I just got a letter....

[CRB#33]

....addressed to my mom. She died 16 years ago. It really upset me beause it's a "newspaper article" supposedly sent by a friend. The letter has a post-it note stuck to it with a handwritten note that says, "Marion, I thought this would interest you, give me a call. J. " In the article is a phone number of a bank that will give you better interest rates on CDs.

It just got me so riled. This was sent first class with no return address in a normal envelope.

I can't stand when people do this. It just still hurts. I know it's just a sales letter, but to personalize it so much when they don't even know she's dead is such an insult.

Part of me wants to call the number and vent, but I'm afraid, I'll get charged for something.

Ahhh yuck.

 

[letfuller]

I can only imagine how difficult it would be to receive a letter like that. It amazes me how there are those that feed off of the families of those who have lost loved ones. I just heard a story on the news about stolen identities of those that have just died.

Instead of focusing on those that sent the letter, switch your thoughts to your mother. How would she have reacted to receive this? Would she have laughed, been enraged? Think of your mother and how wonderful she was, versus giving this person, or company all your energy...

 

[MAGICinMYHEART]

Vent away,

You have a right, that is just tacky for someone to do...You need to call J and give him/her a few vented words.

Then I read what letfuller said and that would be a better idea.

 

[CRB#33]

Wow. Thank you. Sometimes when you're in the midst of something, it's hard to see clear. But what a wonderful idea.

Thank you

 

[Blondie]

My SIL is still getting mail addressed to her son who died in May in a car accident.

How are you supposed to have closure when things like that keep happening?

 

[always quiet]

My mom passed away in 1997 and I still get mail addressed to her...or a phone call asking for Mrs. Kirk. Depending on my mood, I sometimes tell them "I don't think she can come to the phone. She passed away 7 years ago. If she does come to the phone, I don't want to be here!" Try and chalk it up to a horrible computer glitch!

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

<font color=navy>Hugs. I like what letfuller said - don't focus on the letter, but on the opportunity to spend some time reflecting on Mom.

 

[dmfuru]

About a year after my grandfather's passing I got a phone call from a real estate company. I asked who was calling and she said a friend from whatever real estate company. I told her that if she was truly his friend then she would have know that my grandfather had passed away a year ago. Needless to say she was speechless.

Thinking back, I should have called back and talked with her supervisor. I was so angry that I'm sure I would have gotten her fired.

 

[luv2nascar]

hugs

 

[grinningghost]

I don't blame you for being upset. That's really low.

 

[Poohnatic]

Hugs. I totally understand the frustration. I was getting calls for my dad a few years after he had passed (I had all his mail forwarded to me, and somehow, someone got my number).

I got a phone call from a Montgomery Ward service, asking for him and when I told the woman he was deceased, she wanted to sell the service to me. I said no, I'm not old enough to participate in the service, and still she tried to sell. Really annoying.

Suzanne

 

[janette]

If they have a return envelope just put it back in write a note and send it back. You can also call the number and explain that you received the letter and would appreciate them removing your father from their list.

Only companies that a person had an active account with are usually notified in the event of them passing. Several companies use dormant accounts to try to get customers back or for other marketing purposes. There isn't a way for them to know and most do their best not to upset someone.

 

[disykat]

I would call and talk to the number about the sales tactics that are being used. They'll only stop if they get enough complaints. I'm sure you felt horrible - I can only imagine that this is not an uncommon occurance. Maybe you could help stop it from happening to someone else.

 

[iNTeNSeBLue98]

OMG CBR#33,

How awful.

It's some sort of chain letter or advertisement. Two of the buyers in my office received the same thing- only it looked like a page from a magazine. The post-it note was identical- addressed specifically to them, signed by J.

Was the plain white envelope typed without a return address? Does the barcode have a California zip? If so sounds like the creepy ones we got. Very weird.

 

[chager]

My grandfather passed in 1982 and just last year my grandmother received something addressed to him. Not sure exactly how they came up with his name associated with her current address but they did. G-ma was really upset. I want to say it was something tax related. I remember my dad had to fax proof of death items!

On a lighter note.. I remember my other grandma trying to obtain some legal documents and the application required her parents current address. She called and told them both her parents were deceased and had been for some 30 years or so. They were adament...they needed a current address! She finally said fine and put the cemetery address with their plot numbers. She then received a phone call asking her why she did that and the person said "All you had to do was put they were deceased" The words grandma said are not repeatable on a family forum.