greatly admire despite the fact that I rarely fly SW.
The other wonderful thing about this hobby, your strategies can evolve as your circumstances evolve. This thread is awesome in that we have every end of the travel hacking strategy spectrum. Today, you may want as much cash back as possible and
@SouthFayetteFan is the man for the Amex MR/Schwab return. Tomorrow, you want to fly to wherever for your 10th, 20th, whatever anniversary on Singapore Airlines in suites class and stay at some absurdly priced frou frou hotel, or castle and I'll have your back.