I have been sentenced to Disney-Time out :(

[larryz]

I know how you feel. So we've got a deal -- I send my wife to Europe with DD, and I take DS to DLR. Later this year, both DD and DS want to go to WDW.

 

[Laketravis]

Dear Abby, Dear Abby, you won't believe this,

My stomach makes noises whenever I kiss.

I asked the opinion of a forum called DIS,

They told me to be happy and just make a wish.

A wish that just 3 might turn into more,

And if that wasn't good enough well then there's the door.

Dear Abby, Dear Abby, what should I do?

Some say counseling, some say abstinence is the right thing for you.

But an Internet forum of strangers who care,

Might not be the venue for someone who's dared

To mention they may never return to the land,

That once long ago might have made them feel glad.


.

 

[kimmar067]

Thanks all! To answer some of the posts, in no special order:

1- GO GATORS!
2- With the exception of our last trip in December, all money for the trip is saved, so nothing goes in CC. I offer the spa and a resort with a balcony, but she refuses.
3- I think the hardest part is the fact that my daughter and I have those trips and truly enjoy them, but cant take them now. She loves them so much that she wants to be an Imagineer one day. We always book Dine with an Imagineer for that purpose.
4- Marriage Counseling. We are actually in counseling, but for another reason. We bought a new house in August 2014 and moved my mother-in-law in. That move has created some friction because she is a hoarder and I am a pain when it comes to disorder. To be honest, I am hoping that we can move into other things like this. Maybe.
5- I see other mentions of separate vacations, and that is something that we have tried in the past. I am actually OK with it, but she decided that its not for her. Still, when I see other couples at Disney, I end of missing my wife terribly. She gets mad at me for not enjoying myself while I am there. lol

Cant think of anything else.

Thanks all!

....talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place....YIKES! But I understand completely because my DH feels the same way, although not to the extreme as in your situation. Just today, a friend of mine and her DD, and I went to a craft show and when we got back, we were talking about WDW in front of my DH; she suggested we do a 'girls only' visit. Of course, he'd let me go, but then he'd be miserable at not going himself...

 

[GATORinaZ28]

Agree 100% - sounds like there are so many more important issues that y'all are facing, that the Disney trips are just the 'tip' of the iceburg!

A message board is no place for marital advice, period!!! Maybe you are somewhat immature and have some growing up to do! Seems the wife is 'shouldering' most of the burden. Money may be 'saved' but better saved for more important matters and the wife knows that.

lolwut? First I stated numerous times that I wasn't looking for advice, just simply sharing my sadness. Sorry you missed it. Second, thank for calling me immature and accusing me of not taking care of my wife (of 15 years). lol

 

[kimmar067]

It's none of our business, but maybe she is right. It might be worth a trip to a financial advisor and have them break down your financial situation. They can sit down with you, help you focus on retirement, savings, budgets, etc. so if her financial concerns are viable it might shed some light on the situation. If her concerns are unjustified, maybe hearing it from a professional might help.

Counseling may be needed as well, but there are too many variables we don't know. I mean, no offense but we're only hearing your side of the story. Her side may be that ya'll have credit card debt to your ears, two car notes, struggle to meet monthly debt payment requirements yet every two years you're shoving off to WDW with DD while she stays home and works two jobs to pay the bills.

Obviously, I'm using hyperbole but be open to finding the true root of the problem. If it isn't financial, ask her for another shot and dedicate parts of the trip to truly doing stuff she likes. It may mean sacrifice on your part and missing out on some park days, but she has to like something Orlando and the these mark areas have to offer (sports, shopping, dining, recreation, water parks, etc)

.....I agree - those are valid points of which I am not going to argue. However, I cannot begin to tell you how many times I've heard' "I wish I had..." Don't underestimate the value of spending quality time with a son or daughter....too bad the OP's wife doesn't see it that way. Everything, including vacations, can be done - in moderation, and with a set budget. I took the wife's digging her heels in as just a cop-out - for what, exactly, I am not sure, but I am not a professional and certainly am not qualified to diagnose it.....OP, good luck.

 

[kimmar067]

Wow! This is truly a sad situation with no immediate solutions....so sorry. My motto is "life is short"! Mature individuals, with good coping skills, support individuality in a relationship. In a healthy relationship one person supports the others interests and wholeheartedly desires the other to be happy and joyous. It seems this isn't the case with your wife. It puts you in between a rock and a hard place because if you make a decision to go...she'll probably make your life pretty unpleasant for going against her desires. On the other hand....how much do you and your daughter sacrifice for her "fears" and "insecurities". It is a question only you can answer. Good luck...and remember...you only live once!

....OMG, that's exactly what I basically said in my other post....I swear I did not read this first!

 

[mousehockey37]

My wife is quite upset with me about the trips my daughter and I take to Disney. My wife hates the place and doesn't want anything to do with it. My daughter and I love it and try to go every few years, though I pushed it with a few extra trips recently, thus earning the time out.

I try to go places she wants to go as well, but 9 times out of 10, she cancels the trip for some reason (doesn't think we should spend the money, possible future medical costs, etc).

I am hoping to somehow convince her to let us go in December 2016, but that is a battle I am not prepared to fight yet. So now I just sadly read these boards and get jealous of everyone. I left all the Facebook groups I was in since it made me sad as well.

Not sure why I am posting it...just to pass along my feelings to those that would understand I guess.

Thanks!

Haven't read the replies, but if you're paying with YOUR money then she has no say. If the trips are being paid for by a bank account without her name on it, then to Disney you go. It also might be time, if she treats you like a kid (in time out?) that maybe you look for someone else. No one should ever be with someone that limits them.

 

[GATORinaZ28]

Time out was my wording.

 

[smiths02]

Haven't read the replies, but if you're paying with YOUR money then she has no say. If the trips are being paid for by a bank account without her name on it, then to Disney you go. It also might be time, if she treats you like a kid (in time out?) that maybe you look for someone else. No one should ever be with someone that limits them.

Neither DH or I would drop a few thousands bucks without telling the other nor leave the other to go on a trip with no input from the other.

OP, I got the idea of your original post. It just stinks that your spouse feels this way right now, and you were venting.

 

[mousehockey37]

Neither DH or I would drop a few thousands bucks without telling the other nor leave the other to go on a trip with no input from the other.

OP, I got the idea of your original post. It just stinks that your spouse feels this way right now, and you were venting.

Sounds like the spouse has felt this way all along. Doesn't want anything to do with the place, ever. So to deny a trip (actually go and cancel it) is wrong and yeah, love is love, but if there's no understanding, then maybe it's time to move on. I was brought up with being told of letting no one stand in the way of what you want. If that want is Disney, then I'm going... I'm paying for it, so I'm gonna go. Luckily, I'm with a Disney diehard, so I don't have that problem.