I lost my best friend last night....

[mlegerto]

Last night I had to say my final goodbye to my baby Rumbles (my grey tabby). He was 21 years old and I got him for my 4th birthday. I cannot remember a time without having him with me. Being a very lucky girl, my dad got my two kitties for my birthday (tippy my orange/brown tabby).

I noticed a while ago that rumbles was getting small and losing a lot of weight (at this point he was already 19). I figured it was a normal part of getting older. He was extremely happy, eating well, drinking water and always following me around to be with me. On Sunday I had this feeling when letting rumbles that something wasn't right (I just knew him so well). I monitored him over the next few hours and decided that he needed to visit the vet (rumbles did not make regular visits to the vet due to his age...I knew he was older and not in the greatest health and I could not afford surgeries and tests. Vets in the past told me that he was too old for surgery anyways because he was not strong enough to survive). Wen we got to the vet, we found that he was very fragile and dehydrated. The vet gave him fluids under the skin and sent us on our way. He seemed much happier and full of life, wanting to cuddle with me and purring. Over the next few days we played the same game (he wouldn't look good, we'd take him to the vet, he'd be better temp. Then back to not so well). Even though I know he wasn't feeling well, I'd sit ere with him to pet him and console him and he'd purr. Not his normal purr though. Looking back, I honestly believe that he was fighting for me and trying to console me and tell me it's okay.

Finally on Tuesday, I could tell he wasn't doing well at all. He didn't want to move, barely wanted to cuddle with me and was not purring in his usual fashion. I called the vet to update them and they told me "this isn't good. We suggest you bring him in right away, but please do not come by yourself because it doesn't sound good". I knew at that point that Rumbles was in much pain and that I would have to make the extremely hard decision to say goodbye.

We went to the vet and just as I had feared, the vet agreed he was in extreme pain and had gave up fighting. We went through with the procedure.

Now I feel alone and like I have lost my best friend. I try to take my mind off of it with work and good memories of my time with Rumbles (and let's be honest, over 21 years there were a lot). It keeps popping into my head the moment when I was holding, petting and consoling (as I told him how good a boy he was and how much I loved him) and he took his last breathe. I keep second guessing myself and if I made the right decision, I know I did though. I couldn't see him in that pain and the chances of him making any recovery was so slim (they estimated that he only had about 20% kidney use left. There has not been a night since my 4th birthday that I had not slept alone at home without him. Needless to say, even with e assistance of sleeping pills I cannot sleep. When I close my eyes all I can think of is e final look I got at him.... Him laying lifeless on the table as I walked away.

I can not express the feelings that I have. I feel sad, depressed, lonely, lost and guilty. I just really really pray that Rumbles knows how much he was loved and how much he will be missed. This decision was made so that he wouldn't be in anymore pain, regardless of the pain I feel now. I feel broken hearted. To make matters worse, his sister, companion and lifelong friend is walking around my house looking and crying for him. Breaks my heart.


As I said, I know this is completely off topic from Disney, but I just had to talk to someone.


RIP Rumbles 1991-2013. I love you more than you will ever know and I thank you for fighting to stay wi me for the last 21 years. I will never forget you.

 

[mchllevns]

So sorry for your loss......

 

[pumba]

thank you for coming over to this board...

The people here are so compassionate and some have lost their best friends too..

We had to put our Dalmatian to sleep one year and it was the hardest thing we have ever had to do...but we did it because we love our furbabies so much . They gave us so much love and your kitty did too...21 years of love and you gave Rumbles the best life ever..

I hope that you go and get a rescue kitten and love him or her like you did your cat...and maybe your older cat will bond with that one because they love to be loved ..

It does get easier...maybe not what you want to hear right now ...but it does...and our new dalmatian is almost 9 years old now...so we did get our the grief of loosing one.

 

[disneydee6]

I know your loss. This past week, we had to put my little pekingese down. We had my little "Ringaling" (as I called him) since I was 11 (I am now 25). He was almost 17 years old. It is such a tough decision. We hemmed and hawwed at the choice to put him down.

