I had to really lower myself, now what? UPDATE post 21

[Shugardrawers]

First a bit of background. In November 2004 I went to work for a dentist. I really liked him. Great guy, good sense of humor, patient and just a good all around boss. I liked the job and he told me almost daily how great I was doing and how quickly I was picking up the job. Fast forward just over a month. He tells me with actual tears in his eyes and a cracking voice that the other 2 women in the office don't like me. He feels they are being unfair and not giving me time to settle in but they have demanded I be fired. They were unable to give him a reasonable idea as to why they felt this way but it's a small office and these girls have worked for him forever so they won. I was let go (he even asked if the person he hired didn't work out would I consider coming back!)

The past week or so I've had a painful lump on my gum that I think is probably an abcess. Our finances are really tight right now and although we have dental insurance it doesn't pay a lot. All the dentists I called want the unpaid portion upfront. That's impossible until Dh starts getting overtime and his inheritance comes in later this spring. It can't wait that long. Anyway, I finally called the Dr. I worked for and explained the situation to him and he said come on in and he'll take what the insurance pays and nothing more. He thought it was the least he could do. So I have an appointment in an office I never thought I'd set foot in again. I have no problem with the dentist himself but I'm going to have to deal with these women I know forced me out. My indignation tells me to tell them I don't want to chit chat and make nice with them, thank you very much. My good breeding tells me be polite and pretend it never happened. They can't get me fired anymore. Tell me honestly if you would speak your piece now, over a year later?

 

[Maleficent13]

Wow...I remember you posting about that when it happened.

I think icy politeness is the best way to go. Smile brilliantly and sail in there. I'd probably wear a nice outfit and maybe a little subtle bling...you know what they say: living well is the best revenge. Laugh and joke with the dentist as well. Be familiar with him, ask about his family, etc. Make them seethe while they eavesdrop.

Of course, I am evil, you know, so you may not want to take my advice.

 

[OhMari]

They got you fired. They should be ashamed of themselves. Act like you don't know them. Look them in the eye-they will be the ones to turn away. Say: Check, Check like you can check them off your list aand walk on in when your name is called.

 

[SC Minnie]

Don't let them take your pride. You are there for a dr's visit. There should be no reason that they need to chit chat. If I were in your situation I would walk right past them like I didn't know them from Adam's house cat.

 

[BeNJeNWaFFLe]

Wow...I remember you posting about that when it happened.

I think icy politeness is the best way to go. Smile brilliantly and sail in there. I'd probably wear a nice outfit and maybe a little subtle bling...you know what they say: living well is the best revenge. Laugh and joke with the dentist as well. Be familiar with him, ask about his family, etc. Make them seethe while they eavesdrop.

Of course, I am evil, you know, so you may not want to take my advice.

This is what I would do too. Nothing wrong with making yourself feel good.

I guess I'm a little evil too.

 

[cats7494]

This is what I would do too. Nothing wrong with making yourself feel good.

I guess I'm a little evil too.

Nothing evil about it at all!
What awful women! I am sorry they put you through this! Good luck!

 

[Poohnatic]

Act as if you don't know who they are...that will burn them to no end.

Odds are good that they'll see your name and avoid you because they know they were wrong. Your replacement will probably be the one to assist you.

Suzanne

 

[HayGan]

Wow...I remember you posting about that when it happened.

I think icy politeness is the best way to go. Smile brilliantly and sail in there. I'd probably wear a nice outfit and maybe a little subtle bling...you know what they say: living well is the best revenge. Laugh and joke with the dentist as well. Be familiar with him, ask about his family, etc. Make them seethe while they eavesdrop.

Of course, I am evil, you know, so you may not want to take my advice.

I would probably do the same. I would not confront them or say anything to them. You certainly don't want to stir up anything that is going to cause the dentist (who is doing you a favor) any grief. You may need him in the future!

Hope he can get your problem taken care of quickly and relatively painlessly!!!

 

[Disney Doll]

Wow...I remember you posting about that when it happened.

I think icy politeness is the best way to go. Smile brilliantly and sail in there. I'd probably wear a nice outfit and maybe a little subtle bling...you know what they say: living well is the best revenge. Laugh and joke with the dentist as well. Be familiar with him, ask about his family, etc. Make them seethe while they eavesdrop.

Of course, I am evil, you know, so you may not want to take my advice.

I like how you think Mal!!!!! I'd probably do this same thing.

 

[Stitchfans]

Act as if you don't know who they are...that will burn them to no end.

Odds are good that they'll see your name and avoid you because they know they were wrong. Your replacement will probably be the one to assist you.

Suzanne

Thats the first thing that I thought when I read your post. Just don't pay any attention to them. They don't deserve your attention.

 

[Missy1961]

First, I hope the dentist can make you better fast!

You are better than they are. Ignore them. They are not worth your time or effort.

I guess I'm evil too.

 

[Shugardrawers]

You certainly don't want to stir up anything that is going to cause the dentist (who is doing you a favor) any grief. You may need him in the future!

I thought of that. He's doing me a tremendous favor and he'll get about $400 less from me than any other patient would pay. Yes, he says he owes me one and he's right. OTOH, I don't want to make him regret his decision to be kind and I don't want to appear ungrateful. I really am, more than I could express to him. I've already got a thank you card ready to send to him tomorrow.

