I hate teacher conferences!

[minkydog]

There is nothing like a teacher conference to make me feel totally inadequate as a mother. I have a child who is completely average. Bless her heart, she has never been first at anything. She is delightfully a B-C student and one of the nicest kids on the block.She sings, dances, plays oboe in her band, and performs in theater. She's a good friend and helps teach Sunday school to the younger kids. She's lots of fun but a so-so student. She'll make a good mom someday.

I met with her reading teacher today, who was for the most part complimentary. DD13 is passing everything but algebra, and I can't help her there. She showed me DD's test scores from last spring and she passed everything--by 2-10 points. The teacher says we need to be concerned because she has to pass the GA 8th grade test in the spring(this is the first year for that). If she doesn't pass, then she has to go to summer school for the whole month of June and re-take the test. If she passes, she goes to high school. If not...

If DD13 weren't having such a great time, i'd pull her out and homeschool her. This test has got us both in a dither. DD has never tested well on multiple choice tests. She does fine with fill-in-the-blank or even essay questions. But multiple choice, no. To her, all the answers look kinda right. She can make a case for every one of them, unless they are just absurd. Not only that, but if she has to do summer school that really cuts into our family time. We only get 10wks off for summer break as it is. I am very tempted to let her stay in school until Spring Break, then pull her out prior to testing. Then I can re-enroll her in High school in 9th grade--homeschoolers don't have to take that stupid test.

Why can't we just skip past all the school and get on with life? i need a Xanax...

 

[All American]

Would it be possible to get a math tutor? I am TERRIBLE at math, and my parents had to enroll me in an afterschool/weekends tutorial place before the ACT's. To this day I still remember that "a parallelagram is a rectangle that got caught in the wind." Another thing my parents did for one of my brothers (my whole family stinks at math) was hire a girl they knew who was in college to come and tutor him there. Good luck. Testing is no fun.

Just wanted to add that these places also help with test-taking strategies. If worse came to worse for me on a multiple choice and I had to guess (which happened often). I'd plug in each answer to the question and go from there. It took forever but worked.

 

[Mermaid02]

I hear ya! Our conference last week was less than stellar. Missing assignments have made his grades plummet. He has several issues and we are doing the best we can. I fought with him for 45 minutes tonight to try and get him to do his math. This is his worst time of the day- his meds have worn off and he's pretty hateful.

 

[mrsv98]

What about something like a Kaplan tutor? Rather than teach math, they can teach her how to take the test. When I had to take the dreaded GREs, I took a Kaplan course and we spent loads of time dealing with multiple-choice questions. We learned how to look at an answer and strike out the wrong ones, then deal with the sorta right ones.

Man, I hate all the pressure out on the students/teachers/schools when it comes to standardized testing and federal money.

 

[JoyG]

I agree, a math tutor would be so much easier than pulling her out of school before the test. Plus, when she learns how to do algebra she will get such a boost of confidence.

I was always bad in math during high school. My pre-calc teacher told me to drop his class. Actually his exact words were, "Get out now while the getting is good."

But one year I had a math teacher who was awesome and offered lots of extra help classes after school. I actually was able to get a 94 in that class. I never thought it would be possible...but with extra help anything is possible.

 

[EeyoreFan1]

There is nothing like a teacher conference to make me feel totally inadequate as a mother. I have a child who is completely average. Bless her heart, she has never been first at anything. She is delightfully a B-C student and one of the nicest kids on the block.She sings, dances, plays oboe in her band, and performs in theater. She's a good friend and helps teach Sunday school to the younger kids. She's lots of fun but a so-so student. She'll make a good mom someday.

I met with her reading teacher today, who was for the most part complimentary. DD13 is passing everything but algebra, and I can't help her there. She showed me DD's test scores from last spring and she passed everything--by 2-10 points. The teacher says we need to be concerned because she has to pass the GA 8th grade test in the spring(this is the first year for that). If she doesn't pass, then she has to go to summer school for the whole month of June and re-take the test. If she passes, she goes to high school. If not...

If DD13 weren't having such a great time, i'd pull her out and homeschool her. This test has got us both in a dither. DD has never tested well on multiple choice tests. She does fine with fill-in-the-blank or even essay questions. But multiple choice, no. To her, all the answers look kinda right. She can make a case for every one of them, unless they are just absurd. Not only that, but if she has to do summer school that really cuts into our family time. We only get 10wks off for summer break as it is. I am very tempted to let her stay in school until Spring Break, then pull her out prior to testing. Then I can re-enroll her in High school in 9th grade--homeschoolers don't have to take that stupid test.

Why can't we just skip past all the school and get on with life? i need a Xanax...

NO FAIR! I'd do ANYTHING to go to the school once or twice a week, have one on one with the teacher, and that's my schooling. I hate school. I hate other people, and I am NOT social. If only, if only.. I want to be homeschooled so bad.

