Sorry- this will be a long one. Lately I just feel like nothing is going my way. It seems like my dh and I are taking two steps forward, three steps back. It all started with my depression last year, which I took ad's for and then felt great- got a new job in a nonprofit sexual assault clinic- helping rape victims and doing community education. Things were good. Dh has a degree in graphic design and he got an internship that we were sure would lead to a job somewhere, if not the place he was interning. We have been putting off TTC since Easter 2005- never the "right time." First we were going to TTC around Easter, then end of May, then September, then October (our anniversary), then Christmas... Then New Year's Eve.
But in Oct. 05 my depression started coming back- I didn't finish taking my ad's- I know, my fault. So, I told my Dr. I wanted something that I could be on while TTC. But, wellbutrin didn't work. I ended up so depressed and having such severe anxiety attacks that I quit my job.
DH is still looking for a graphic design job, or anything besides his current "pay-the-bills" job that he hates. I am trying to find a new job, and missing my old job so badly, and just found out that a girl that I used to be really good friends with whom I now can't stand (she's a BAD person) got MY OLD JOB. I hate that. All the people in the freakin St. Louis area, and she gets it. Granted- I quit. But, I wanted someone really good to have that job!
And, furthermore, I have been agonzing over this baby thing for over ayear now, and on Friday my SIL told me she is TTC. I am so jealous I can't see straight. I'm not mad at her- I am happy for her, just sad for me because I have to be on antidepressants for another 5 months.... UGH. SOrry. I just really needed to vent.
I know things could be worse. And I know they'll get better. But right now, I just feel so stuck and upset.
But in Oct. 05 my depression started coming back- I didn't finish taking my ad's- I know, my fault. So, I told my Dr. I wanted something that I could be on while TTC. But, wellbutrin didn't work. I ended up so depressed and having such severe anxiety attacks that I quit my job.
DH is still looking for a graphic design job, or anything besides his current "pay-the-bills" job that he hates. I am trying to find a new job, and missing my old job so badly, and just found out that a girl that I used to be really good friends with whom I now can't stand (she's a BAD person) got MY OLD JOB. I hate that. All the people in the freakin St. Louis area, and she gets it. Granted- I quit. But, I wanted someone really good to have that job!
And, furthermore, I have been agonzing over this baby thing for over ayear now, and on Friday my SIL told me she is TTC. I am so jealous I can't see straight. I'm not mad at her- I am happy for her, just sad for me because I have to be on antidepressants for another 5 months.... UGH. SOrry. I just really needed to vent.
I know things could be worse. And I know they'll get better. But right now, I just feel so stuck and upset.
Sorry things are so difficult right now. Vent away! I hope things turn the corner for you soon!
(Ok- feeble attempt at me trying to find humor in my situation).
