maxaroni
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Mar 17, 2005
First, you are an amazing person and have valid feelings. Your feelings are not something you can turn on and off. I am married 36 years and it is hard,hard work. We were fortunate to be blessed with our DS24 after 10 years of trying. We didn't feel as though it would be in our cards and each month, the pain was difficult. After DS was born we lost 5 more babies in miscarrige. My point is, Tink, yes we had our beautiful DS but we felt that hole in us that took awhile to work through. We couldn't turn our feelings off, just as you can't. Women are also blessed with the hormonal aspect that can wreak havoc with us. We also have the monthly reminder that we are not pregnant. For us, secondary infertility was very hard to deal with. Yes, we did have our DS, so different in that aspect to what you are feeling. Parenting is a very very difficult job, albeit rewarding. You and your DH need to be on the same page on becoming parents. If he doesn't feel, due to circumstances, it is something he wants, it doesn't make your feelings any less valid. It's something that you need to work through and am sure your DH can help you. It's something that, as a couple, you will get through. I am not sure if I am making a whole lot of sense. I wish you all the best