I didn't think it would be so hard to send my last child to school

[nkjzmom]

But it has been extremely difficult for me. I have been home with my 5 children for almost 15 years. Up until the last few months I was excited thinking about what I would do with "my" time. Projects around the house, more volunteer work at the kids' schools, perhaps going back to school...and running errands for more than an hours time without taking someone to the potty!

Beginning this summer though I found myself crying just thinking about sending the "baby" to school. Many nights I went to sleep on a wet pillow. I thought it would get easier but we've been in school for 3 weeks and I am still sad. After having everyone home over the weekends Monday is especially hard.

I've gone out to lunch with friends and am planning on working out with a friend regularly but when I am home I don't want to do anything! I don't want to go about my normal routine...it's too quiet...there's no one to talk to! Samantha was our "bonus" after we thought we were not having any more children and she and I have had so much fun over the last year!

I haven't gone to eat lunch with any of the little ones yet...I'm worried I'LL be the one clinging to their legs not to leave me!

I have told myself over and over that I am just grieving for a part of my life that is over. But please tell me "this too shall pass"!

 

[EMom]

My mother had 4 kids, but we were spread out over MANY years. I'm the youngest and the firstborn is old enough to be my parent. The one closest to me in age was in kindergarten when I was born, so it was just me and my mother alone at home for 5 years until I went to school.

She said that when she took me to school on the first day, I was so thrilled to see all those other kids, that I just took off and never looked back. We lived in the sticks with no neighbors. I was starved for playmates my own age. She went home and started her daily routine of housework, but kept breaking down into tears. Finally, she decided that with all that crying, she wasn't getting any work done anyway so I think she said she went to a friend's house to boo-hoo on her shoulder. It was very hard for her to see me off to kindergarten and she hadn't expected it to be. I don't think it's unusual. Sorry.

 

[sunlver]

I will be in your shoes soon. Though I only have 3 kids, my oldest is 15, my middle child is 10, and the youngest just turned 5 2 weeks ago. Our school starts Sept 8th. Although my youngest will be in Kinergarten half days 8-11:10am.. I am so sad.
She is such a joy to be around, and I have always been a stay at home mom. Last year she went to preschool 3 days a week, 3 hrs a day. Although I was sad, I "knew" it wasnt real school. Even though Kindergarten here is half days, its the big league in my eyes

She is so looking forward to school, all my kids have been very sociable in this aspect. Everytime we get any type of paperwork in the mail for school starting, she is jumping for joy,me not so much.

Luckily though, we are in the walking zone, so I will get to walk her to school and pick her up.. no ugly yellow bus taking my baby away

 

[nkjzmom]

I wish we had half days here. We did that the first week and I loved it!

All of my children loved going to school as well. If Samantha had been sad I'm not sure I could have sent her! She's so independent that when I walked her to the school door that first morning she said, "Mom, you don't need to come in with me. I know the way to my class." I guess that's what comes of being the youngest. She wants to do everything on her own just like her brothers and sisters.

 

[rie'smom]

My mother had 4 kids, but we were spread out over MANY years. I'm the youngest and the firstborn is old enough to be my parent. The one closest to me in age was in kindergarten when I was born, so it was just me and my mother alone at home for 5 years until I went to school.

She said that when she took me to school on the first day, I was so thrilled to see all those other kids, that I just took off and never looked back. We lived in the sticks with no neighbors. I was starved for playmates my own age. She went home and started her daily routine of housework, but kept breaking down into tears. Finally, she decided that with all that crying, she wasn't getting any work done anyway so I think she said she went to a friend's house to boo-hoo on her shoulder. It was very hard for her to see me off to kindergarten and she hadn't expected it to be. I don't think it's unusual. Sorry.

Our oldest DS was a high senior and DS# 2 was in the 5th grade, when we adopted our daughter. She is a high school sophomore now and I went through a bout of depression when she started school this year.

