Sounds like we are on the same plan!!! I'm nearer to the Triad....
I Did It - I Quit My Job
- Thread starter reggiemcp
- Start date
Sounds like we are on the same plan!!! I'm nearer to the Triad....
thelionqueen
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2005
- Messages
- 5,384
I think some of the posters on here should write a book about being a perfect mother with no effort
Seriously, for those who have had parenting come naturally and don't have to work at it..BRAVO!! I work extremely hard to ensure my children are balanced in every way. Nutrition, emotionally, physically and much much more and it takes HARD work and ENDLESS determination. I don't know priorities of other parents, but I keep my standards to the utmost highest level and balance it with being as "laid back" and open with my children as possible..NOT an easy task.
I chose to stay home when I was pregnant with my second son and it was THE ABSOLUTE BEST thing I have EVER done!!!!
The job I left was my "Dream Job" and I loved it so much I thought I would regret it forever..WRONG! I was able to raise my children with my values and standards and not worry what they were learning from a day care provider or other children I knew absolutely nothing about.
To be certain, I think day care providers are necessary and kids can learn a lot from them, but having my children be with another mother besides myself more than 10 hours a day (twice as much as I spend with them daily) was simply not an option.
I have been VERY blessed to be able to make that tough decision and live on one income all this time..and believe me, it has been a struggle. But it was the best decision I ever made, the hardest work I have ever done and the most rewarding and satisfying thing I could have EVER given to my kids, my husband and myself. I don't have to look back like so many of my friends and say, "I wish I could've seen that" or "time flies so fast, don't even remember them at that age" or the countless other comments I've heard from my friends who work. I am able to count my lucky stars and look at pictures when they were babies and remember EVERY minute of that glorious and fleeting time.
Being a SAHM in NOT for everyone and I respect those whou would prefer to work. Personally, working outside the home would be a vacation compared to being a full time SAHM.
I just recently went back into the work force since my kids are in school full time, and it is SO much easier
I only work jobs that allow me to get off in time for me to pick them up at school (surprisingly found many employers willing to work with schedule flexibility) and send them off, so they don't even know I'm not home with them
In short, (ok not really) to the OP..CONGRATULATIONS!!! I think it's the best decision for any mother..but that is strictly my opinion and want to state it as such!
Seriously, for those who have had parenting come naturally and don't have to work at it..BRAVO!! I work extremely hard to ensure my children are balanced in every way. Nutrition, emotionally, physically and much much more and it takes HARD work and ENDLESS determination. I don't know priorities of other parents, but I keep my standards to the utmost highest level and balance it with being as "laid back" and open with my children as possible..NOT an easy task.
I chose to stay home when I was pregnant with my second son and it was THE ABSOLUTE BEST thing I have EVER done!!!!
The job I left was my "Dream Job" and I loved it so much I thought I would regret it forever..WRONG! I was able to raise my children with my values and standards and not worry what they were learning from a day care provider or other children I knew absolutely nothing about.To be certain, I think day care providers are necessary and kids can learn a lot from them, but having my children be with another mother besides myself more than 10 hours a day (twice as much as I spend with them daily) was simply not an option.
I have been VERY blessed to be able to make that tough decision and live on one income all this time..and believe me, it has been a struggle. But it was the best decision I ever made, the hardest work I have ever done and the most rewarding and satisfying thing I could have EVER given to my kids, my husband and myself. I don't have to look back like so many of my friends and say, "I wish I could've seen that" or "time flies so fast, don't even remember them at that age" or the countless other comments I've heard from my friends who work. I am able to count my lucky stars and look at pictures when they were babies and remember EVERY minute of that glorious and fleeting time.
Being a SAHM in NOT for everyone and I respect those whou would prefer to work. Personally, working outside the home would be a vacation compared to being a full time SAHM.
