I hate feeling guilty

[mom2rb]

My cousin's air conditioner went out yesterday. Last night her kids stayed here. I found out today, that yesterday my cousin had been running a fever and throwing up all day before she brought the kids over. She wanted to bring the kids back over tonight, her daughter has been throwing up and has a fever today. I told her no.

She called back and asked again. I told her no and that I was mad that she brought them over yesterday. She told me that she wasn't contagious and neither was her daughter. I yelled that they are contagious and it sucks that she is making me feel guilty when I just don't want to get my kids sick.


She can go to her mother's, she just doesn't want to. So why do I feel so guilty?

 

[FredinFL]

Because you feel badly that you can't help. Not your fault, she can go to momma's and get her sick instead. It was really rude of her to send her kids over knowing they could be contagious like that. How would she know her daughter wasn't contagious? After all, the kid got sick just like mom did. Rude, rude, and even MORE rude to call a second time, and MORE rude to call a third time. What a skrunch.

 

[momof1princess]

OP, i don't blame you at all. unless they've been diagnosed by a doctor, they have NO clue whether or not they're contagious, and she's the one who should feel guilty for bringing her kids to your house, knowing they could pass something to your family. i hope you and your family stay well!

 

[Uncle Remus]

My cousin's air conditioner went out yesterday. Last night her kids stayed here. I found out today, that yesterday my cousin had been running a fever and throwing up all day before she brought the kids over. She wanted to bring the kids back over tonight, her daughter has been throwing up and has a fever today. I told her no.

She called back and asked again. I told her no and that I was mad that she brought them over yesterday. She told me that she wasn't contagious and neither was her daughter. I yelled that they are contagious and it sucks that she is making me feel guilty when I just don't want to get my kids sick.


She can go to her mother's, she just doesn't want to. So why do I feel so guilty?

You tell me, it makes no sense at all.

 

[Ceila]

You feel guilty because you are obviously a nice person. Your cousin, on the other hand...

Don't feel bad for protecting your kids, especially when she has someplace else she can go.

 

[onelilspark]

I still have my heat on

Tell her to just start driving north!

 

[mom2rb]

Well, one of my kids woke up sick today. My guilt is turning into anger.

 

[MIGrandma]

What did people do before air conditioning was invented?

No reason she had to find another place to stay just because the A/C stopped working.

We still don't have A/C in our upstairs, only downstairs. Yes, it gets kinda hot sometimes to sleep but we survive.

 

[LuvOrlando]

That is exactly how my daughter got H1N1. The worst part is everyone in that house knew my kids were high risk and they didn't tell us anyway and let my very sick niece crawl all over my kids but I didn't realize she was sick because of all the drugs they were giving her to cover it up. That wound ain't ever going to close for me, their stupidity nearly killed my child.

I don't blame you for being ticked, don't feel guilty, she endangered your kids so hers could be comfortable. It's plain she is only worried about her own so you are justified to only be worried about your own.

 

[tlbwriter]

She can go to her mother's, she just doesn't want to.

If I did feel guilty, this is where it would have stopped.

 

[Declan2]

It is hard not to feel badly for her kids because it is not their fault. But I think telling her no is hard but the right thing to do to protect your own children. She is making a choice not to go to her mom for whatever reason just as you need to make a choice for your own family.

 

[Donaldswife]

What did people do before air conditioning was invented?

No reason she had to find another place to stay just because the A/C stopped working.

We still don't have A/C in our upstairs, only downstairs. Yes, it gets kinda hot sometimes to sleep but we survive.

To be fair it looks like the OP lives in TX, where I am assuming A/C is a little more necessary than in Michigan (where you are from), or Indiana (where I am from). So it is possible that the kids were unable to sleep in the heat.

I could be wrong, just thought that might be relevant.

 

[robinb]

No reason she had to find another place to stay just because the A/C stopped working.

To be fair it looks like the OP lives in TX, where I am assuming A/C is a little more necessary than in Michigan (where you are from), or Indiana (where I am from). So it is possible that the kids were unable to sleep in the heat.

I could be wrong, just thought that might be relevant.

The forecast for the OP's town is:

Mon 66/52, Tue 74/48, Wed 79/54, Thur 83/62

OP, tell her to OPEN THE WINDOWS!!!

