I know that this is......

[tiggereyore]

a personal debate but...

My husband and I had always said that we would have 3 children. We have 2 wonderful boys 5 and 2 3/4. I had been thinking on and off about the 3rd child for a yr. 2 weeks ago my husband wakes up and the 1st words out of his mouth is I'm getting old (he'll be 33 in dec) so if you want the 3rd child I'd like to be young enough to enjoy it. Well after I stumbled out of bed and made it through my shower all the while dumfounded, my only statement was IF we do I'm not even going to think about it till I'm at 150 (27 lbs to go). With the boys I didn't gain more than 20lbs and lost it within 2-3 months. I go back for my annual in Jan and she'd like to see me a size 10-12 (she's more interested in size than weight) I on the other hand want to be 150.
I guess that I'm wondering what happens with the 3rd, how much of a rucass and such, lifstyle changes and such.
With my history it could take 2 yrs or 3months, pycos you just don't know. The second DS she gave me Clomid but I ended up not needing it. I definately would not use it this time because of the chance of multiples ( we have room in the house for 1 but not more I guess it it happened on my own I'd find a way to add on arghhh) I know I need to get over this one on my own but my cousin now has and anglemans baby were before I never really thought about birth defects. I have 2 healthy kids do I really want to risk it
Can anyone give me any insight? I know this probably belongs on another board but my WISH friends are the most supportive.

 

[maryliz]

Hi Christy. Can't offer you any advice because we stopped after having 2 wonderful children. Just wanted to send you {{{HUGS}}} ... and to tell you that you should make sure that you are BOTH on the same page when it comes to making a decision like this one

Mary Liz

 

[Sue & Co.]

Hi, my DH was adament that we would only have two but lo and behold number 2 was twins so now we have three. I love them all BUT invariably two will play together (not always the same two) and one will be left out, so many things are based around a standard family of four it can be difficult, when you need to pair up an adult with a child for an activity by poor DS (being the eldest) loses out, when I am on my own with them only two can sit next to me, hold my hand etc...... These are all little things and I wouldn't be without my angels but if it is a choice then you need to think carefully.

JMHO

Sue

 

[Debbie]

Christy, this is such a biggie, isn't it? Mary Liz is right, though, you BOTH have to want another baby before bringing one into this world.

Sue has made some good points, too.

I have five of them, and I love them all. I can tell you that the third one was no trouble as a baby~in fact he slept through the night at the hospital, and regularly at 17 days. BUT, with 2 parents and 3 kids, 1 is always off to the side a bit. I would not have thought about the "family of four" syndrome, since we didn't travel then. You can do fine with five, though, in most instances-try for seven!

Oops! I wanted to add. Once you can do three, you can do anything because you get the juggling down to a fine art. But I wouldn't trade anyone of them....although sometimes, now that 3 of them are teens and the other two are just about there. . . .

Size-wise, I lost weight (down to 150) before I had number four, and then didn't lose it again. With the last, I told the doctor that that was my only concern. Not my age, just my weight. He reassured me, that while heavy, I was healthy, and all went well. I was close to 200 when I got pregnant, and actually did fine, not gaining much at all---until after she was born.

And as to belonging on another board? WISH is that support that you talk about, and we're glad that you are here!

 

[geetey]

Christy,
I have to agree with the others. This is a decision you and your DH have to make and agree upon. I know lots of happy families of different sizes - even one with 10 kids! I am the proud Mom of 2 kids, but I have a thing about even numbers and pairs. I was willing to do 2 or 4 kids. DH wanted 2 or 3. No 3 for me, no 4 for him, so we stopped at 2, and it works for us. And that is the key. What works for YOU. It's a tough decision! Good luck!

 

[pixiechick]

We stopped at one, although not by choice. I can probably guess some of your history! I also questioned tempting Mother Nature, and finally chose to discontinue treatment for fear I was pushing something that wasn't supposed to happen. In the end, I'm comfortable with our family size. Each family, regardless of size, has its pros and cons. As the others mentioned, the most important thing is both wanting another child. I can't give advice on how things change with more children. But, I think if you really want more children, the rest sorts itself out.

 

[Beanie]

I cannot answer this question for you either as we had to stop after having two children, also not by choice. I do agree though, this is a tough decision which has to be made between you and your husband!! I do want to wish you the best of luck though on whatever you decide to do!!

Hugs!

 

[tiggereyore]

We had another talk about this last night before I had the chance to get to all of you.
Levi the oldest had kindergaden orientation(?sp) yesterday and I was starting to feel bad about the spacing of the kids #1 and #2 are 2 1/2 yrs so this one would be a freshman in high shcool and Eric would be a senior and Levi a somphmore in college (nothing like looking down the road) Well after meeting some of the other familys it's not so bad 1 had a 9th, 4th and kinder. So I guess that took care of that point of view. We have decided to let it be until January when I have my apt with my ob/gyn and go from there I'm only 31. I know that if we could afford it I would go to russia and adopt. My best friend aunt did this and Gina is a beautiful little girl and there are so many kids there that need help. The basis for this is both DH and I are adopted (americanbirth parents and parents) I'd love to give a needy child a home.
On the weight issue I have 25 lbs left (lost 2 more) That means 5 lbs a month between now and Jan 30th appointment.
Thank you all

 

[Mickey527]

I wanted 4 children, my ex-husband didn't want any. So I have 3 boys. lol. Each one was a shock to us, not planned but once conceived very much wanted. three different types of birth control, 3 pregnancies.
Honestly, the women in my family are very fertile, my mom had 9 children, my sister had 3 boys. Unfortunately, my SIL's all had trouble conceiving and 2 have 0 children, 1 has 1 child, and 1 has 2 children, after much medications and other ways tried.
My boys are 26, 24, and 20 now. The older two got along very well and they took care of their baby brother. Now they are all very close, but fighting during growing up is normal. I remember my stupid older sister and the stuff she did to me.
But it is a decision you have to make with your husband. You have enough love to give to each of them, just make sure you have enough time for them without sacrificing yourself or your time with your husband.
And her is one thing that you might want to think about. It is harder and more expensive to book a room at WDW for 5 people, most of the rooms sleep 4. Peggie

 

[tiggereyore]

Peggie
I've got WDW covered, Fort Wilderness and our camper!!! We're actually going to up grade in the next 2 yrs to 3 or 4 bunk. My biggest fear is the age difference and how I'll handle being preganat at 31.32 than 26 and 28. and the chance of a birth defect. So on with the debate in my brain. The other thing we have to decide is how long to we try if we try I don't want to be a old lady when I have grand kids.!!!