I just recently went back into the work force since my kids are in school full time, and it is SO much easier
I only work jobs that allow me to get off in time for me to pick them up at school (surprisingly found many employers willing to work with schedule flexibility) and send them off, so they don't even know I'm not home with them
In short, (ok not really) to the OP..CONGRATULATIONS!!! I think it's the best decision for any mother..but that is strictly my opinion and want to state it as such!
myladyisatramp
myladyisatramp
- Joined
- May 29, 2005
- Messages
- 539
Its the best move you could ever make I was a SAHM till my 3rd child was in first grade then I got mothers hours. I never regreted it at all they grow up way to fast. Plenty of time for work later. My youngest is going to be 20 and boy do I miss those days. Now its 5 days to work uguguguguh....Oh well just have to wait for those grandkids I guess....
Kickapoo Joie Juice
Gone.
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2006
- Messages
- 3,278
I just recently went back into the work force since my kids are in school full time, and it is SO much easier
I only work jobs that allow me to get off in time for me to pick them up at school (surprisingly found many employers willing to work with schedule flexibility) and send them off, so they don't even know I'm not home with them
That's me, too! I work when the kids are in school, and through the magic of VPN (virtual private network) half the time the other people at work don't even KNOW I'm not there until they come look for me and I'm not at my desk yet magically responding to their emails and spreadsheet updates...
Have you noticed now that you work that when you come home in the afternoon your house is as clean as you left it that morning?!
Until the kids come in behind you and drop all their junk, leave food all over the counter, shoes all over the floor-it's the five minute hurricane.
I make them come in the house after me so for a few magical seconds I can look at a house that's fairly clean...
I also have done it "backwards"! My DS is 7 and I worked Full Time the whole time. I loved my job, but the company closed. My DS loved his daycare. My DS is now in lst. grade and I am a SAHM.
We decided to move from NJ to SC - and this gave me the chance not to work. It has its advantages about being a SAHM - I don't feel so rushed, I don't have to take DS on all the errands. I will say I do miss working, I would love to get a job in the school system, but don't know if that will happen.
It is easier knowing when there is no school I don't have to worry about taking a day off or who is going to watch DS. Especially with the move, since we don't have any family here.
Personally I didn't feel this way - it was hard working, keeping the house clean, food shopping, any other errands, getting to practice on time, just the rushing around - it never felt like vacation!
To the OP - you need to do what is best for you and your family. I am sure it will be OK and if for some reason it isn't or doesn't work out thats OK also.
I was also nervous and still am at times about one salary, but by moving it makes it a little easier, but I do still get nervous.
We decided to move from NJ to SC - and this gave me the chance not to work. It has its advantages about being a SAHM - I don't feel so rushed, I don't have to take DS on all the errands. I will say I do miss working, I would love to get a job in the school system, but don't know if that will happen.
It is easier knowing when there is no school I don't have to worry about taking a day off or who is going to watch DS. Especially with the move, since we don't have any family here.
Personally I didn't feel this way - it was hard working, keeping the house clean, food shopping, any other errands, getting to practice on time, just the rushing around - it never felt like vacation!
To the OP - you need to do what is best for you and your family. I am sure it will be OK and if for some reason it isn't or doesn't work out thats OK also.
I was also nervous and still am at times about one salary, but by moving it makes it a little easier, but I do still get nervous.
thelionqueen
DIS Veteran
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2005
- Messages
- 5,384
Welcome to a Whole New World!!!!
There are many many costs involved with working outside of the home. Once you really add everything up, a working mom may not be taking home more than $200 per month. So after 1 year, you may only really be clearing $2,400.
If you don't believe me, do the math. But consider EVERYTHING. Haircuts, food costs (convenience foods, fast food, shopping at convenient grocery store rather than finding time to save money on groceries) money for work (coffees, snacks, lunches, participating in gifts for co-workers, being invited for lunch with co-workers), all transportation costs (extra car, insurance, transit costs, parking charges), all clothing costs, buying gifts for kids that you would not normally buy but for the sake of guilt (I remember doing that), and buying things for yourself because you *deserve* it since you work so hard, and finally the cost of daycare (not to mention, worrying if your kids are being neglected or taken care of properly or being bullied while in someone else's care).