 

[FredinFL]

That would be too easy!

 

[agnes!]

My cousin's air conditioner went out yesterday. Last night her kids stayed here. I found out today, that yesterday my cousin had been running a fever and throwing up all day before she brought the kids over. She wanted to bring the kids back over tonight, her daughter has been throwing up and has a fever today. I told her no.

She called back and asked again. I told her no and that I was mad that she brought them over yesterday. She told me that she wasn't contagious and neither was her daughter. I yelled that they are contagious and it sucks that she is making me feel guilty when I just don't want to get my kids sick.


She can go to her mother's, she just doesn't want to. So why do I feel so guilty?

Well, one of my kids woke up sick today. My guilt is turning into anger.

Maybe she doesn't have the money for any of this right now but
why can't she get a room at a motel or
actually call a repairman OR
borrow someone's room air-conditioner or buy one? I've seen them for cheap at WalMart or she could check on craigslist.

And I'm sorry your kid is sick, hope it doesn't go through the family like wildfire (like these types of things sometimes do).
agnes!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

My cousin's air conditioner went out yesterday. Last night her kids stayed here. I found out today, that yesterday my cousin had been running a fever and throwing up all day before she brought the kids over. She wanted to bring the kids back over tonight, her daughter has been throwing up and has a fever today. I told her no.

She called back and asked again. I told her no and that I was mad that she brought them over yesterday. She told me that she wasn't contagious and neither was her daughter. I yelled that they are contagious and it sucks that she is making me feel guilty when I just don't want to get my kids sick.


She can go to her mother's, she just doesn't want to. So why do I feel so guilty?

I don't know why esp since she was sack of crap for bringing over sick kids to your house.

My guess is that it is similiar to "battered woman syndrome" in that you have a hard time protecting yourself from harm or standing up for yourself? It is something in our DNA as woman that we have to "help" even against our own best interests, you know?

For me it is easy to say, you are freaking ignorant for bringing over sick kids to my house your bleeping bleep bleep bleep......

I might feel guilty for going off but never for telling her no. However I like to get my point across that bringing over your sick kids is something that is not allowed. Keep your sick kids at HOME. Sorry your AC is broke. Buy a fan.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Because people like to make you think that when kids are involved that you should always bend over backwards. But it is not your job to enable that behavior.

She has options, your option doesn't work. Nothing to feel guilty about.

I agree...with that forecast, open the windows!

 

[mom2rb]

I sent her a text to let her know that my son was sick. She sent me one back asking what he had. I was about to lose it when DH told me to put the phone down. She did call and like an idiot, I answered. She started complaining about how it was 90 degrees in her house and her daughter couldn't sleep. I don't know how since it got cold last night. She then told me how she would have taken my kids if it were me. I let her know that no, she wouldn't because I would have never asked her to.

What makes me so mad, is that she doesn't think that she did anything wrong. She just doesn't want me to be mad at her.

 

[SandrA9810]

The temps here,
88/54 today
84/56 tuesday
91/60 wednesday
93/59 thrusday
86/57 friday

Yeah, the AC has yet to be turned on this year. I sleep just fine, and I'm really knick picky about being comfortable when I sleep.

If she's got a two story house, tell her to put her kids to sleep downstairs in the living room. Heat rises and will make the bedrooms upstairs a bit warmer. Although there's a more likely chance of a nice breeze coming through the windows upstairs.

 

[MIGrandma]

To be fair it looks like the OP lives in TX, where I am assuming A/C is a little more necessary than in Michigan (where you are from), or Indiana (where I am from). So it is possible that the kids were unable to sleep in the heat.

I could be wrong, just thought that might be relevant.

My Dad is from Texas, I still have a lot of relatives there and have been there many times. Always in the summer. No A/C in most of the relative's homes that I've stayed in. They open the windows and use fans. At my Grandma's if it was really hot we slept on the screen porch. I have always felt that Texas heat is a much drier heat than what we have here in Michigan in the summer. The humidity is awful. We didn't put A/C in our house until just two summers ago. I still don't think there was any reason the OP's cousin should have had her kids stay with the OP. And especially being sick, pretty nervy of her.