I feel so guilty, what should I do?

[Sonya]

We love Ds's daycare provider. She takes care of 5 boys and 2 are her own, one Ds's age and one a year younger.

Last Friday I picked DS up and she mentioned that he had a little cough. No fever or anything else. Well he has been trying to get over a cold, and his molars are coming in so his nose runs a little and I didn't think much of it. He acted fine.

That evening we had a friend of ours come over with her twin boys to play. Ds kept coughing and coughing all evening. We just put it down to playing too hard.

The next morning he woke with a temp and wheezing. Took him in and he has RSV, but a mild case.

Spent a weekend from heck plus 2 days this week home with him (and DH who has a kidney stone, but that's another story) and he really has done fine. However I made sure I called my friend and our daycare provider to tell them he was sick and probably contaigous when he was around everyone.

Now my friend tells me that she, her sons, and DH have a cold, but are doing OK. I feel bad! But our daycare provider called and said her youngest was in the hospital with a respatory infection!!!! He has been in for 3 days, poor guy! She never talked like she blamed us or anything, but I feel so bad that it was my child that might have got hers so sick he had to go to the hospital!

I know that these things happen and he wasn't acting sick or having a fever when he was there, even she didn't catch that. But I feel really bad. Shoud we do something? We have sent a get well card but that seemed so .... little.

 

[C.Ann]

Don't feel bad - there's no way you could have known.. Kids get sick.. Sometimes it's serious, sometimes it's not..

If you would like to do something else for her, maybe you could bring a casserole or something over to her house or if you know she's sitting in the hospital maybe you could bring her something to eat and while you're there ask if there's anything else you can do..

I'm sure she's not angry.. Being a daycare provider she knows there's a risk of illness being transmitted from one child to another..

 

[mom23boys]

I agree don't feel guilty, but I always do in these cases.

Kids pass germs all the time. When my DS was in daycare I did not know he was exposed to Chicken Pox and went to a 1st birthday party. Well three days later he had the Pox and 2 kids from the party a couple of weeks later had them. I did feel bad, but I did not know.

Sending a dinner or lunch would be a great idea.

I hope your DS and hers are doing well soon.

 

[laurie31]

You had no way to know. If you freaked out every time a child coughed or had a runny nose, you'd have no life. RSV is out there. Your daycare provider's child could have gotten it from your DS or vice versa. Or they could have gotten it anywhere.

I agree that taking her a meal would be very nice. Hospital food is usually not the best.

Laurie

 

[janette]

No reason to feel bad, RSV can be a dangerous virus but not for everyone that gets it. Most of the time it presents with just cold symptoms. My youngest had it as an infant and she was very sick, when she returned to day care I asked my Dr about it and she said that the virus is active for a long time and it is so common that there is very little you can do to prevent kids from being exposed.

 

[the kabuki]

Not much too feel guilty about, nothing you could have done different. it goes with the territory of having kids. Just wait till they get in school!! Then they'll be passing around all kinds of fun things!!!

 

[Aidensmom]

Don't feel guilty at all. I am the mother of a child who got RSV and ended up in the hospital, and he wasn't even in daycare at the time. Small children get sick, it happens, no one is to blame. There is absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. If we kept our kids home every time they had a sniffle, they would be home quite a lot, and unnecessarily.

I think a card was more than a lot of people would do, but I would make a phone call and ask if there was anything you could do to help. She may say nothing, but the fact that you called would mean a lot.

 

[Sonya]

Thanks everyone. I know these things happen, but I still feel bad.

Now I go into work today and my friend with the twins, she works with me, is gone! I hope they are OK at her house!

 

[golfgal]

Your child could have caught it from the other child. These things happen and unless you are going to wrap your kid in a bubble and never let him around other people, it will happen again. Don't stress about it.

 

[S. C.]

Not much too feel guilty about, nothing you could have done different. it goes with the territory of having kids. Just wait till they get in school!! Then they'll be passing around all kinds of fun things!!!

..ITA

 

[Grumpy's Gal]

that it was my child that might have got hers so sick he had to go to the hospital!

It might have been hers that got yours sick!

Kids get sick. It's a fact. I wouldn't feel bad about it.

 

[Serena]

It's ok. All you can do is to try to prevent spreading sickness to others. You won't always succeed. You don't have to do anything.

 

[conciergekelly]

I had that happen. My son came down with roto- virus (diahrea/throwing up)while a friends 2 year old was over. Well, the 2 year old got the virus so bad that it was attacking her organs. She was in the hospital and deathly ill. She was ok in the end. I felt so bad. I had to remind myself that these things happen.
It is not your fault that a "normal" virus had a more severe reaction on someone else. You could have never known the reaction. Time will make the guilt fade.