 

[pyrxtc]

My last one goes to school full time on Monday, don't know what I'll be doing during the day
Gonna look into taking some classes maybe for January semester?

 

[Rose&Mike]

Rose

 

[MineMail]

I have told myself over and over that I am just grieving for a part of my life that is over. But please tell me "this too shall pass"!

I know how you feel - my youngest daughters are wearing bras regularly this year. I feel like they're leaving childhood behind waaaay too fast for me. I took them to a playground though, just to check, and I'm safe for a little while - they played on the swings and started a game of hide-and-seek. Whew!

You have all those things you wanted to do - make a list and start tackling them! Get a routine down so that you keep busy. Think about how nice it will be to finish those jobs and still have time/space for homework and art projects with your kids.

My sister tells me that grandchildren are even better because you can get some rest in between visits, lol.

 

[darlak]

"This too shall pass"....but there will be other, equally traumatic events to take the place of this one. I have 4, with 15 years between my oldest and my youngest. I had no idea how hard it was going to hit when she started school until that first day. It seems that with every first for her, when I look at her, I always see "my last baby". I had enjoyed the days alone with her so much while all the others were at school.

She's 15 now and I still sometimes choke up just thinking about how soon she'll be through high school and heading off to college. I've had a child in school since 1984. That's 25 years! How strange it will seem to drive by it every morning knowing that I will no longer have any reason to go there again...ever.

Wait...I think I was supposed to be cheering you up here. Sorry. On the up side, I did go back to work after she was in the 1st grade, after having been home with the kids for almost 20 years. She's the only one left at home now and after 9/10, she'll be my only unmarried child. We have more freedom and I spent more one on one time with her than I ever had the chance to do with any of my others. It's funny how different her life experiences have been so far in comparison to my other 3. She seems to feel almost like an only child most of the time since she was the only one left at home really by the time she was 11.

I think what I'm trying to say here is that my life is very different now than when I was a younger mom with a house full of kids. It's not really better or worse (though the truth is I preferred the houseful of kids!), but it is different. Be careful not to spend so much time mourning what is no more that you overlook the advantages of what is today. Now you also have the gift of knowing how quickly this too shall pass and seizing every memory.

I'll also admit that I envy you. I wish my baby was just starting kindergarten instead of the 10th grade.

 

[live4christp1]

 

[nkjzmom]

Rose

Thank you so much!!

I know how you feel - my youngest daughters are wearing bras regularly this year. I feel like they're leaving childhood behind waaaay too fast for me. I took them to a playground though, just to check, and I'm safe for a little while - they played on the swings and started a game of hide-and-seek. Whew!

You have all those things you wanted to do - make a list and start tackling them! Get a routine down so that you keep busy. Think about how nice it will be to finish those jobs and still have time/space for homework and art projects with your kids.

My sister tells me that grandchildren are even better because you can get some rest in between visits, lol.

Haha...that's a true test! I love watching my HS freshman play like that with his little brother and sisters. It's funny you mention grandchildren because last night in bed as DH was trying to tell me funny things to cheer me up (again) I told him having grandchildren BETTER be as good as or better because we deserve it after going through all of these things with our kids!!

"This too shall pass"....but there will be other, equally traumatic events to take the place of this one. I have 4, with 15 years between my oldest and my youngest. I had no idea how hard it was going to hit when she started school until that first day. It seems that with every first for her, when I look at her, I always see "my last baby". I had enjoyed the days alone with her so much while all the others were at school.

She's 15 now and I still sometimes choke up just thinking about how soon she'll be through high school and heading off to college. I've had a child in school since 1984. That's 25 years! How strange it will seem to drive by it every morning knowing that I will no longer have any reason to go there again...ever.

