I don't want to be THAT parent.

[AmazingGrace]

Ds17 is heading out to a reunion at the camp he worked at this summer. It's a two hour drive in the middle of nowhere. The drive to should be good, but the weather is supposed to deteriorate at about the time he's supposed to come home. We had him drive the van with traction control. We told him to either try and get home earlier than the weather or to stay another night. I'm going to cover his shift at church on Sunday to take the pressure off. I feel like we've done all we can, but I still have a really bad feeling. The hard thing is just letting him go. I would have loved to just pull the plug on the whole thing.

 

[JessicaR]

I have a 17 year old boy also. I understand totally.

 

[NikitaZee]

I am THAT driver. I hate driving in really bad weather, so I probably would have pulled the plug even if it were me doing the driving. How much driving experience does he have?

 

[Pakey]

We raised and survived 3 teenage boys and their driving. It's not an easy thing to do.

 

[minkydog]

I know just what you mean. My DD is 17, almost 18. DS is 24. At what point do we stop worrying about this stuff. I mean, sure, we could take the keys away and stomp our foot and cry, but I think the better option is to make sure his phone is charged, the car is in good repair, and he has a debit card or plenty of cash. And his inhaler, if has one. Best of luck to both of you. I know you will be on pins and needles until you hear from him.

 

[FINFAN]

Is there anyone he can carpool or caravan with? I would feel better knowing there was another person around. Hopefully other at the Reunion will have the same thoughts and be prepared to spend the night, it could even be "suggested" and his friends may all like another evening together.
Sending and your way...and hopefully the weather is not as bad as predicted.

 

[stinkerbelle's mom]

But u did let him go!

I worry about that stuff all the time and my ds is 19. He's only been driving for about 8 mos though so I still worry. He hasn't really driven in winter weather yet.

Someone once told me "you can't have faith without hope" so I think you're ok.

 

[JessicaR]

I know just what you mean. My DD is 17, almost 18. DS is 24. At what point do we stop worrying about this stuff. I mean, sure, we could take the keys away and stomp our foot and cry, but I think the better option is to make sure his phone is charged, the car is in good repair, and he has a debit card or plenty of cash. And his inhaler, if has one. Best of luck to both of you. I know you will be on pins and needles until you hear from him.

You just described my son to a T, inhaler and all. This is exactly what we do also. The GPS tracking system installed in his Jeep makes me feel better also.

 

[Disneycrazymom]

Another mom of an 18 year old here. Mine likes to drive into the city for hockey and baseball games. I hate it!!! But I just pray his was there and back.

 

[golfgal]

I don't think it is even a "parent" thing vs a responsible driver thing. If the weather was getting bad enough that I couldn't drive home I would make other arrangements-like staying another night.

 

[pilesoflaundry]

Can you make sure he puts a little bit of food, bottle water, his charged phone and a blanket in the van? That way if he has to pull over for a bit, he can and he's safe vs. not having supplies and trying to keep going to get home.

I keep granola bars and bottled water in my van at all times just in case.

 

[Mermaid02]

I'm 43 and my Mom will still call me in the morning and tell me "Be careful, it's slippery this morning."

 

[kacaju]

I am *that parent* my dd was supposed to drive to a dinner tonight, we had snow this morning and the roads are now wet. I am sure she'd be fine, but am making dh take her. She has only been driving since Oct!!

 

[elgerber]

I totally here you!!! My son is 17 1/2 and I still panic every time he drives. Even normal drives, so that would scare me too.

 

[Hannathy]

I worried less about my DD when she was a senior in HS and driving to the University in the snow than I do now a year later. In my experience the younger kids are much more cautious in the snow than when they have had a year or two of driving in it.

All you can do is teach them good skills and let them learn to make good decisions all their life and know they will not take unnecessary risks.

Maybe if it gets bad a bunch of them will think of it as an adventure and all stay over somewhere together, actually sounds like a lot of fun and a good excuse to have an all nighter or a sleep over. I bet you get a text later saying it is to bad to drive home and they are all staying over somewhere.

 

[abdmom]

Why don't you drive him? No way would I let my ds (now 15) drive long distance in winter weather for a few more years. I've known too many kids (and adults) die because of it.

 

[JessicaR]

Why don't you drive him? No way would I let my ds (now 15) drive long distance in winter weather for a few more years. I've known too many kids (and adults) die because of it.

So your son is 15 and in a few years he would be 18 - could be the posters son is close to 18. Same difference.

My son is 17 but will be 18 next month. Big difference from a 15 year old. Also driving ages vary in different states. Driving experience also.

I have a feeling the OPer is confident in her child's skills or she ultimately would have said NO. As parents I don't think there is a magic age that we stop worrying.

 

[AmazingGrace]

He needs to do these things on his own. I'm just a worrier.

 

[minkydog]

He needs to do these things on his own. I'm just a worrier.

Yes he does. Every driver at some point has to learn to handle weather conditions on the road. If he's got his license then I presume he has at least some experience driving in the dark, the rain, etc. and can probably determine when he needs to just get off the road. My DD17 has been driving for 6 months and I worry about her too. Not because she's a bad driver, but because I'm her mom.

 

[Planogirl]

He needs to do these things on his own. I'm just a worrier.

ITA. He has to get experience driving in adverse conditions too. I would make mine (or really anyone) call me though!