Not everyone can make the choice to stay home and quit their job, but many women say they can't but those ladies include moms I see purchasing brand new high end strollers, enjoying meals out, getting hairstyles, and kids dressed in really nice clothing etc.
We sort of live on the other side, quite frugally. We've had to in order to live on one income. My dh bought nice professional salon scissors and cuts my hair, and our kids hair as well. We buy clothing mostly secondhand, but almost like new in most cases. We cook everything at home, and save as much as possible on groceries. The only place I spend money is at grocery store and for Disney. Of course we use fridge and prepare our own lunches/snacks etc. Last trip we had special character breakfast with Winnie the Pooh, but other than that, no real dinners out. That's how we've managed to live on one income and continue paying off our mortgage (almost paid off). I Love Craigslist.org. You can buy many baby items for a fraction of new cost.
But even more important than all the money (I figure I've lost close to $800,000 in earnings - that is before expenses of course) over the 9 years I've been home. But....
If I worked, I would have lost out on at least 2,800 hours per year with my children.
2,800 hours per year are lost for parent/child time when working.
average number hours worked per year (full-time of course) 2,000 hours
transportation (minimum 2 hours let's say and 250 working days) 500 hours
getting ready for work & evening rush to have dinner
(let's say 2 hours and 250 working days) 500 hours
Oh, well pardon my math, but it's actually closer to 3,000 and probably more because I've only accounted for 250 working days.
So for all the SAHM's out there who gave up the income (and lost job opportunities) to be the ones to raise your kids fulltime, you spend an extra 3,000 hours with your kids per year because of your choice.
That is a lot of impact on your kids. I'm not trying to start a debate, but when you sort of feel like what is the point of just being all day with a 2 or 3 year old, just know that you are giving your child close to 3,000 hours of your time that otherwise would be given to getting ready for work, work, transportation to/from work.
And to the OP... enjoy the time with the little guy because my almost 9 year old grew up so fast, it's hard to believe she's finishing 3rd grade. Days pass by slowly, but man, time has gone by fast.
I've given up a lot of money to stay with my kids, and it was the best decision for our family. Not for everyone, but for us definitely. I just figured out those hours per year and it hit me the amount of time I've had with them because I didn't work. So, hope that helps some SAHM out there when you feel frustrated by being home when everyone else around you drives nice cars and has nice clothes and goes out to eat regularly.
Fast forward to September 2008.... I'm joining the work force again as my little guy starts JK full time.
There are many many costs involved with working outside of the home. Once you really add everything up, a working mom may not be taking home more than $200 per month. So after 1 year, you may only really be clearing $2,400.
If you don't believe me, do the math. But consider EVERYTHING. Haircuts, food costs (convenience foods, fast food, shopping at convenient grocery store rather than finding time to save money on groceries) money for work (coffees, snacks, lunches, participating in gifts for co-workers, being invited for lunch with co-workers), all transportation costs (extra car, insurance, transit costs, parking charges), all clothing costs, buying gifts for kids that you would not normally buy but for the sake of guilt (I remember doing that), and buying things for yourself because you *deserve* it since you work so hard, and finally the cost of daycare (not to mention, worrying if your kids are being neglected or taken care of properly or being bullied while in someone else's care).
Not everyone can make the choice to stay home and quit their job, but many women say they can't but those ladies include moms I see purchasing brand new high end strollers, enjoying meals out, getting hairstyles, and kids dressed in really nice clothing etc.
