I feel like a bad mom

[castleview]

So I drop DD7 off at school today. Today she had money to go fill up her lunch account. They're supposed to go sit in their classroom line in the gym. Then they raise their hands and ask to go to the cafeteria to pay the lunch ladies. They can also ask for another student to go with them. I like that since she's in first grade and the cafeteria is where the fourth and fifth graders are waiting to be picked up by their teachers.

Well, DD is very shy. The first time I told the teacher on morning duty she'd like someone to go with her and everything was fine. Well, today I told her she has to do that herself. She gave me a hard time in the car and when I brought her to the gym, she wouldn't leave me. I said "it's the art teacher who you love, just ask her." She kept saying (quietly) "no Mommy you do it".

Well, two minutes go by and her classroom teacher comes to pick up the class. So DD starts crying. The teacher tells her what's wrong. I said "lunch account" and the teacher tells one of the students to take DD. (Teacher knows the deal). I asked DD if she's OK, and she said "yes"...wiping away tears. Then I leave the building feeling like crap.

I'm sure she's fine, but I won't be until she gets home at 3:30. I'm just wondering if I should have picked that battle. Either way, I feel very guilty that she was crying before school even started in front of her classmates. Tell me, I'm not as evil as I'm feeling, please...

 

[SC Minnie]

Don't feel bad. I probably would have done the same thing.

 

[shirleyb]

If that's the worst thing you ever do as a mom, you'll be just fine!!!!

Believe me, I know those kinds of things stick with you and make you feel guilty, but you didn't do anything wrong. These are the things she'll need to learn to do as she grows.

 

[Hannathy]

Don't feel bad at all! I would be a much worse Mom and have been because I wouldn't have been inside the school at all. Why are you still walking her in in November? Drop her off I bet she will be much braver if you aren't hovering. Kids need to learn independence, all she learned today was if she procrastinates long enough she gets her way.

 

[CEDmom]

You're not a bad mom and what you're doing will benefit your DD as she gets older. Chances are she'll get off the bus and won't even remember what happened this morning.

My DD7 is in 2nd grade and also quiet/shy. She was having issues with a boy bothering her in class. Nothing serious or I would have dealt with it directly. Anyway, I told her she needed to talk with her teacher. She was afraid because the other kids are always around. So I wrote a note to her teacher explaining that DD would like to speak with privately. DD did great talking with her teacher and I felt good knowing she for the most part handled the situation on her own.

 

[Steffi]

Oh, poor mommy! I'm sure your DD is having a great day and has forgotten all about it!

It's good for her to see that other people can help her out and that it's not such a big deal after all. You did the right thing.

 

[Lizzy2]

She'll be fine.
I agree with another poster if that's as bad as you get as a mom you'll be doing great. Kids are very resilient. Even the shy ones. What would happen if we never pushed our kids to do things on their own? We might still be tying their shoes at 40yrs.old!

 

[powellrj]

she'll be fine today.....but when she is a teenager and really, really mad at you she may try to make you feel guilty about it then!!!

Kids that age are usually ok, but trust me, if she knows you feel bad about it, there is some kind of spare brain space in their brains and they seem to be able to pull these Mommy moments out when they are 16 and you won't let them do something!!!

 

[BeNJeNWaFFLe]

Please don't feel bad for what you did! I think what you did is great and will help her out in the long run.

As someone who was that shy through their whole life, I wish people would have done things like that for me when I was younger. Would it have been embarrassing then? Yes. Would it have felt like the end of the world? Yes. But I bet it would have helped me greatly. I am 23 and I am beginning to end my shyness problems. I have gotten much better once I started college, but it is definitely still there. I hate having to initiate conversations with people I don't know well. I am learning to suck it up and just deal with it, but I still cringe at the time. From someone who has been in your dd's shoes and has cried about it also, you are doing just fine. So please don't feel bad, you are only helping your dd.

 

[goaliewife]

I applaud you for what you tried to do.

Children need to learn independence. We as parents (speaking for myself here) try to do too much for our children sometimes and then they can't or won't do for themselves.

I am speaking from expierence here. I now have a 34 year old who can't seem to do anything for himself because mom did it all for him growing up. Sad situation.

You did the right thing. Please don't doubt yourself and feel guilty.