It took so much courage for me to even call to ask for his help. The receptionist was VERY icy to me when I called and when he called, swallowing my pride and asking this of him was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I know the schedule the girls use and the girl who replaced me would be off today. Leaving me staring these "ladies" who hated me enough to get me fired in the face. UGH! If I wasn't in so much pain NO WAY would I ever set foot in there!!

My mama raised me to have impeccable manners even in the worst of situations. Heck, if I were being executed I'd thank the guy who inserted the needle I suspect I'll make nice while my stomach churns and try to remember not to bite the hand that is feeding me. Just once I'd love the guts to be rude though! It must be very liberating at times.

 

[mickeysgal]

It took so much courage for me to even call to ask for his help. The receptionist was VERY icy to me when I called and when he called, swallowing my pride and asking this of him was one of the hardest things I've ever done. ... Just once I'd love the guts to be rude though! It must be very liberating at times.

Wow...I don't know what these ladies did to you to influence the doctor enough to fire you, but they obviously have him wrapped around their fingers enough to make him resort to firing you!

I know this is going to be tough...hold your head high and pretend they don't exist. You don't have to be snobby, but treat them like anyone else you don't know in a store, restaurant, etc. Be polite if you have to talk to them, but stay distant.

I'm with you...I don't have the guts to be rude and I'm barely assertive. I wish I could be more assertive at times.

Good luck - hope you feel better soon. Let us know how it went.

 

[HayGan]

I'm sure it was very hard for you to do (I know it would have taken alot for me to do it.) He sounds like a really nice and decent human being. One of those people you are lucky to know in your life! I'm sure that he was really torn over the original situation but had to do what was best to keep his business/office running.

BTW, your mama raised your right! It is a shame that the other women in the office didn't have mothers who taught them the same!!!

I thought of that. He's doing me a tremendous favor and he'll get about $400 less from me than any other patient would pay. Yes, he says he owes me one and he's right. OTOH, I don't want to make him regret his decision to be kind and I don't want to appear ungrateful. I really am, more than I could express to him. I've already got a thank you card ready to send to him tomorrow.

It took so much courage for me to even call to ask for his help. The receptionist was VERY icy to me when I called and when he called, swallowing my pride and asking this of him was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I know the schedule the girls use and the girl who replaced me would be off today. Leaving me staring these "ladies" who hated me enough to get me fired in the face. UGH! If I wasn't in so much pain NO WAY would I ever set foot in there!!

My mama raised me to have impeccable manners even in the worst of situations. Heck, if I were being executed I'd thank the guy who inserted the needle I suspect I'll make nice while my stomach churns and try to remember not to bite the hand that is feeding me. Just once I'd love the guts to be rude though! It must be very liberating at times.

 

[Shugardrawers]

I'm sure that he was really torn over the original situation but had to do what was best to keep his business/office running.

It took me a long time to realize that. Though I still believe the whole thing to have been unfair I understand why he went along with it. To risk losing 2 long term and loyal employees over one who's been there just a few weeks is actually a pretty stupid business move and shows you to be a poor employer. Their feelings were their feelings and there was nothing either of us could say to change it. He said he really tried to get them to give it another month or 2 but they wouldn't budge. If feelings are that strong, it's best to call it a wash. I had already sensed they didn't much like me and don't know how happy I'd have been for long feelling that way every day anyway.

At any rate, he's quite a peach to do this and if for no one elses sake I'll be polite for his. I just hope I don't have a panic attack. The prospect of having a tooth pulled is bad enough but I have to have it done in a place I don't have fond memories of to boot! Ugh, I think I'm gonna hurl!!!

 

[smilingmouse]

Wow...I remember you posting about that when it happened.

I think icy politeness is the best way to go. Smile brilliantly and sail in there. I'd probably wear a nice outfit and maybe a little subtle bling...you know what they say: living well is the best revenge. Laugh and joke with the dentist as well. Be familiar with him, ask about his family, etc. Make them seethe while they eavesdrop.

Of course, I am evil, you know, so you may not want to take my advice.

I really like this advice as it sums up what I would do in your situation.

Good luck! Let us know how it goes

 

[LuvN~Travel]

I'd just take my cd player and headphones and a really good book. And, then ignore the heck out of them.
Good luck on what you decide.
Kim

 

[Mkaz]

Just remember that what goes around comes around. One day they will have to answer for it. Just hold your head up high and smile. If you get too angry, just give them a five finger wave. Why give them one finger when they can have the whole bouquet? They will think you are being nice.

Hope you feel well soon.

 

[lunchmomd]

I think I would go the other way. No way would I ignore them. Nor would I be rude. I would bring a box of chocolates. Tell them how nice it is to see them again. Then say something like "while I'm here, I'd like to thank you for arranging to have me fired. Although I didn't realize it at the time, you really did me a favor, and I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you." Then hand them the box of chocolates, with a big smile on your face, and take a seat. THEY WON'T KNOW WHAT HIT THEM!! And you should get a great big warm fuzzy feeling knowing that you really did have the last word by stripping them of whatever perverse pleasure they got from getting you fired. I'm a little evil, too, but I am also a little twisted.

 

[rascalmom]

I hope everything goes well (the dental work and the encounter with your former co-workers).