We sort of live on the other side, quite frugally. We've had to in order to live on one income. My dh bought nice professional salon scissors and cuts my hair, and our kids hair as well. We buy clothing mostly secondhand, but almost like new in most cases. We cook everything at home, and save as much as possible on groceries. The only place I spend money is at grocery store and for Disney. Of course we use fridge and prepare our own lunches/snacks etc. Last trip we had special character breakfast with Winnie the Pooh, but other than that, no real dinners out. That's how we've managed to live on one income and continue paying off our mortgage (almost paid off). I Love Craigslist.org. You can buy many baby items for a fraction of new cost.
But even more important than all the money (I figure I've lost close to $800,000 in earnings - that is before expenses of course) over the 9 years I've been home. But....
If I worked, I would have lost out on at least 2,800 hours per year with my children.
2,800 hours per year are lost for parent/child time when working.
average number hours worked per year (full-time of course) 2,000 hours
transportation (minimum 2 hours let's say and 250 working days) 500 hours
getting ready for work & evening rush to have dinner
(let's say 2 hours and 250 working days) 500 hours
Oh, well pardon my math, but it's actually closer to 3,000 and probably more because I've only accounted for 250 working days.
So for all the SAHM's out there who gave up the income (and lost job opportunities) to be the ones to raise your kids fulltime, you spend an extra 3,000 hours with your kids per year because of your choice.
That is a lot of impact on your kids. I'm not trying to start a debate, but when you sort of feel like what is the point of just being all day with a 2 or 3 year old, just know that you are giving your child close to 3,000 hours of your time that otherwise would be given to getting ready for work, work, transportation to/from work.
And to the OP... enjoy the time with the little guy because my almost 9 year old grew up so fast, it's hard to believe she's finishing 3rd grade. Days pass by slowly, but man, time has gone by fast.
I've given up a lot of money to stay with my kids, and it was the best decision for our family. Not for everyone, but for us definitely. I just figured out those hours per year and it hit me the amount of time I've had with them because I didn't work. So, hope that helps some SAHM out there when you feel frustrated by being home when everyone else around you drives nice cars and has nice clothes and goes out to eat regularly.
Fast forward to September 2008.... I'm joining the work force again as my little guy starts JK full time.
/
t-beri
Feels Alice is vastly under represented and LOVED
- Joined
- Sep 6, 2006
- Messages
- 2,071
I have to say, and I'll put all my pride aside, that I make $10 an hour. I figured out that if I work 40 hoursa week, after taxes, childcare (fulltime daycare for 1 and before/after school for another -NOT taking the increase for summertime into account) and if, as a result of my working FT, DH and I (we work together) ate out 3 x a week at 15$ each time I ended up spending $624 a year to go to work. WHAT?!?! I didn't even account for gas or clothing etc.. Could it actually be true that we would have MORE money if I stayed home. With that knowledge and the very helpful hints on this thread about all the money I could save, by using some of the time and effort afforded to me by staying home, I am far less afraid of living on 1 income. I know it would mean driving my beat up 10 yo Honda until it gives out (that could be another 10 years-it's only got 100,000 miles on it!) and probably dying my hair myself (though I don't know when I got too proud to do that! when I was 20 I would NEVER have paid someone to dye my hair 1 color, highlights maybe.) and certainly some other luxuries but at least I know it would be possible, essentially we've been doing it for years we just never knew!
I do work for my parents who need me to do my job right now, although my mom has less work if I'm here so she has decided to keep the kids 3 days a week and I'll take off the other 2. So for now I am back to work part time and NOT paying for daycare- I plan on using my 2 days off to start doing some of the bargain shopping sahm's do and trying to put aside as much of my paycheck as possible (since we were already living without it!). We are going to spend the rest of the summer paying off our debt (we don't have a lot) and putting a little money into our car instead of buying a new one. So that if next winter is as bad as this one it won't hurt as much. And if it gets to the point where I have to put the kids back into daycare or go back to work full time I can say "Nope" cause I know being a sahm is a possibility.
