TheBellhop
<font color=purple>Get ready for a long post<br><f
- Joined
- Jun 15, 2004
- Messages
- 4,663
Here's an interesting list of ways to tell Martha Stewart is stalking you...
10. You get a threatening note made up of letters cut out of a magazine with pinking shears, and they're all the same size, the same font, and precisely lined up in razor-sharp rows.
9. You find a lemon slice in the dog's water bowl.
8. On her TV show she makes a gingerbread house that looks exactly like your split-level, right down to the fallen licorice downspout and the half-open graham cracker garage door.
7. You find your pet bunny on the stove in an exquisite tarragon, rose petal & saffron demi-glace,' with pecan-crusted hearts of palm and a delicate mint-fennel sauce.
6. The unmistakable aromas of potpourri follows you even after you leave the bathroom.
5. You discover that every napkin in the entire house has been folded into a swan.
4. No matter "where" you eat, your place setting always includes an oyster fork.
3. Twice this week you've been the victim of a drive-by doilying.
2. You wake up in the hospital with a concussion and endive stuffing in both ears.
And The # 1 Sign You're Being Stalked by Martha Stewart:
You awaken one morning with a glue gun pointed squarely at your temple.
---Ryan
10. You get a threatening note made up of letters cut out of a magazine with pinking shears, and they're all the same size, the same font, and precisely lined up in razor-sharp rows.
9. You find a lemon slice in the dog's water bowl.
8. On her TV show she makes a gingerbread house that looks exactly like your split-level, right down to the fallen licorice downspout and the half-open graham cracker garage door.
7. You find your pet bunny on the stove in an exquisite tarragon, rose petal & saffron demi-glace,' with pecan-crusted hearts of palm and a delicate mint-fennel sauce.
6. The unmistakable aromas of potpourri follows you even after you leave the bathroom.
5. You discover that every napkin in the entire house has been folded into a swan.
4. No matter "where" you eat, your place setting always includes an oyster fork.
3. Twice this week you've been the victim of a drive-by doilying.
2. You wake up in the hospital with a concussion and endive stuffing in both ears.
And The # 1 Sign You're Being Stalked by Martha Stewart:
You awaken one morning with a glue gun pointed squarely at your temple.
---Ryan
