i just needed to talk

[love8me]

sorry bout this but i just needed to vent out my frustration. been having problems with my bf and its so hard figuring things out. he easily gets irritated even if i'll just ask a simple question or say something that's been bothering me.

and i'm the type who is emotional (and i guess most of us women do ) ...he says i'm too emotional. i know i am 'coz i have a heart problem too. not my fault if i'm like this. i almost cried when he said "thx for finishing up a ****ed up day"

what i just told him is this "i thought you're going to drop by" and he says i'm so inconsiderate because i know he is busy. why can't we just talk........... simple talk leads to a big argument.

he said he was sad because he didn't get the chance to see me and when i said that i thought he will drop by, he gets mad at me... i don't know. it breaks my heart...his words are like daggers...

 

[Barb D]

Everyone has a bad day sometimes, but if he acts like this most of the time all I can say is, "Run! Run like the wind!" If he treats you like this now, think how it might be when/if you're married and he's not showing you his "good" side!

You can do much better than this. Not all guys are like this. Really. You don't have to put up with it.

 

[disneynutt1225]

Maybe it's time to move beyond someone who's causing you more pain than joy.

 

[paigevz]

Seems an over-reaction to a simple sentence there. Lots of frustration in him apparently. I really don't like the swearing........that puts so much more venom into what is said to me.

Sorry you're having a rough time with him.

 

[JadenLayne]

While all couples fight, it doesn't have to be like this. I say run too! My DH and I have been together for 17 years and we are still young (hes 33, I'm 34). Hes totally my best friend. Do we argue? Sure we do but its hardly ever a real argument. He is my best friend and my soul mate. I love him to the moon and stars.

I guess I'm saying don't settle! Arguments happen but not all the time!

 

[willis37862]

 

[Bbgrizzle]

Is your BF stressed about something? Work? Money?

DH has a stressful job, and if something is going wrong at work, he gets extra irritable. He doesn't cuss (I won't tolerate that), but he does get snippy with me.

Have you asked him why he is being so pissy with you? If so, what does he say? I hope you are letting him know that it isn't okay with you. Remember, you teach people how to treat you.

Good luck. I hope everything works out for you.

 

[kdudley3]

I've been married for 20 years. I've always stuck up for myself. I think that men respect it.

IMHO I'd tell him that the way he speaks to you offends you and that you've done nothing to deserve that kind of treatment. Then, I'd ask him if there is someting that is bothering him that he'd like to talk about.

Most men have a problem admitting that something is bothering them or something is beyond their control.

You need to create a basis of communication. He needs to know that you will not tolerate this behavior and you don't deserve it. Then work on your communication skills.

If he loves you as he should, he will try. If he won't try.....hit the ground runnin'.

Good luck to you.

 

[love8me]

thanks guys!

for me, its normal when you fight and its best when you communicate but in a way where you can point things out by not starting a fight or shouting or being aggressive.

i already told him that i'm allergic to swearing or whatever words that stinks...

 

[Luvchefmic]

Sorry kiddo, but the handwriting is on the wall here, a simple question leads to an argument...leads to emotional abuse, put downs, eventually no self esteem for you the fine line is a push/shove/escalating physical abuse....he's a BF get out now.......Love yourself, in this day an age there is nothing to be ashamed or afraid of, you deserve so much better

 

[AtlantaSue]

I know you probably weren't wanting everyone to say "GET OUT NOW," but I have to agree w/ the above posters. My first dserious BF behaved like yours. One day I just thought - this can't be right...And it isn't. PLEASE consider moving on to search for someone who truly loves you and knows how to treat you like a princess - that's what we ALL deserve, right?

 

[mickeyfan2]

If this is a common theme it is time to change the station.

 

[Liliyana]

Oh no honey, that sounds like my ex-boyfriend. I would assume he was coming by, because there was no reason for him not to (we lived 5 minutes away from each other)... he wouldn't, so of course I'd be hurt and ask him why. He'd explode! I did later find out what was going on, and that's why he is my EX I don't know your situation, but if by chance things end up not working out, I can attest that there really are sweet guys out there

 

[azgal81]

How long have you two been together for? Is this something that is very recent or has it been happening all the time? If it's fairly recent I would talk to him and see what is bothering him it's probably something bigger if you two are fighting over simple things. If this has been happening since you started dating I would end things. They are not going to get any better.

 

[love8me]

How long have you two been together for? Is this something that is very recent or has it been happening all the time? If it's fairly recent I would talk to him and see what is bothering him it's probably something bigger if you two are fighting over simple things. If this has been happening since you started dating I would end things. They are not going to get any better.

we have been together for almost 8 months now. he's my first serious bf.

if he did something, i usually keep quiet but eventually will tell him whats wrong and if i did tell him, he would then just say that he haven't done anything right

is it wrong to just open things up if it bothers you? i thought i'm doing the right thing, voicing out...

 

[Fionasmommy]

I'm so sorry, but I have to agree with the others - it may be time to move on. You should be together because you care about eachother and enjoy eachothers company. If you get to the point where either of you is unhappy more than you're happy, or you cheer yourself up recalling how things used to be - it's time to go. Everyone deserves to be treated with respect, and I'm sure there are plenty of guys who would be happy to be with you.

 

[KozmicLee]

Life is too short to have to compromise this way. I bet there are other guys out there just waiting to treat you the way you deserve to be treated, if your BF can't learn to appreciate you.

Good luck!

 

[azgal81]

we have been together for almost 8 months now. he's my first serious bf.

if he did something, i usually keep quiet but eventually will tell him whats wrong and if i did tell him, he would then just say that he haven't done anything right

is it wrong to just open things up if it bothers you? i thought i'm doing the right thing, voicing out...

I think communication is very important as well as telling him when something bothers you. I think if he knows something is bothering you he should try to fix it not turn it around and say he can't do anything right.

There is nothing wrong with talking when things are bothering you but he has to be wiilling to listen and make things better. Which it sounds like he's not.

I stand by my other post I think it might be time to move on as hard as that is.

 

[Rajah]

I'm sorry, sweetie, but I agree. Red flags are going up from this, and if this is common behavior with him, you'd be best off getting out now. *hugs* to you!

 

[RadioNate]

I agree with everyone else red flags alll around. He sounds insecure, manuplitative and potentially abusive. Big accusations I know but I've BTDT.

Your feelings become all about him. No I'm sorrys, just another pitty party.

Get out now. You deserve better.

Know yourself better and love yourself more, I think you'll see you don't need to be treated this way.