This thread has caused me to look seriously at what I was making and being able to see what I was really bringing home (or spending in my case) gave me the nerve to tell my father that if he really wanted me at work then we needed to find an alternative. I know that he would rather I stayed at home w/ the kids but he knows that we'd be much better financially w/ the system that we've put in place (not to mention I am the best employee he has, how would they ever get along without me
). But it did give me real peace of mind about the potential of staying home in the future.
Thanks to all who contributed to this thread.
DAWN- most of us do understand that staying home isn't for everyone. My dad asked if I wanted to stay at home and I said that when I was not in the office (during the end of my pregnancy) that I felt so out of the loop. I wanted to call the office everyday and then I wanted to tell them all they were doing MY job wrong. My dad told me that I'd been working since I was 12 (babysitting and washing dishes at the resteraunt my mother worked in on the weekends) as soon as I was 16 I got a job on the books- OF COURSE I was going to feel out of place at home. I'd never been there. I think that to stay home you have to be able to re-define yourself a bit. Some people are so tied to their career ( they've had a job for a long time or they went to school for so many years to get there) that they are extremely attached to a position or title. That's fine. Being a sahm isn't for you. And no that doesn't make you a bad mom- or else there's a lot of bad mom's out there. I hope if that time comes for me that I will be able to let go of this working phase of my life and learn to enjoy domestication- but if I can't then I'll join you in the ranks of mom's who can't hang out in the sahm club!!!
I do work for my parents who need me to do my job right now, although my mom has less work if I'm here so she has decided to keep the kids 3 days a week and I'll take off the other 2. So for now I am back to work part time and NOT paying for daycare- I plan on using my 2 days off to start doing some of the bargain shopping sahm's do and trying to put aside as much of my paycheck as possible (since we were already living without it!). We are going to spend the rest of the summer paying off our debt (we don't have a lot) and putting a little money into our car instead of buying a new one. So that if next winter is as bad as this one it won't hurt as much. And if it gets to the point where I have to put the kids back into daycare or go back to work full time I can say "Nope" cause I know being a sahm is a possibility.
This thread has caused me to look seriously at what I was making and being able to see what I was really bringing home (or spending in my case) gave me the nerve to tell my father that if he really wanted me at work then we needed to find an alternative. I know that he would rather I stayed at home w/ the kids but he knows that we'd be much better financially w/ the system that we've put in place (not to mention I am the best employee he has, how would they ever get along without me
). But it did give me real peace of mind about the potential of staying home in the future. Thanks to all who contributed to this thread.
DAWN- most of us do understand that staying home isn't for everyone. My dad asked if I wanted to stay at home and I said that when I was not in the office (during the end of my pregnancy) that I felt so out of the loop. I wanted to call the office everyday and then I wanted to tell them all they were doing MY job wrong. My dad told me that I'd been working since I was 12 (babysitting and washing dishes at the resteraunt my mother worked in on the weekends) as soon as I was 16 I got a job on the books- OF COURSE I was going to feel out of place at home. I'd never been there. I think that to stay home you have to be able to re-define yourself a bit. Some people are so tied to their career ( they've had a job for a long time or they went to school for so many years to get there) that they are extremely attached to a position or title. That's fine. Being a sahm isn't for you. And no that doesn't make you a bad mom- or else there's a lot of bad mom's out there. I hope if that time comes for me that I will be able to let go of this working phase of my life and learn to enjoy domestication- but if I can't then I'll join you in the ranks of mom's who can't hang out in the sahm club!!!
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2005
- Messages
- 1,395
Congrats! It is a really hard decision, but it will be worth it! Your child will only be (2) once! You don't get to do do-overs! We still live in our little house and my son just turned 13! Best thing I ever did and I wouldn't trade it for anything! We had some tough times, but we managed! Heck we still make it to Disney once a year.
Let's face it, when you work full time and your child is in child care, who spends more of their waking hours with them? You made the correct decision!
And don't discredit being a SAHM! I have never worked so hard in my life! It is really much easier for me to go to work and probably is for most people, if you really think about it.
