I feel like a horrible daughter

[WDWAurora]

A few weeks ago, my friend and I decided to go on a shopping trip. Because of the two of us having weird conflicting schedules, it had to be on a Tuesday, either today or 2 weeks from today.

At some point in the past (not sure how long I've known) my dad told me he was having some sleep tests done and he wanted me to come be there while he was having them. This is an all day thing. He goes in for 20 minutes, has to stay awake in a dark room, then comes out for like an hour and a half. All day. My mom and grandparents are going with him as well. It's a high stress thing, long story. Well, that's tomorrow. I thought it was next week.

My friend and I had set up today to go on our trip tomorrow. This had been the plan for weeks. Dad calls tonight and when I mention the trip he reminds me of his test. It's pretty much too late to cancel on my friend, but I'm going to feel horrible for not being there for my dad. It's lose/lose because it'd be a long day with nothing to do and I'd feel bad for cancelling on my friend, but I'm going to feel bad on my trip for not being there for dad. I really thought it was next week. Ugh.

 

[HeatherH]

Wow.

I would think your friend would understand about rescheduling.

I'd BE THERE for my father if he needed me, no matter what.

Mine died when I was in my teens, and I would kill for just another day with him.

My personal opinion, go BE WITH YOUR DAD.

Shopping can WAIT.

 

[Tinijocaro]

Double ditto. You friend will understand- there is no question in my mind here.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I'm on the fence--the friend would understand.

But also--I guess I don't see the deal on the sleep test?

I guess I could understand for a surgery--or a life or death testing situation (cancer diagnosis for example).

Are you an only child and do you always accompany him for his medical testing?

For my dad I am an only--but I also don't live anywhere near him and at the moment..I am not happy with him at the moment (told him about my recent knee surgery--no questions, no nothing and just recently said something to really upset me)--so if it were me, I'd sure as heck would be shopping!.

I guess aside from stress...I don't understand the severity of the procedure. My mother has lots of tests (even at one time thought she might have breast cancer) and aside from some pep talks on the phone, we never accompanied her and I do live close enough to do this.


All that said--if you made a promise to both people--it is easier to reschedule a shopping trip as opposed to a medical appointment. (Despite the scheduling difficulties you have personally).

 

[WDWAurora]

Oh, I guess I left out important info. I had already called her and told her I couldn't go when I wrote this. This truly is not a big deal-he's in no health danger. He doesn't normally stress out about tests, so this is a little weird, but this isn't even a traditional sleep study. Who knows.

I am an only child, but I never normally go with him to things like this (Probably because I was in college far away and up until this semester I've had classes at least Mon-Thurs.)

I did consider not going though, because I still don't understand why he needs me there. I will have absolutely nothing to do aside from sit there for the rest of the day. I'm going a little late because I needed to do a little work this morning. I don't have a choice on that, and I would have had to do it whether I did this or went shopping.

 

[momof1princess]

i'm neither an only child nor close to my father (he walked out on us when i was 8) but seeing as how your dad has TWO other ppl to be with him, you'll have nothing to do but sit there and a sleep study isn't a big deal anyway, i think i would've gone shopping since the trip had been planned for a while. now lest anyone think i'm heartless, any time my dad calls and says he needs me, i've been there, in spite of the fact that he's never been there for me-didn't even wanna contribute half the money for my wedding, and only did so under threat by my mother of not being invited if he didn't while i cried from the bottom of my heart b/c i wasn't worth a measly 1800.00 to my own father. yep, i'd have definitely gone shopping, i just don't see the urgency in a sleep study.

 

[ItsonlyExperiment626]

Mommaof1princess, I'm confused as to why you would advise someone to NOT be there for her father when he HAS BEEN there for her all her life, when you yourself admit to go and do anything for your father when he has NOT be there for you?

WDWAurora-I'm glad you canceled on the shopping trip to be with your father. Fathers and daughters have a special bond and I think he wants you there for your special support for his well being. Do a little magazine/book shopping before you go for all the waiting periods. Or how about a board game or cards you, your mom and grandparents can play while you wait. You can look as these as a special family bonding time. You never know what wonderful and time consuming cards games your mom or grandparents can teach you.

 

[Microcell]

I am glad you are going to be with your father.

I have to share my biggest non regret to cement that you made the right decision.

When I was 15 there was a boy I was interested in, and he asked me out on my very first date, on my mom's birthday. I did not hesitate and told him, nope, it is my mom's 43rd birthday, I have to spend it with her. He tried to talk me out of bieng with her, and I remained steadfast.

It was her last birthday, and we didn't do much, but I am so glad now that I turned him down!

BTW I think she was watching out for me, because the very first date I went on was with a really awsome hot looking guy and it was great!!! Also the guy who asked me out is now in jail!

 

[momof1princess]

yes, i'm there for my father when he requests my presence, and i IN NO WAY advised the op not be there for her father, i said that i personally would've gone shopping. from what i know about a sleep study, it is neither invasive nor life threatening, and i would've known my father's health wasn't in jeopardy and trusted my stepmother to notify me if there was a situation. there, i've clarified myself as much as i intend to...now i remember why i mostly lurk.

 

[Keggy]

I guess I don't understand the importance of the sleep study. Is there something he isn't telling you?

Kelly