Wait...I think I was supposed to be cheering you up here. Sorry. On the up side, I did go back to work after she was in the 1st grade, after having been home with the kids for almost 20 years. She's the only one left at home now and after 9/10, she'll be my only unmarried child. We have more freedom and I spent more one on one time with her than I ever had the chance to do with any of my others. It's funny how different her life experiences have been so far in comparison to my other 3. She seems to feel almost like an only child most of the time since she was the only one left at home really by the time she was 11.

I think what I'm trying to say here is that my life is very different now than when I was a younger mom with a house full of kids. It's not really better or worse (though the truth is I preferred the houseful of kids!), but it is different. Be careful not to spend so much time mourning what is no more that you overlook the advantages of what is today. Now you also have the gift of knowing how quickly this too shall pass and seizing every memory.

I'll also admit that I envy you. I wish my baby was just starting kindergarten instead of the 10th grade.

to you Darlak...thanks for the quasi-cheer up! Especially for the part I underlined...thank you for the reminder. You're right!

 

[DISNEY1975]

My last will be starting Kindergarten this year too..right after Labor Day.

Unfortunately, she has been in daycare most of her 5 year life, as I work full time. Even though I took 2 vacation days to be there at the bus stop with her the first couple of days, I wish I could be there every day giving her big hugs getting of the bus asking how her day was, baking cookies for an after school snack etc...

As bad as that is, I should be grateful that I can pick her up at 4:00pm at daycare and spend every night and weekend with her. My oldest son is going to college on Saturday and I probably wont see him again until October.

 

[nkjzmom]

Reading all of your posts has reaffirmed my opinion that women don't have one mid-life crisis like men do...we have MANY mini-crises throughout our lives.

 

[barkley]

Reading all of your posts has reaffirmed my opinion that women don't have one mid-life crisis like men do...we have MANY mini-crises throughout our lives.

AMEN.

my mom has 4 children with a 16 year age span. she's told me that her hardest times with these issues were: when her first baby (db) started k, when her last baby (me) started k, when i graduated from highschool, when the last child "left the nest"-and in later life when she realized her first baby was turning 50

i suspect in 2 years she's going to be dealing with some very strange emotions again-though she (and i to an extent) hate to admit it-her last baby will be turning 50


for me, this year has been emotionaly strange-i cannot fathom how my two babies could be anywhere near old enough to be entering 6th grade let alone highschool

 

[MomofKatie]

Oh, ladies- let's have a big group hug!!

I have an only child, so all of our 'first times' are also our 'last times'. It's all very bittersweet for me, watching DD grow up and knowing we'll never experience it all again with another.

DD started middle school this week, and it has been surprisingly difficult for me. Elementary school wasn't tough for me, but 6th grade is kicking my emotional behind.

How's this for pathetic? I was showering this AM after seeing DD off to the bus. While in the shower, I always listen to the MP3 player, and I usually have Disney music on. I was listening to the "Finding Nemo" Musical soundtrack (from the AK show at WDW), and I was crying my eyes out in the shower!! Thinking about how Marlin has to let Nemo go and live his own life made me think of DD growing up.

I am a big cryer- DD and DH can't take me anywhere without me boo-hooing over something. It seems to be getting worse as DD grows up! Me- DD and DH-

 

[nkjzmom]

Jenny...I'm a HUGE cryer. After the first week of driving Samantha to school (since it was half-day) that first day she got on the bus I cried all over again. My 12 yo DD and 14 yo DS just stood at the door with me hugging me and telling me not to cry...which made me cry more! But they were so sweet.

I keep looking for some uplifting music to keep on so the house isn't so quiet but so far I either don't feel like listening to it or it makes me cry. Yesterday I put my Frank Sinatra station on Pandora and finally I was happy with all of the songs they played. It was a good day.

 

[MomofKatie]

Another crier!! Since DD and DH are so non-emotional, I feel silly sometimes getting all teary over stuff. It's nice to know I am not the only sensitive, empathetic soul out there. DD and DH just roll their eyes and say, "Are you crying AGAIN??!!" whenever I start...