I am really lucky to be able to work part time now with a very flexible schedule. There will be plenty of time to work! Our time with our children is only borrowed for a while!
Good Luck!
(and hey,the canadian dollar is almost at par with the US...so it really is almost two cents!)
I spent the first 5 years of my boys lives as a full time SAHM, after that I did part time stuff....babysitting, working for a church...etc....things that didn't require me to put the boys in daycare.
I am one of those SAHM who found it VERY hard alot of the time! IF I hadn't had my other mom's, I don't know how I would have survived. I am very social, and enjoy working...so I found it lonely and boring alot of the time....
However, I decided to stay home for my boys, because it was the best decision for THEM! It was really about them, not me! I went back to school a couple of years ago, and am now working full-time as a middle school math teacher, and I LOVE IT! I am still on the boys schedule, and I am doing something for me now! I am going to have to work many years beyond my coworkers of the same age, to receive my pension...but I would not change it at all! I was there , and I still am, and now it's my turn!
I personally wish parenting had been easy, (and some days it is....) but for me I found (and still do!) it pretty hard, and staying home was sometimes not very fun at all! I often say it would be much more fun to stay home now...the boys are in school, and I could do what I wanted! (smart plan to those who did it that way!)
Good luck to the OP!
I guess I just wanted to say, I didn't love every minute of being a SAHM, but I am so glad I did it anyway.....it really is worth it in the end.
I spent the first 5 years of my boys lives as a full time SAHM, after that I did part time stuff....babysitting, working for a church...etc....things that didn't require me to put the boys in daycare.
I am one of those SAHM who found it VERY hard alot of the time! IF I hadn't had my other mom's, I don't know how I would have survived. I am very social, and enjoy working...so I found it lonely and boring alot of the time....
However, I decided to stay home for my boys, because it was the best decision for THEM! It was really about them, not me! I went back to school a couple of years ago, and am now working full-time as a middle school math teacher, and I LOVE IT! I am still on the boys schedule, and I am doing something for me now! I am going to have to work many years beyond my coworkers of the same age, to receive my pension...but I would not change it at all! I was there , and I still am, and now it's my turn!
I personally wish parenting had been easy, (and some days it is....) but for me I found (and still do!) it pretty hard, and staying home was sometimes not very fun at all! I often say it would be much more fun to stay home now...the boys are in school, and I could do what I wanted! (smart plan to those who did it that way!)
Good luck to the OP!
I guess I just wanted to say, I didn't love every minute of being a SAHM, but I am so glad I did it anyway.....it really is worth it in the end.
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2005
- Messages
- 1,395
Congrats! It is a really hard decision, but it will be worth it! Your child will only be (2) once! You don't get to do do-overs! We still live in our little house and my son just turned 13! Best thing I ever did and I wouldn't trade it for anything! We had some tough times, but we managed! Heck we still make it to Disney once a year.
Let's face it, when you work full time and your child is in child care, who spends more of their waking hours with them? You made the correct decision!
And don't discredit being a SAHM! I have never worked so hard in my life! It is really much easier for me to go to work and probably is for most people, if you really think about it.
I am really lucky to be able to work part time now with a very flexible schedule. There will be plenty of time to work! Our time with our children is only borrowed for a while!
Good Luck!
Miz Diz
<font color=darkorchid>I'll give up anything, as l
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2006
- Messages
- 3,711
I've been talking about quitting for 2 years now and still haven't done it. I told my DH I am turning in my notice on Monday. I hope to work until the end of the month. It is very scary for me because I think I am really good at what I do, but not such a good "Housewife." But I feel this is what is best for my family right now. Thanks for posting OP - hopefully I will not back out of my resignation (I had a bad night with the kids tonight)
Blondiex46
Stayin in the park next time 2010
- Joined
- Mar 21, 2003
- Messages
- 1,350
maybe I need to get a job, not quit one, lol
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