His back legs stopped working to the point he was sitting in his own defecation, he has frequent small seizures (every 20 seconds or so), and he was blind and deaf and whined all the time. We did everything we could to accommodate him. But we were told that if he keeps sitting and going to the bathroom, he would get an infection, and we didn't want to wait until he was in a lot of pain to make the decision. It was the hardest thing we have had to do.

We did the same as you, petted him, comforted him and were next to him during his last breaths. And like you, even after it was done, we feel like we could have done more, put up with his constant needs so we could have him longer. But then, we watched a few videos I had of him playing. Ring LOVED to play, he had this pink ball that was like a security blanket for him, so cute. In the video he's running around, barking, being silly, and the video was only from 2 years ago. It showed us how much his health had declined, how much he didn't enjoy all the things he used to (although even to his last day, boy did that dog love food!) and we had made the right decision.

I miss him like crazy, I walked in the door today, and my eyes went to the place where he would always sleep, and it was a sad reminder to see Ring and his bed gone. I miss hearing him snore in my room at night, (didn't think I would), I miss my baby. I remember when if he got yelled at (seldomly), we would go under my bed, his little butt sticking out. He was really good dog, he was so friendly and well behaved. He was full of little noises and was a member of the family.

He had outlived two other dogs we had.
When Ring was just a few years old, we had an older dog, Barney. And unfortunately, Barney died choking on his own vomit. And I was the one who had walked in, and I won't ever forget seeing it. Ringo was laying next to him, hours after the death, Barney's vomit on him. It was such a sad sight, but it was consolation to us that Barney had his little pekingese buddy by his side when he left this earth. They grieve just like we do. Your little kitty will be alright, just comfort her and know that she misses Rumbles too, your four legged friend and you can comfort each other in this time of loss.

I'm crying just writing all this. They may not be humans, but they are members of the family. Pets are such a wonderful part of life, and it's sad that we get such a short time with them. I'm sorry for your loss.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I'm sorry for both of you.

 

[Christine]

I'm sorry for the grief you must be feeling now. I've lost several of my pets to illness or old age and it can be quite devastating. You've had your cat for 21 years. That's a LONG time and the loss is going to create quite a void in your life. Just let it happen and pretty soon the sadness will lift a bit and you'll start having just the good memories. But it can be incredibly lonely at first.

The only "positive" thing I can say to you is I hope you can feel very happy in that you actually got to have your pet for 21 years and was a gift that was.

 

[mlegerto]

Thanks everyone. It is truly helpful to hear that others have felt the devastation that I am. People I know just don't seem to understand, getting comments like "we'll he was old" or "we'll he was just a cat I'm sure you'll be okay". Yes I know he was old...doesn't make it any easier. Yes I know he was a cat, but be was the best cat (in my eyes) who knew what I needed more than the humans in my life a lot of the time.

Animals are not just animals....this may be there physical form, but they have emotions and feelings and personalities that allow us to develop strong bonds with...same as a human.


Again, thanks everyone. I just keep trying to remind myself how much his health had deteriorated (when I look at photos from 2+ years ago I can see the massive change, I just didn't see it when it was in front of me because it happened so slowly and I spent so much time with him). I pride myself on the fact that I was able to satisfy everything in his life to make him (and his sister) live 21 years with me. The vet mentioned that his health issues must have been something that had been effecting him a long time, but with the love and happiness I gave him he didn't react or breakdown. Instead he fought to be with me until the pain was too much. I really hope this is true, it then means tha he loved me and that he knew how much I loved him,

 

[Mickey 2013]

I can not say enough how SORRY I am for you lose ,or anyone else that lost a pet of anykind.I know now the pain feels like it will never go away,as you get use too looking at a food or warter dish that use to be there isnt there any more, but I promise that each day that goes by it will get easier,you will never forget your pet,because if your like me you have 1000 of pics,vidoes , and a ton load of memories of your pet.Take your time to grieve for your pet,it took me a year but I did open my heart to another pet.Who I love just as much as I did my other pet.SO hang in there!!!!

 

[peabody58]

Our pets are unconditional love on a short term lease. You are so blessed to have had 21 years with your best friend. We recently let our baby schnauzer Gretel go after 10 years of the best snuggling any dog could give.

 

[mommasita]

I'm so sorry. It is extremely hard losing a pet, they become so valuable to us. Hugs to you.

 

[disneydee6]