I just needed a place to pour out my heart

[TKERBELL]

I really don't expect any responses but all are welcome - I just needed to get some things off my chest -

I am a mom to 4 children (14,11,9 & 4) I work a part time job in the evening (M-TH 6p - Midnight) and a couple of hours on Sunday. It's a great job I do love it - I work in a call center as an inbound agent (I make NO solitation calls). My DH works full time during the day he is a IT PM working as a Gov't Contractor - Bottom line is that one of us is ALWAYS home for the kids - this works for us and we are very fortunate to be able to do this.

My biggest problem is that I gotten so tired as of late that I become almost lazy (no one has complained - this is just me)....I can't find the motivation to clean the house do the laundry or even fix a decent meal that doesn't involve the microwave (disclaimer - I mean no offense to anyone who does this)...I used to be able to do all of this and then some - I am also finding that I am smoking more than I used to and excersising less - again - I just am finding myself being lazy (my words not anyone elses) I am embarrassed about my house - I am embarrased about the way that I look (the weight I have put on).......

I used to be on anti-anxiety meds but they ceased working so Dr. & I aggreed that I could go with out them and see what happens - this was 2 years ago - I don't feel depressed or anxious I am actually very happy and content with my "station" in life - I just have lost my motivation for being active.....

Anyway - thanks for letting me vent and pour my heart out - and if anyone has any ideas they would like to share I will greatly appreciate it

I am sure that I could go on with more but I don't want to whine too much - and yes I like Monterey Jack Cheese to go with my Whine!!!!

Again thanks!!

 

[palmtreegirl]

Sounds like you're really burnt out, is there anyway you can take a vacation or at least a long weekend? I bet some down time alone with DH and the kids would help a lot.

 

[mickeyboat]

I find that I have a lot more energy when I get outside and exercise. Just walking 30 minutes a day really makes a difference for me. I think the weight gain has a lot to do with how you are feeling, and exercise will help with that as well.

Also, maybe you need to see your doctor again about a mild anti-depressant. I don't know much about that kind of thing, but I think it would be healthy to talk to your doctor about it.

Hope you are feeling up to your regular self again soon.

Denae

 

[disneygals]

I feel much the same as you a lot. I am 45, have 3 kids 13, 11, 9. I have lived in this house almost 14 years and I'm sick of cleaning it! Especially since it seems that I'm the only one that actually cares!

You say that your youngest is 4. Maybe you've just gotten to the point that you have a moment to relax! I know that I ran at 110% on no sleep for years and I think I'm just tired. Now if I can relax without feeling guilty!

 

[christinadei]

I sympathize with you. i feel the same way. I work full time and go to school and also have back problems. So it's a vicious cycle. I hurt, so I don't want to exercise, I just want to lay around. Which in turn makes me put on more weight, and that makes me hurt worse. I cant get out of the funk. My house is a mess and I keep gaining weight and hurting worse. So I know how you feel!

 

[minniecarousel]

When was the last time you had a physical exam? Maybe it's time to check things out. I agree - you sound like you're in "burn-out". You need some time for yourself - no - not to be "lazy", but time to take a walk or soak in a tub. If you just start taking short, brisk walks, you'll feel less lazy. Try menu planning. Do your kids have chores? (I remember it being easier to do stuff myself than to show my boys how to do things - I wished I'd taken the time to train them!) Take an afternoon to write stuff down on how to get more organized. Then try to implement them - don't try to "change" overnight - do these thngs gradually. It's not easy being a Mom to 4 kids & working more than half-time.

Hang in there.

 

[Rella Bella]

You say your oldest is 14... so I'm guessing your in the 35 to 40 range?? Now, don't shoot me!! But it sounds like it could be the beginning symptoms of Peri-menopause. The hormonal changes associated with "the Big M" begin long before we expect them. Changes like you mention can be part of it, also irritablility, sleeplessness, lack of energy...
So much fun awaits you... even before 'hot flash' is in your vocabulary! I'd recommend mentioning it to your OB... especially if your near or past 40.
There are a lot of things they can recommend -- other than just medication -- to help you feel better.

 

[Nancy]

I started to feel this way right around 40.....7 years later and it's gotten no better. I think most of it is I need to lose weight. The extra weight will really slow you down.

