I have another question for discussion....

[vivilasvegas]

Say someone agreed to lend you some money for a down payment. (a family member) Then you call them to say that you need the money. (they knew you'd need it by the end of the week) And they said sure, let me call you back. And they didn't call back and aren't answering their phone.

Now, I know no one has to lend money if they don't want to, but if someone promised but then can't, couldn't they at least let the person know they weren't able to send the money anymore? Especially if the person was counting on it?

Now this isn't happening to me, but now I'm helping the person who needs the money out. That's fine by me, but I think her brother should have at least called her to let her know the deal was off?

 

[Pop Daddy]

I think everyone is lying

 

[vivilasvegas]

I think everyone is lying

probably!!

 

[palmtreegirl]

I really don't think anyone should borrow money for a down payment.

 

[vivilasvegas]

I really don't think anyone should borrow money for a down payment, especially from a friend.

That's not the question though. And that's been settled between us.

 

[can'twait]

Some people are funny like that. Maybe he changed his mind and didn't have the guts to say it?

 

[vivilasvegas]

Some people are funny like that. Maybe he changed his mind and didn't have the guts to say it?

That's what I'm thinking, but I'm not gonna say it!!

 

[Honu]

It's not good manners to avoid her, but it can be really hard to say no when someone you care about asks for a loan. I'd leave him a message saying she understands if he can't help, she has no hard feelings and she wishes him a happy new year.

 

[vivilasvegas]

It's not good manners to avoid her, but it can be really hard to say no when someone you care about asks for a loan. I'd leave him a message saying she understands if he can't help, she has no hard feelings and she wishes him a happy new year.

She did. She's a good person. It was just something I was pondering...

 

[barkley]

since technicaly (per most mortgage lending laws) down payment money from a thrid party must be "gifted" (with no intent or expectation of repayment) and paperwork written up by both parties agreeing to such (otherwise it has to be shown as a loan for debt to income ratio purposes and can preclude qualification for the mortgage) maybe the brother does not want to be put in a position of having a "loan" that can never be legaly enforced.

i remember when we were shopping for our first home and several realtors suggested we get monetary gifts from our parents so we could qualify for a larger home or a lower monthly payments we were shocked that anyone would ask their parent to do this. the realtors then smiled and said it was rarely ever a true gift the monies were usualy always loans written up this way (we did'nt-we figured if we could'nt afford the down payment we could'nt afford the house).

 

[vivilasvegas]

It's not a down payment for a house, it's not a huge amount of money....I didn't think I really needed to list all these details.

I was just asking the question, if you agree to something, then decide to back out, shouldn't you let the person know? I would.

 

[bettyann29]

I agree that he should at least let her know that after thinking about he is unable to help.. Thats the decent thing to do..

 

[barkley]

i agree the person should let them know they can't loan the money. i would just have to wonder if the person never realy agreed to it in the first place and it was more of a "maybe" which the borrower then believed was a sure thing (or the alternative which i've seen happen far too many times wherein one sib automaticly "knows" thier sib will loan them money-not even discussing it with them-and then puts them on the spot in asking for it, and in some cases badgering them for it. sometimes the "lender sib" has no recouse but to not answer the phone and avoid the other sib who will not hear "no" for an answer).

i feel for you being in the middle of it-but i would caution you not to loan anything based on one person's word that money is coming from another source.

 

[vivilasvegas]

i agree the person should let them know they can't loan the money. i would just have to wonder if the person never realy agreed to it in the first place and it was more of a "maybe" which the borrower then believed was a sure thing (or the alternative which i've seen happen far too many times wherein one sib automaticly "knows" thier sib will loan them money-not even discussing it with them-and then puts them on the spot in asking for it, and in some cases badgering them for it. sometimes the "lender sib" has no recouse but to not answer the phone and avoid the other sib who will not hear "no" for an answer).

i feel for you being in the middle of it-but i would caution you not to loan anything based on one person's word that money is coming from another source.

Oh no, I know she's not getting the money from her brother. That's why she asked me. Without going into details, let's just say I'm satisified with our agreement.