I hate boys! (Vent/someone needs to tell me I did the right thing)

[Twinkles6892]

I've been hanging out with my friend's boyfriend for a week now. At first we were just friends, but it turned into more, I asked him who he wanted to be with and he said he wanted to be with me.

So last night I told him he had to break up with my friend or it was over, (this is after several chances previously) he promised me he would do it today after school.

I saw him kissing her as I was sitting on the bus.

I marched to his house after school, threw his sweatshirt in his face, told him it was over and that I was so hurt that he lied to me.

He also did the same thing with another friend of mine, with the same girlfriend.

I'm so mad at him, I still really like him, but he's a liar. And if he cheated on her, what's saying he wouldn't do it to me too?

I could really use a trip to Old Navy (hint hint mom), or a hug

 

[dcentity2000]

Emotions are a tricky business. You need to ensure that your friend isn't going to suffer as a result of this dire situation too, though.



Rich::

 

[diznygirl]

A week, huh? Although it feels bad right now, I promise you that you won't remember his name 20 years from now.

 

[bicker]

Ah. To be young again.

 

[MrsNick]

Don't waste your time. If you value your friendship with the other girl, break it off immediately. If you don't value the friendship, and don't mind that this boy is going to flirt and hang out with other girls (and all that comes with), then by all means, keep hanging out with him.

 

[foolishmortal]

Don't waste your time. If you value your friendship with the other girl, break it off immediately. If you don't value the friendship, and don't mind that this boy is going to flirt and hang out with other girls (and all that comes with), then by all means, keep hanging out with him.

I am thinking the OP really doesn't value it much since she was trying to steal her friends boyfriend to begin with.

 

[Twinkles6892]

I am thinking the OP really doesn't value it much since she was trying to steal her friends boyfriend to begin with.

Hey! I wasn't trying to steal him, it just kind of happened. Thank you very much.

 

[WDWHound]

While it is true that you will not remember much about this boy in 20 years, I'm betting it hurts like heck right now. A couple of things to think about:

1) You did the right thing. You deserve to be treated better.

2) You owe your friend an appology. Whether you meant to our not, you were becoming attached to her boyfriend. Imagine how she must feel about the situation. If nothing else, she needs to know her boy frend is sneeking around on her. She desevres to be treated better as well.

3) There are boys out there who will treat you with kindness and dignity, and they are looking very hard for a special girl. Don't allow this one incident to keep you from seeing al the good guys out there.

 

[ItsonlyExperiment626]

Do you really think you want to be with this guy after he cheated on his current girlfriend with you?! What's that saying again...once a cheater always a cheater. What kind of friend are YOU to even let it "just happen" with your friend's boyfriend? Not much of a friend in my book nor anyone to be trusted as that!

 

[Patty3]

Do you really think you want to be with this guy after he cheated on his current girlfriend with you?! What's that saying again...once a cheater always a cheater. What kind of friend are YOU to even let it "just happen" with your friend's boyfriend? Not much of a friend in my book nor anyone to be trusted as that!

I totally agree.

 

[doxdogy]

Can't take you to Old Navy, but I can send you a hug.

 

[Twinkles6892]

So I did wrong by my friend, I'm 15, I'm going to make mistakes. And now I'm trying to fix it.

 

[Disney Doll]

Well, first of all, you need to stop chasing after your friend's boyfriends. Put yourself in her place...how would you feel if someone was after your boyfriend??

Second of all, as time goes on you'll learn to recognize snakes. This fella is one.

Third of all, a leopard doesn't change his spots. If he was a cheater on one girl, he'll be a cheater on you.

Consider it a good lesson learned!!

 

[ItsonlyExperiment626]

Trying to fix it???!!!!

In your OP, you said that if he told you he was sorry and broke up with your friend to be with you, you would take him back!!! How is that fixing anything??!!!

 

[dcentity2000]

Disney Doll, not to sidetrack the thread or anything, but I love your signature! So true



Rich::

 

[Twinkles6892]

Trying to fix it???!!!!

In your OP, you said that if he told you he was sorry and broke up with your friend to be with you, you would take him back!!! How is that fixing anything??!!!

I edited it. You're right.

 

[Marseeya]

I know you're probably not going to take me seriously, but please don't "let" something like this "just happen" again. It is possible to have a little bit of self-restraint.

I'm 38 years old and this happened to me with one of my best friends in high school. Our friendship was never the same after that and we had a love/hate relationship for a good 15 years before we finally came to terms with it. What made it so difficult was that she was in my circle of friends, so we've had to have a lot of interactions over the years. I missed out on many years of a great friendship with this woman, and the boy? Who knows where he is now, and who cares.

Boys simply are NOT worth it. I think you just need to make a very strong vow that any guy your friends are dating is off limits and stick to it.

 

[Christine]

I know you're probably not going to take me seriously, but please don't "let" something like this "just happen" again. It is possible to have a little bit of self-restraint.

I'm 38 years old and this happened to me with one of my best friends in high school. Our friendship was never the same after that and we had a love/hate relationship for a good 15 years before we finally came to terms with it. What made it so difficult was that she was in my circle of friends, so we've had to have a lot of interactions over the years. I missed out on many years of a great friendship with this woman, and the boy? Who knows where he is now, and who cares.

Boys simply are NOT worth it. I think you just need to make a very strong vow that any guy your friends are dating is off limits and stick to it.

Similar experience. In high school I was an acquaintance with this girl that was in a few of my classes. Her and her serious boyfriend had a minor break-up and he turned his attention to me. I returned it and SHE never spoke to me again. I should have ignored him. It's not worth that I lost a friendship. I KNEW she still cared about him. I had a very uncomfortable 3 more years in school with her. The rule is do not mess with your girlfriends' boyfriends. Girls really don't forgive and guys could care less. That's your biggest concern here. And, yes, you did the right thing by telling him off. He's a loser.

 

[disneymom3]

Ouch! Well, that is a bummer. Tell yourself over and over again that you deserve better than this. Really, take it from all us old people.....if he treats your friend disrespectfully, he will be disrespectful to you too. In fact, he already has. You don't need someone in your life who lies to you and is not 100% committed to you. This guy is not worth the emotional stress he is causing.

And I think you owe your friend an apology too, but I think telling her what happened might also end the friendship. When I was in the dating world, one of the hard and fast girl rules was that you never ever dated a current or even ex boyfriend of your friends. Good rule.

 

[Mermaid02]

The OP is my daughter. First of all, she did the right thing by giving him back his sweatshirt and telling him she was done. Second, please don't be so hard on her- she's 15- this was her first experiment with "dating"- the whole group has been hanging out since school started (except the other girl, she's never around) and I think she got caught up in the excitement of having a boy pay a lot of attention to her. I told her I thought it was a bad idea, but live and learn. Sometimes you need to make your own mistakes. In 20 years NEITHER girl will remember this kids name.