i know this might not be what this board is for but please help!

[anonymous]

im 15 and i argue with my dad loads, we just dont get along and ever since i was younger he's slapped me if i don't listen, which i dont think has made me listen, infact i think its made things worse. we argued the other day and he pushed me on the floor and kicked me and really hurt me (it hurt me more inside beacuse i knew he wanted to hurt me iv been crying everyday since), now i said i was really upset about it and asked him why does he want to hurt me so much and both my parents just laughed at me and said "you've got it so bad havnt you" and "ill give you the childline number if you want" this has really upset me because i know this buy me the best of everything and my mum is always there for me, but it upsets me so much that my dad doesnt bother talking to me hes never there for me, he works hard and i know that but when he's not in work he's sitting upstairs on his computer (not doing work just playing games or surfing the web) not bothering with the family. (this is how the argument strated i tried telling him i didnt like the fact that he never spent time with us and he started screaming at me and saying it was none of my business) theres no1 i can talk to about this because my parents are turning my family against me, its not only making me feel really down its affecting my school work aswel. i really dont know where to turn next. please someone just give me some advice (i dont want to talk to teachers or anyone like that about it) but need help because im so down.

 

[LBelle]

This is what the child hotlines are for. I suggest you take it to them.

 

[ckckc2000]

This is a lot to take-I grew up in a house similar and it wasn't a good situation-now I'm grown and trying to get over it-I'm super involved with my kids

You need to realize that this may be something you can't change in your Dad-and need to leave him be-heck my Dad still spends hours away from the family on his computer

As for the abuse-if it escalates like that again-you really need to call the Child line-it needs to be addressed

Also-remember your almost there!! School will be over and done with soon-and you need to concentrate on your future,don't let it get away from you-focus on the positive and get those good grades so you can create your own great life that is waiting out there for you

as much as we want to change those we love it sometimes is beyond what we can do-just try and live your life and try and stay away from him-if that becomes impossible(the abuse) then you really need to call that help line

 

[anonymous]

thanks so much i will try to just stay out of the way, and it does hurt that we can't keep the relationship we have in disney , yeah it might sound stupid but hen we go to wdw it changes my whole family so much i just hope we can go sooner (i cant because of my exams and school). My dads a different person when he's there, but i bet everyone could say the the same thanks for the help xxx

 

[ckckc2000]

Hang in there-I spent many years as a teen praying for the time I could get away from a disfunctional family

You can do it too!!! Life can be great!!!(although not right now) and you can get thru this

I pray for you to be strong and that one day your Dad and you will have the relationship you desire

you sound like a great kid-don't let this change that!!!! Stress is such a bad thing-sounds like he escapes the stress while on vacation-or on the computer-sad but that's how some people are

Take care of yourself and stay safe

 

[Erie Islands]

First of all, anonymous, your coming to the DisBoard to talk was a great decision! The people here are great and it's my experience that everyone is very caring and compassionate. The key to getting through the next few years is to reach out to others that you can trust. I have a 15 year old daughter and I would hope she would do the same if she were in your situation. I grew up in a home where both of my parents were alcoholics. They never physically abused me, but I spent the better part of my day sitting alone in my room away from them. Just remember one thing...what your dad did is WRONG! Don't think for one second it is because of anything you did! He obviously has issues that only he can deal with and he's taking his anger out on you. If this situation gets worse, you will have to call the authorities or at the very least talk to a school councelor. Maybe you could try talking to your mom when he isn't around and in a calm and mature (which you seem to be) way, try explaining your feelings to her. I wish I had better advice for you...I will be praying for you.

 

[LBelle]

First of all, anonymous, your coming to the DisBoard to talk was a great decision! The people here are great and it's my experience that everyone is very caring and compassionate. The key to getting through the next few years is to reach out to others that you can trust. I have a 15 year old daughter and I would hope she would do the same if she were in your situation. I grew up in a home where both of my parents were alcoholics. They never physically abused me, but I spent the better part of my day sitting alone in my room away from them. Just remember one thing...what your dad did is WRONG! Don't think for one second it is because of anything you did! He obviously has issues that only he can deal with and he's taking his anger out on you. If this situation gets worse, you will have to call the authorities or at the very least talk to a school councelor. Maybe you could try talking to your mom when he isn't around and in a calm and mature (which you seem to be) way, try explaining your feelings to her. I wish I had better advice for you...I will be praying for you.

