I just made my neighbor mad...

[NHdisneylover]

You were right. Kudos to you for being clear about the situation from the get go It is easy to "let it go" once or twice and then it becomes a regular thing and is so much harder to put a stop to. Sounds to me like you dealt with the situation promptly and firmly but also politely. Don't let her bully you into changing your mind--it is so sad she is using her older son in this way (wether as a babysitter as many speculate or just preventing him from playing if the brother is not along for whatever reason).

 

[debbiecarr98]

My guess is the 8 yo is usually in charge of the 3yo while at home and when the "babysitter" is out playing Mom actually has to watch her other child. If the baby can't go with the babysitter then the babysitter has to stay home.

the mother doesnt want to watch the child because the child probably does.

 

[Kies99]

Sad for the kids, but you were right.

Wife and I both work full-time and have 2 DD's (7 and 6). This summer we hired a neighborhood girl to watch the kids. We have a very active neighborhood where everyone gets along and knows everyone else (as an example, when you see a tiki torch in someone's front yard in the morning, there's a block party there that night! ).

ANYWAY....one of the rules we set was that no kids are allowed in our yard without whoever is responsible for them being there as well. It's not fair to the girl we hired to have to watch someone's elses kid(s). We also stated that we also expect her to be with our kids when they go to any of the neighbors yards. It's only fair.

 

[luvmy3]

OP I hate neighbors like that who think that someone else should be responsible for their children. 3 years old is way too young to be out without supervision and it is not your job to babysit for that lazy poor excuse for a parent next door. The sad part is she'll be crying *why, oh why* when something happens to her child, or sues you when it happens on your property. You are so much better off with neither of them at your house.

Can you tell I have had my share of ***hole neighbors

 

[ajk912]

I would feel the same way, and I would not watch the 3 year old.

In our neighborhood, there are about 6 of us with kids. Of the group, most of the kids are 7 and older. I have the youngest, and she is 5. I watch her very closely, and make her stay within my eye distance. But, the other kids wander from house to house (still within a few houses, it's a cul-de-sac, almost zero traffic). The parents are all friendly.

Well, one of the neighbors has some kids over every weekend. I have never met the babysitter/mom/dad/whoever is in charge of these kids. Well, the kids want to play with the other kids so they start running through the yards to play, too. I don't mind the older boy, he's 8, but no way am I ok with the 4(ish) looking boy in my backyard unsupervised. I only loosely watch the kids out there...I will be doing dishes, laundry, whatever, and peak out there every few minutes to yell accordingly. My 5 year old knows what she is allowed to do, and if she breaks the rules she knows she has to come inside till I can go out with her. I am NOT taking responsibility for a 4 year old, sorry. I have things to do when the kids are outside, I am not sitting out there watching a preschooler.

 

[Rora]

You are certainly right.

 

[Mermaid02]

Thanks guys. I agree that it is sad for the kids- but I can not be responsible for a toddler.

And listen to THIS- last fall my son and the older child were outside (our yards abut and they were going back an forth between the 2) all of a sudden I heard someone SCREAMING at the kids) I went out and said "What is going on?" My son just said "Nothing" but the other boy said, "My Mom was yelling at us for not watching Joey and he was in the road" so I said, "Oh REALLY? Well it's NOT up to Jack or you to watch Joey- that's a PARENT'S job" I suppose I should have just spoken for my son- but it ticked me off to hear her yell at those boys for not doing HER job. Keep in mind too that the little boy was only 2 1/2 at the time.

I have this terrible fear that I will be backing out of my driveway some day and the little guy will run behind my car...

 

[OceanAnnie]

Thanks guys. I agree that it is sad for the kids- but I can not be responsible for a toddler.

And listen to THIS- last fall my son and the older child were outside (our yards abut and they were going back an forth between the 2) all of a sudden I heard someone SCREAMING at the kids) I went out and said "What is going on?" My son just said "Nothing" but the other boy said, "My Mom was yelling at us for not watching Joey and he was in the road" so I said, "Oh REALLY? Well it's NOT up to Jack or you to watch Joey- that's a PARENT'S job" I suppose I should have just spoken for my son- but it ticked me off to hear her yell at those boys for not doing HER job. Keep in mind too that the little boy was only 2 1/2 at the time.

I have this terrible fear that I will be backing out of my driveway some day and the little guy will run behind my car...

That's awful! That poor baby and the boy!

 

[MushyMushy]

Wow, she sounds like a piece of work. I feel very strongly about not forcing a sibling to take care of a younger one. I think you did the right thing. I bet it'll resolve itself fairly soon when mom gets tired of the older one nagging her to death to be allowed over on his own.

 

[RitaZ.]

And listen to THIS- last fall my son and the older child were outside (our yards abut and they were going back an forth between the 2) all of a sudden I heard someone SCREAMING at the kids) I went out and said "What is going on?" My son just said "Nothing" but the other boy said, "My Mom was yelling at us for not watching Joey and he was in the road" so I said, "Oh REALLY? Well it's NOT up to Jack or you to watch Joey- that's a PARENT'S job" I suppose I should have just spoken for my son- but it ticked me off to hear her yell at those boys for not doing HER job. Keep in mind too that the little boy was only 2 1/2 at the time.

I have this terrible fear that I will be backing out of my driveway some day and the little guy will run behind my car...

Parents like that blame other people when bad things happen.

My next door neighbor was the same way. Her children are now older teens, but when they were little, she tried to dump them on me numerous times. There are several "fun" stories that I could tell, but I'll only share one. We have these huge decorative rocks in our front yard. Anyway, my neighbor's children and their friends liked to climb and walk on the rocks. Whenever I saw them, I told them to get down and not do it again. One day, one of her daughters was walking on the rocks (must have been 4 or 5), fell and ended up fracturing one arm. Turns out that her father and another neighbor were outside talking when this happened. Get this, the girl's mother came over to ask me if I heard her daughter screaming and why I didn't help her when she fell on my rocks. Forget the fact that she didn't watch her kids. Forget the fact that her useless husband was there when it happened.

I stopped speaking to them years ago. It's better that way.

 

[JessicaR]

You were absolutely right. Years ago I had a similar problem. My son's friend used to show up at our house to go swimming. One time he showed up with his little sister. I called the mom to say she had to come down to watch her in the pool. She said her son can watch her in the pool. Um NO!

 

[Mermaid02]

You were absolutely right. Years ago I had a similar problem. My son's friend used to show up at our house to go swimming. One time he showed up with his little sister. I called the mom to say she had to come down to watch her in the pool. She said her son can watch her in the pool. Um NO!

Isn't that a terrible burden to put on another child? I just can't imagine.

We have a swingset- a treehouse and a nice fenced yard out back. Great for 12 and 8- but only for a 3 year old with adult supervision.... We also have an 11year old dog- never nipped or growled, but she's old and she just might at some point. If I wanted to watch a 3 year old, I'd have one thanks.

 

[Disney Doll]

You are right. She is wrong. She is a user. Stand your ground.