First thing I suggest is STOP smoking. Smoking kills brain cells, smoking knocks the oxygen intake into your body down. Maybe your iron level is low, mine was last year. Once I started eating better it went back to normal, low iron will make you lethargic. (at least it does me)

 

[MsDisney23]

I think sometimes all of us get into this rut! It can be overwhelming! I hope you feel better soon, like some said maybe a vacation and a good check-up. Keep us posted.

 

[Disney Doll]

I'd start with a physical to make sure there isn't anything physically wrong. Some things popped into my mind as I was reading your post:

Hypothyroid
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
Diabetes
Peri-menopause (depending on your age)
Depression

If you rule out physical causes, then move to emotional/psychosocial causes. You could be mildly depressed...depression isn't always a "big bang" thing, you know.

 

[vettechick99]

Oh gosh I get this way, on a smaller scale (lasts a few days instead of a few weeks/months).

You've gotten some great suggestions on this thread, so I'll just

 

[aprild]

I know how you feel, i feel that way sometimes too

But, i just found the funniest thread. It had me laughing so hard i was crying and i still can't stop laughing. It was really funny!

Just make a mental picture for yourself of all these crazy (including me) people!!!


http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=744641


Hope this makes you laugh!!

 

[Rajah]

I'd start with a physical to make sure there isn't anything physically wrong. Some things popped into my mind as I was reading your post:

Hypothyroid
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
Diabetes
Peri-menopause (depending on your age)
Depression

If you rule out physical causes, then move to emotional/psychosocial causes. You could be mildly depressed...depression isn't always a "big bang" thing, you know.

 

[Morganpics]

I understand how you feel. I was the same way and it was basically depression and obsessive/compulsive disorder. (Not saying that's your issue). I am on meds now, 3d week, and I actually feel better, have more energy, don't feel like sleeping most of my time at home. I DO need to get out and exercise. Even walking would be an improvement. I also need to lose weight. I have gone through menopause, and wish I had done something for myself earlier, rather than struggling with this for 5 years. Good luck to you. You have to care for yourself first.

 

[TKERBELL]

I would first like to begin with a BIG HUGE THANK YOU!!!!!

I suppose I do need to further explain some things - the 14 year old is my cousin - she lives with me and DH (we have legal custody of her) HER father and MY mother are brother and sister.....So yes having my own 3 DS's and then taking on someone elses child was a HUGE responsibility but one DH & I discussed EXTENSIVELY!!! That does not change my age - I am 36 so yes I am in the pre - menopause thing - I just had my annual exam 2 weeks ago and the only concern my Dr. had was that my total cholesterol levels were borderline as well as my "bad" cholesterol - he did mention that my white cells were down as well but he attributed it to me getting over a bout of a cold.

My Dr. did describe a new anti - anxiety med that I have not started (please no blasting - I know the more I think about it the more I may need to start them and sooner rather than later) I have been trying to avoid it - no reason just have....

To Nancy - I know that smoking is part of my problem (probably a HUGE part) as it depletes much needed oxygen from my blood that is needed for energy - I am a self admitted enabler DH smokes and I find it VERY hard to quit while he smokes - I have quit smoking before with great success and yet I find myself at a social event and whether or not I would drink I would have a smoke - I am not a drinker I do enjoy a social drink but since alcholism in inherent in my family I am very aware of the effects that can cause - I digress

I would love to take a break with DH (or even without) but he and I never seem to have the time or the money at the same time......LOL

Someone had suggested the schiff multivitemin for vegiterians with extra B so I am going to check into those.

Funny someone also mentioned making a list - I laugh because DH has been on me about that for about 6 mos. to that very thing....so I stared thinking....HHHHHMMMMMMM maybe there is something to the list thing -

Thank you all so very much for your support and for you kind thoughts and words - And I will keep you up to date on my "success"!!!

And April - I am going to check out the thread as soon as I post this !!!!

 

[grlpwrd]

Well, you know what to do then, right?

Really, what good is your job if it will cost you health-wise and financially (ie due to medical issues)?

You can do it!

 

[2buzzboys]

Your story sounds a lot like mine. I also work nights full time in a call center and dh works days so no babysitters are needed. I work till after 1am and dont get to sleep until 2am by the time a get home and take care of the dogs, and just wind down. I then have get up between 6:30am & 7am to get my 6yr old off to school.Then I have my ds3 with me for the day. I have gone through the same tired feelings. One things I did find out was I had low iron. You may want to try an iron suppliment and also a 1 a day vitiman. That gave me enough energy to get up and exercise after I dropped my son off at school. I still get days that are bad but that is probably due to lack of sleep now. Hope this helps.