I totally agree that you can always come here, talk about what's going on and feel safe but please consider alerting someone locally who can help you, keep an eye on you, etc. That is why I suggested the kids helpline...they are a wonderful support.

Keep us updated on your situation please.

 

[anonymous]

yes i will keep you updated, you dont realise how much better i feel after you have said these things. your all such nice people. anyway i just found out my dad left for work in a bad mood this morning, and i know his job has been getting him down, my mum has thought he's depressed for some time now but he wont see anyone for help. he's a police man and has had to deal with telling 3 different families about the death of their sons today, which i understand can be really hard for him and i know he hasnt got the easiest job. i do feel really bad for him but i just feel as if he's taking it out on me. i just wish he would listen to me and my mum and go for help but we cant make him do anything. i really hope he realises soon. thanks for the help. but do you have any ideas on how i can make him get help? apart from just talking because that doesnt really seem to help.xxxx

 

[tmt martins]

Please get help and talk to someone.

If he is down because of what he is going through due to his job that should be all the more reason he should never do what he did to you.

He has anger issues and as a cop thats not a good thing.

As a father myself DD13 I would never think of raising a hand or kicking my DD .

Start making a life for yourself and like other stated don't do anything to provoke him. ( I can't believe I just said that you should not have to live like that ) Remind him of his duty is to protect you 1st like he is suppose to protect all other citizens in his job.

Come here on the DIS for anytime you just need to vent or get things off your chest .Many of us on here have been through the same thing and turned our lives around and have wonderful families now.

You future is bright and this IS NOT YOUR FAULT for what is happening to you.

 

[_tinkerbell_]

ok i know this must be really tough for you but im sure things will get better if you talk to someone soon, i understand where your coming from all families go through a lot of problems (including mine and im your age so i can understand) at some time and im sure you have good times with your dad and not only bad. i know you find it hard to talk to him so i dont think that will help at the moment, maybe you should try talking to him when he has time off work and is not so stressed, for now i think you should try an stay otu of his way maybe not even talk to him atall for a few days and he might realise what he's done, good luck and you can talk to anyone at the disboards if you feel down xxx

 

[LBelle]

I just love this board!!!!

 

[_tinkerbell_]

I just love this board!!!!

And me! we're like a big happy disney loving family!! lol!

 

[Stitchfans]

Honey, this is no good. Yes, you should call the Child Hot lines. Or at least talk to another adult you trust. I know you said you didn't want to talk to a teacher, but maybe he/she can help. Or maybe a counselor at your school.

Or maybe you have a grandparent or aunt or uncle you trust and who can help you. This shouldn't go on. I hope everything gets better, and I hope you continue to keep in touch with us.

 

[ellyn2000]

I agree with the above posters. You have got to tell someone you trust about this if it happens again. Think about some adult in your life that is not so closely related to your family talk to them. It may not be that there needs to be a huge "intervention", but your father may take seriously some input from a trustworthy third party. I, too, came from a home where things like this were the norm and I'm a perfectly happy, healthy adult. You will be alright in the long run, especially if a third party gets involved. I will be praying for you and your family.

 

[Deb & Bill]

You definitely need to talk to another adult, maybe a friend's mom or your teacher or someone who you think will help you and not make things worse. Your father's anger is wrong and he shouldn't be hitting or hurting you. In our house, nobody hits anyone else and that's been our rule for forever.

You probably don't want to antagonize him at all by talking back or ignoring him. That could only make it worse. Just try to get along with him and talk to someone who can help you there.

Your dad may also have problems at work or with something else that he's not sharing with the family, too.

 

[2poohbears]

Don't know if you're in the United States or Canada, but here is the link to ChildHelp USA. The phone # to call them is: 1-800-4-A-CHILD The phone call is free and anonymous.

http://www.childhelpusa.org/get_help