And don't worry about it, my parents completely flip if I don't get all A's.. I have been in the gifted and talented program all my life, and math is NOT easy, I feel your daughters pain 100000000000000% Were on the same boat. But I guarntee she will do better if you don't nag her constantly about her grades. My parents do, and the anxienty about thinking I'm going to do bad, causes me too. I'm sure your doing a great job, and she seems like a great kid, she will click with it soon. Hugs from a 13 year old math struggler.

 

[slo]

Lots of hugs for you and your DD

I don't have any advice to give but I do have a lot of PD to send your way

Good luck with your decision. I'm sure that whatever you decide will be write for you, your DD, and your family.

Keep us posted

 

[powellrj]

Do you have a local college that offers tutors? We have used ours before and had great luck.

Good Luck and hang in there, its really hard......

 

[dmslush]

NO FAIR! I'd do ANYTHING to go to the school once or twice a week, have one on one with the teacher, and that's my schooling. I hate school. I hate other people, and I am NOT social. If only, if only.. I want to be homeschooled so bad.

And don't worry about it, my parents completely flip if I don't get all A's.. I have been in the gifted and talented program all my life, and math is NOT easy, I feel your daughters pain 100000000000000% Were on the same boat. But I guarntee she will do better if you don't nag her constantly about her grades. My parents do, and the anxienty about thinking I'm going to do bad, causes me too. I'm sure your doing a great job, and she seems like a great kid, she will click with it soon. Hugs from a 13 year old math struggler.

Bless you heart! I can't imagine the stress you are under. Have you thought about having one of your counselors at school talk to your parents, or do you think it might just make it worse?

We seem to be a society that is driving our children insane with having to be the best at everything. What ever happened to just try your hardest?

 

[Pigeon]

Let me preface this by saying that I think we do far too much testing and weight the tests much too heavily, but that's the No Child Left a Dime for you.

But, testing aside, if it were me, I'd pay for a tutor if I couldn't tutor the child myself. She is only 13 years old. Why limit her future roles to "being a good mother" at this point in her life? You don't really know where her interests and talents could develop. Algebra really isn't all that difficult.

 

[chris1gill]

Let me preface this by saying that I think we do far too much testing and weight the tests much too heavily, but that's the No Child Left a Dime for you.

But, testing aside, if it were me, I'd pay for a tutor if I couldn't tutor the child myself. She is only 13 years old. Why limit her future roles to "being a good mother" at this point in her life? You don't really know where her interests and talents could develop. Algebra really isn't all that difficult.

I completely agree with Pigeon on this, she may be a mathematician someday! At 12 I didn't have anyone in the home that could help me with algebra, so I had to drop it & start it again when I was 15... funny enough I'm working with my 11 year old & have been for the last week on... you guessed it, ALGEBRA!! He's lucky he's got a mom that went through that block twice & got it on the second time.

If I'd had a tutor, or someone who could have sat one on one with me in those early days at age 12, I would have gone on much more quickly than delaying for two years and starting over.... but my point is, what she isn't good at this year she may be much much better at two years from now, but right now you've got to get her over the learning barrier.. If you can't afford a tutor, can your DH or family friend/relative help with the algebra?

 

[rie'smom]

Let me preface this by saying that I think we do far too much testing and weight the tests much too heavily, but that's the No Child Left a Dime for you.

But, testing aside, if it were me, I'd pay for a tutor if I couldn't tutor the child myself. She is only 13 years old. Why limit her future roles to "being a good mother" at this point in her life? You don't really know where her interests and talents could develop. Algebra really isn't all that difficult.

I hope you donned your flame suit. What an ignorant thing to write! It just so happens that I'm a stay at home mom and I love it. This lifestyle allows me time for volunteer work @ DD's school and in the community.
BTW,my IQ is 151 and I don't consider my choice a limitation in any way.

 

[Becky2005]

Hmm...I agree with the others. Just a question out of curiosity, is she good at Geometry?

I ask this because everyone I ask, if they were good at Algebra stunk at Geometry and those that aced Geometry stunk at Algebra. It's my totally unscientific research.

I'm just thinking maybe she's stuck with Algebra so a tutor would be a good thing.

I'm good at Algebra and passed Geometry by the skin of my teeth and that was with a LOT of work! I got a D in the class but way back then they counted that as passing and allowed me to take college Algebra (I think I would have had to get a C now). I was never so proud of a D in my life (never got one before or after either but I WORKED hard for that D!!!), I got an A the next year in College Algebra without working 1/2 as hard but my boyfriend at the time barely survived it, so I helped him a lot so he could take Calculus (no way was I going to do that!).

This was in High School and I was looking at my DD's school & to this day they do it the same exact way where you get Algebra I, then Geometry, THEN Algebra II, then Calculus...I don't have a clue why you can't just do Algebra I & II and skip that icky Geometry and vice versa for the kids that Algebra is difficult for but they sail through Geometry.

Anyway, good luck...I know the feeling -- parent/teacher conferences are difficult, my DD usually gets the "great student want lots like her" and DS's usually get the "we have many problems here, here & here" -- they never want more than 1 of them.

Once we get to middle school though we don't do parent/teacher conferences unless the parent wants one. I've never asked for one for my DD yet as it hasn't been necessary.

 

[minniecarousel]

See - I didn't "get" Algebra (what's with the letters in with the numbers?!) but I loved Geometry!

I say: hire a tutor - it'll be $$ well spent. Also, look into a class on test-taking. I think the Sylvan-type tutoring centers might be able to help with her test-taking anxiety.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Get her a good math tutor!!!!

My dd has one. She used her for 9th grade algebra and now is using the tutor for Geometry.
It really helps her in so many ways and it well worth it.

 

[janette]

I don't mind the teacher conferences but I also hate the standardized testing. It really shouldn't be about the test. My 12yo DD is very artistically talented, very smart but dyslexic. Most of her teacher conferences are how to manage the modifications required and most of the time it isn't what would be best for her but how to get her past the testing. Ridiculous that the teachers have to spend time doing this instead of working out the best ways to get her where she needs to be.

I'm sure your DD will be fine, I expect my kids to do their best and know that it is different for each. Too bad the public schools seem to forget that they are individuals first.

 

[Disney Doll]

See - I didn't "get" Algebra (what's with the letters in with the numbers?!) but I loved Geometry!

I was exactly the same way. I had no concept of Algebra, loved Geometry. I truly think that you either have a brain that is "wired" for Algebra or you don't. And I don't. Of course, I have to have "Joe Engineer" for a brother, who does Algebra, Trig, and God knows what other kinds of horrible Math things!!!!

I can actually remember my HS guidance counselor telling me that I probably shouldn't be a nurse based on my Math skills. I ignored him, did fine in nursing school (basic math needed for meds and IV calculations...not algebra with letters mixed in with the numbers! ). Karma being what it is, I ended up being his Mom's nurse about 2 years after I graduated form nursing school, which would have put me 5 years out of HS. He remembered me. Looked a little green around the gills when I walked into his Mom's room and said I was the nurse! She did fine. I didn't kill her with my lack of math skills!

 

[KirstenB]

No advice Minky, just a hug. Our oldest dd is only 8, but she definitely falls in the average category, academics-wise. Like your dd, she's a good "citizen". I tend to focus heavily on her behavior and conduct, because everyone can control how they treat others. Algebra, ehh...not so much! Sounds like she's a great kiddo, and that's what really matters.

 

[HeatherH]

I hope you donned your flame suit. What an ignorant thing to write! It just so happens that I'm a stay at home mom and I love it. This lifestyle allows me time for volunteer work @ DD's school and in the community.
BTW,my IQ is 151 and I don't consider my choice a limitation in any way.

I don't think the poster needs a flame-proof suit for that comment...I don't think the comment was a put-down for SAHMs at ALL. And I don't necessarily think the OP was saying that being a SAHM was her only goal for her child, either...although I understand how it could be construed that way.

I do agree that the child should be afforded EVERY educational opportunity available to her, and that she should get outside tutoring or additional help NOW...it's ridiculous to "give up" on a child at this age (well, at any age, for that matter). It may be that some additional tutoring is all she needs.

Whatever she decides to do in life...work full time, work part time, marry, don't marry, have kids, don't have kids, stay at home or not...she DESERVES the best educational opportunities her parents can give her. She sounds like a great all-around kid, and if she needs some extra help in a certain subject, then she should get it. Not every child will be a Rhodes scholar, but every child deserves to be the best he/she can be.

 

[minkydog]

No advice Minky, just a hug. Our oldest dd is only 8, but she definitely falls in the average category, academics-wise. Like your dd, she's a good "citizen". I tend to focus heavily on her behavior and conduct, because everyone can control how they treat others. Algebra, ehh...not so much! Sounds like she's a great kiddo, and that's what really matters.

Thanks for the hug. I'm just venting, I'm not gonna take her out of school. We'll pay for a tutor. We'll do whatever we have to do to help her be successful. When I said she'll make a good mother, I didn't mean that's the only thing she'd be fit for. She has a lot of interests and is well-rounded--that is what will make her a good friend, wife and mother.

I think eventually she'll find that thing that really lights her fire--I did. I barely passed algebra in HS. I would have failed Geometry except the coach made me a deal--shut up and don't cause trouble, I pass with a D. No homework(yay!) I managed to get through nursing school without algebra and then got a degree in early childhood ed--no algebra needed there either. I homeschooled my oldest child through HS--he graduated last year. Of course, I had his Algebra taught by somebody else. In fact, the tutor used to teach both of us so I could help him with homework(rats!)

<sigh> I just hate that feeling when someone in authority tells you your child is not up to speed. Especially when that child has so much else going well. They don't see what i see.